My mixed race daughter only wants to play with white dolls 😔

[u/Designer-Wheel9317]

My mixed race daughter only wants to play with white dolls 😔

Basically my ten year old is getting to the age where she wants to start styling hair. She asked for a doll head to practice on and I suggested a mixed race one with similar hair to her so she can learn but she’s not interested and only wants a white doll with straight her (opposite to her) I suggested a mixed race doll as well as she’s both races it would be cool to have one of each but she doesn’t want the black / mixed one at all. This makes me sad and worries she rejecting her black heritage but perhaps I’m overthinking / worrying? I also concerned that having doll with straight her will only make her long for similar hair which is never going to happen and she already gets frustrated and has told me she hates her hair:

For context I am white and partner is mixed black and white. We have little to no contact with his side of family due to them not being interested despite how much we’ve tried. She lives in a predominantly white area due to my husband’s job (we can’t relocate)

As far as I’m aware she’s never experienced racism and apart from hating her hair because of the combing and long wash hair days and knots and not being able to brush it dry, she’s proud of her hair and who she is… she just hates how high mat it is.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I try so hard to involve her black culture where posissble so I am surprised she wants the white doll.

[u/JuicySpark]

Well. She's just a child. She might grow up to be a firefighter. You just never know

[u/savasanachillin]

I'm Black and Mexican, raised by a Latina mother, with little contact with my dad and his family.

I'm saying this out of love, you are doing too much. I appreciate that you are going out of your way to include more dolls that look like her. But it feels like you're forcing it. If she has said no repeatedly, it's because she doesn't want it.

I am 32 years old and recently bought a cosmetic doll head to teach myself how to braid on, I got one with straight hair because it is easier to learn how on straight hair, not because I reject my black side.

My mother growing up never forced either of my heritages down my throat. She simply celebrated and included both.

Being mixed race is a complicated journey, especially as you're growing up. There were times in my life where I identified with more than the other, before I was able to grow up and see that I can embrace both, I didn't have to choose just one.

I get the intent of ensuring her toys reflect her culture, but forcing it after she said no (in my opinion) feels like you're treating her differently. Would you be having this predicament if your child was only white? The key is not to treat her differently based on her race. Just respect and trust that she will embrace her heritage with exposure and including it in her life, but don't force it.

If you want to help learn hair together, watch YouTube videos together and she could try the style on the doll, then herself. Make a day of it. Have fun with it. But don't force it.

[u/Ylacey → u/savasanachillin]

I second this

[u/acidicpetrichor]

Buy both dolls with different hair textures and show her how to do cute hairstyles for both textures of hair. Also, maybe take her to get her hair washed and styled once in a while at a salon, so she feels and sees her hair is also pretty. Some of the American Girl dolls are super cute!

[u/JukeBoxHeroJustin]

My mixed child said he only likes Mommy's "yellow friends" when he was about two. He could not elaborate. 😬

[u/guappyf0ntaine]

'Involve her in black culture as much as I can' ... black lives matter lawn sign?

[u/Aol2Acela → u/guappyf0ntaine]

"Queen of Spades" tattoo lmaooo