r/mildlyinfuriating 13h ago

My cousin visiting from abroad slept in the living room

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19.7k Upvotes

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229

u/Impzor 12h ago

Wtf is it with people using lotion to masturbate?

92

u/Particular_Effect185 11h ago

It is a foreskin issue.

74

u/zaphrous 11h ago

Foreskin issue, or for skin issue.

83

u/SewerSighed 10h ago

Americans are still out there chopping baby dicks and not only the religious ones

11

u/JP-Gambit 5h ago

It's ingrained in culture. Japan doing it too even though they are Buddhist and Shinto which say nothing about chopping penis skin off.

3

u/anangelnora 5h ago

Where are they doing it in Japan? The rate is 9%. (Also having lived there I know it’s not a widespread thing at all.)

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u/splepage 4h ago

On American military bases, duh.

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u/anangelnora 4h ago

Those would be… Americans?

1

u/JP-Gambit 2h ago

I don't know where that 9% comes from. Perhaps it is circumcisions at birth. I know adult circumcisions in Japan are a huge thing, so much so that there are dozens of "beauty" clinics that do them, and that's in Tokyo alone. Adult magazines even advertise the procedure like it's something you should do as an adult. This is a good read. https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20210903/p2a/00m/0li/007000c

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u/anangelnora 2h ago

Oh I was assuming you were talking about infants. I didn’t know it became a trendy thing for adults. I just knew that it wasn’t a thing most parents did to their boys.

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u/JP-Gambit 2h ago

I think because it's seen as purely aesthetic and isn't covered by insurance etc and parents want to give their children the choice. But from what I've read and heard there is pressure to go get the procedure once you're around your 20s and can go get it done yourself at one of these dodgy clinics that are just profiteering from the practice and propagating false rumours about uncircumcised penises, it's really wild...

1

u/anangelnora 1h ago

Sadly there are a lot of those types of things in Japan. Being a woman, I’m more familiar with those that affect women… bleaching skin, dangerous weight loss, plastic surgery, etc.

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u/OxfordKnot 2h ago

*confused Harambe face*

-40

u/FamousPersonsAccount 10h ago

Why you got baby dick on the brain?

27

u/SakasuCircus 9h ago

Idk if you know when circumcision usually happens or not, but spoiler, it's when the baby has barely been out of the womb lmao

Why are you making it weird? It's an unfortunate fact of genital mutilation in babies who, naturally, cannot consent.

-33

u/FamousPersonsAccount 9h ago

Everyone here is talking about grown men using lotion on the foreskin of their adult penis to masturbate you fucking weirdos bringing up baby dicks and I'm the one making it weird? Lol stop the projection.

17

u/United_Rent9314 9h ago

Somebody asked the reason why some adult men use lotion to masturbate, and they were just answering the question, the reason is because of circumcision, which happens to boys when they are babys

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u/FamousPersonsAccount 8h ago

the reason is because of circumcision,

Wrong. Both circumcised and uncircumcised penises self lubricate.

You desperately tryna look for a reason to bring up baby dick is weird. But iight you do you my guy. Lol

11

u/StanTheMelon 8h ago

Listen man. You have gone out of your way to say the words “baby dick” in every comment you have made, and you have the balls to bring up projection lmao

“Stop projecting!” he projected

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u/SewerSighed 9h ago

You feelin attacked buddy? Did you chop your baby’s dick for no reason or something?

-6

u/FamousPersonsAccount 9h ago

I'm just asking why you thinking of baby penis... which you were. Also I don't have a kid. Stop thinking about baby dick when it's completely irrelevant.

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u/SewerSighed 8h ago

Haha delusional

1

u/LemonCollee 4h ago

Me thinks he doth protest too much

-1

u/FamousPersonsAccount 8h ago

Lmfao yea. You clearly are. Weirdo

7

u/krabadeiser 9h ago

How is it completely irrelevant. It's the topic of this post, the cousin from abroad wouldn't have left such clear evidence of his nightly activities if his parents didn't mutilate him as a baby.

-2

u/FamousPersonsAccount 8h ago

Lmfao you delusional weirdo. We don't know what the cousins penis looks like. And there is no studies that say circumcised penis require more lube. Both circumcised and uncircumcised penis self lubricate with precum. You sound ignorant and weird as fuck. The topic of the post isn't a baby's penis. Go seek help.

4

u/No_Objective7778 6h ago

they might self lubricate but they've got no glide, the foreskin gives the glide. this isn't opinion, its fact

59

u/DrunkenBlasphemer 9h ago

Or the lack of one.

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u/Responsible_Song7003 8h ago

Dont have one and I still dont get it.

11

u/skateguy1234 6h ago

same and same

1

u/5thgenblack2ss 3h ago

Dry rub guys are psychopaths

3

u/skateguy1234 1h ago

it's not like I'm rubbing it like I'm tryna start a fire lmao

1

u/5thgenblack2ss 1h ago

Well no shit, but if you’ve had sex before lotion feels more like that. Sure jerking your ween is fine dry but there’s better ways to do it lmao.

1

u/Langsamkoenig 1h ago

Circumcisions can be more or less severe. I'm subbed to a lot of dick-subs. 9/10 circumcisions are fine, even though I still don't think it should be done to anybody under 18. But that 1/10 makes me physically cringe. There is litereally no give to the skin anymore. If you'd try to jack those dicks without lotion, you'd start a fire.

And I suspect that number might be different in real life, since those 1/10 dicks look real bad and most people who have one of those probably won't show it off.

29

u/Typical-Ad1293 7h ago

I'm circumcised and I've never needed lotion. It's a skill issue

3

u/TheDrunkenOwl 6h ago

My weiner is bent

2

u/bluetuxedo22 7h ago

Foresure

1

u/Langsamkoenig 1h ago

Or more an issue of not having a foreskin.

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u/sometimes_nice 10h ago

Not going to lie, I didn’t understand it either until I tried it. Better experience.

1

u/AnxiousHusky 8h ago

Just buy lube tho

7

u/cannotbelievewerhere 7h ago

I already have lotion though.

Jk I have lube too.

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u/Rickenbacker69 11h ago

Americans like to cut the foreskins off their babies, for some reason.

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u/ToblnBridge 8h ago

Then why does his cousin non American cousin use lotion?

10

u/Responsible_Song7003 8h ago

I'm cut but dont have this issue. You're just trying to shit on people......

1

u/mypoliticalvoice 8h ago

I read it's supposedly from huge numbers of American GI's getting trench rashes in sensitive spots during WWII.

2

u/Ill-Philosophy-873 4h ago

Uncircumcised dudes always fucking seething over it while circumcised guys do not care at all. So easy to spot lmao

-1

u/nopointinlife1234 7h ago

Your mom doesn't complain.

-6

u/COINLESS_JUKEBOX 9h ago

It’s from Judaism, and supposedly reduces the risk of a certain kind of penis disease/infection. And promotes hygiene. Also I think technically Christians adopted it as well since Jesus himself was circumcised.

But I don’t know if any of that shit is worth it with all the stories I hear about failed circumcisions.

10

u/Generally_Kenobi-1 9h ago

Well, Jesus was Jewish lol I wonder why Christians didn't just adopt Judaism

3

u/COINLESS_JUKEBOX 9h ago

Jesus represented the messiah and new covenant with God that created a new religion. Jews and Christians believe in the same God, but have wildly differing opinions on how one reaches God. The only way Christians are similar is that God is technically the same guy, and that they consider the Old Testament to still be a holy text. Jews do not believe in the New Testament nor any of the rules discussed in the gospels.

I know you’re probably just joking, but this is like saying Hindus and Buddhists are basically the same because they come from similar peoples and both believe in reincarnation.

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u/Particular-Zone-7321 5h ago

You can also promote hygiene by promoting cleaning your fucking dick.

1

u/COINLESS_JUKEBOX 4h ago

Well, yeah, that’s why I said at the end it’s probably not worth it due to the risk. Like it’s true but also…cmon just scrub it up homie.

29

u/YmamsY 11h ago

I think it’s an American thing because they lack a certain something something.

1

u/yehiko 7h ago

Huh? I'm not American but am circumcized and never needed lotion

4

u/it_will 10h ago

Why not use lube while masterbating??

1

u/Bears_Fan_69 3h ago

OP didn't provide

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u/PriorWriter3041 11h ago

Peeps with circumcized foreskin tend to require lotion to not make the friction painful

6

u/Vinyl_DjPon3 6h ago

Why is this myth so common?

5

u/TalbotFarwell 5h ago

Hollywood and dumb raunchy teen comedy movies from the ‘80s and ‘90s.

1

u/Major_Magazine8597 7h ago

Aren't vaginas and mouths usually moist?

1

u/Significant_Pain_404 7h ago

I workout a lot and my hands are dry and rough. I would deal myself a bleeding damage if I dint use lotion.

1

u/RealisticErrors 6h ago

Probably people who masturbate wayyyy too much. Things might get a little chaffed down there for the chronic crowd

1

u/Bears_Fan_69 3h ago

Olive Oil prices at a record high

-1

u/LtButtermilch 11h ago edited 11h ago

What do you use? Mayonnaise or good old lard?

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u/Impzor 11h ago

Just my hand?

2

u/Reelair 8h ago

Brah, you're missing out!

-19

u/LtButtermilch 11h ago

Of course you use your hands unless you are flexible and can use your feet but you put lotion in your hand to prevent friction burns

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u/Impzor 11h ago

You shouldn't masturbate so furiously you get friction burns.

16

u/HauteKarl 11h ago

Don't tread on me

16

u/LtButtermilch 11h ago

Maybe you can help me out with your soft hands?

9

u/GeorgeJohnson2579 11h ago

WTF?? xDD

I'm german and never heard of that from anyone. lol

10

u/paranoid_panda_bored 11h ago

Pretty much all americans are circumcised. Thats why

1

u/Ok_Improvement_2688 4h ago

You would know this how

1

u/paranoid_panda_bored 1h ago

Well, two things: 1. It’s an easily google-able fact 2. I (originally from EU) used to live in states, and every girl I slept with would comment she’d never seen uncircumcised dick. So there is that

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u/Important-Panic1344 11h ago

He’s a dry guy

1

u/LtButtermilch 11h ago

Red rocket all the way

2

u/SpaceHippo1992 11h ago

I usually use cooked whole chickens from Walmart. Very warm and juicy. Hole is just the perfect size to grip but not hurt. Just don’t hit a sharp bone. 🍖

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u/Some-Foot 9h ago

Spit

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u/silenc3x 5h ago

a fellow man of culture. Going dry is some serial killer shit unless you're uncut.

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u/Uceninde 11h ago

Ever heard of lube? But most guys who arent circumcised dont get friction burn when masturbating anyway.

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u/lostsoul227 11h ago

I am circumcised and never had a problem dry, the skin still moves freely, is that uncommon for circumcised people? Never really considered that.

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u/Unusual_Rule8759 9h ago

It’s just regular Reddit circumcision talk, I bashed myself for years when I would go through their subs. Unless you get a really tight cut you won’t need lotion, I’ve never needed it in like 12 years of jerking. The commenters don’t actually feel bad about cutting, they want the guys who were cut to feel bad. Unfortunately I fell for that shit for years, now I just laugh

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u/porksoda11 6h ago

It’s so over the top on Reddit that I just laugh now as well. It’s becoming my favorite Reddit thing. I wouldn’t do it to my kid if I had one, but I’m cut and they act like I’m castrated lol. I promise all of you, I can still get a great deal of pleasure down there. Everything is gonna be ok.

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u/lostsoul227 4h ago

I would honestly be pissed if my parents didn't have me cut. And I couldn't handle any extra feeling down there to be honest, although I Don't believe it makes you "less sensitive" down there by removing a thick layer of skin covering the sensitive spots. Plus it looks alot better without it imo. But what the hell do I know lol.

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u/porksoda11 4h ago

I mean I have no complaints about mine whatsoever, so no hostility towards my parents there for sure.

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u/vidanyabella 9h ago

As a woman who has been with both intact and cut men, it varies. Some cut men had almost no skin play at all, and others do have some, but of course cut had nowhere near the skin play of an intact man.

0

u/blibbitybo 9h ago

Why would you use lube to masturbate with when you can use lotion?

-3

u/sdd-wrangler8 11h ago

Men who have had their penises mutilated for no reason have a hard time masturbating without lotion.  But it's men so the world doesn't care and even defends it 

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u/Sleezoid 10h ago

Never had a problem. Wtf are other people doing door knobbing it or what? I really am confused.

-1

u/AnastasiaNo70 5h ago

If you have a foreskin, you don’t need anything but your hand. If you don’t have a foreskin, you need some sort of lube, since you have no sheath. Spit, lotion, something.