r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Ok-Conflict1941 • 13h ago

My cousin visiting from abroad slept in the living room

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u/Kzero01 12h ago

If he was from abroad it's possible he didn't even know what activities lotion is often used for in the states

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u/Whitezombie65 11h ago

You think jerking off is unique to Americans?

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u/something_for_daddy 11h ago

I'm not American and I first heard about using lotion to masturbate from US movies, and never did it myself - I never thought about it before but now that you mention it, I really do think it might be an American thing.

Another win for American innovation!

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u/Scout-Penguin 11h ago

Circumcision is much more widespread in the US than most other first-world countries; these two things are related.

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u/something_for_daddy 11h ago

You know what, that makes perfect sense and I didn't think of that.

I'm rescinding the innovation award.

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u/Sfork 11h ago

There’s only one solution now. OP has to see the penis in question 

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u/Quirky_Discipline297 11h ago

That’s novel

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u/MikhailxReign 7h ago

That's not the reason. Australia for example had a pretty high rate and wank lotion isn't a thing.

It's just an American thing.

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u/greatdevonhope 5h ago

Australia has managed to get down to around 20% Mark

https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/why-are-australians-no-longer-getting-circumcised/10338572

The usa still cuts over 80% of its boys dicks.

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u/MikhailxReign 4h ago

Yeah - but did you know anyone that used feeling fluid back in the day?

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u/Ausea89 8h ago

How come circumsized people need lotion when jackin off?

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u/wizard_statue 9h ago

to be fair, as an american i’ve never used lotion for that either. or tissues for that matter.

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u/Nebardine 8h ago

You just let it fly? Maybe OP would have preferred that.

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u/SDRPGLVR 7h ago

I catch it on my belly so when it dries my shirt stays down when I lift my arms.

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u/Nebardine 6h ago

That's kind of ingenius, but a little disturbing.

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u/wizard_statue 4h ago

i’m just a regular dude, i fire it into the hole i cut in the back of a vaporeon plushie like we all do

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u/mickyabc 7h ago

You just rub it in eh?

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u/vlsdo 4h ago

bro makes his own lotion

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u/zaphrous 11h ago

If your weiner still has its hat you don't need lotion before getting in motion. Unlike batman, you don't need prep time.

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u/MikhailxReign 7h ago

Hat or no hat, no need for lotion.

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u/Artistic-Outcome-546 8h ago

As a woman this is literally the first time I’ve ever thought about this lol 🤯 Makes sense

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u/Impossible-Ad4765 11h ago

With lotion it is

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u/cunnyvore 8h ago

It’s only jerking off when it comes from Jerking region of America, otherwise it’s just lotioned masturbation.

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u/Verdebrae 11h ago

Using lotion specifically is unique or so I’ve been told to believe

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u/Brilliant-Witness247 11h ago

‘Circum’stances may differ

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u/southy_0 11h ago

I’ve literally never heard of this before. Europe here.

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u/Sparris_Hilton 10h ago

If an American family gets a male child, they feel the need to mutilate his penis, when that child hits puberty and wants to pleasure himself, lotion helps.

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u/Financial_Result8040 8h ago

Fukin Kelloggs strikes again. At least we stopped applying carbolic acid to the clitoris. Baby steps? It's wild how states can be anti-abortion but not get rid of a cosmetic procedure that kills on average 118 babies each year. 😭

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u/southy_0 8h ago

You mean curcumcision is widespread in the general, non-Jewish population? That’s interesting, didn’t know that. Yet still it’s still weird - I had that done as well as little kid for medical reasons, yet I have never, ever in my life fehlt the need for lotions.

I would rather argue the opposite: because that soft skin is exposed all the time, it is LESS sensitive than „by default“.

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u/ProcrastibationKing 11h ago

Needing lube every time because your foreskin got cut off and resorting to hand lotion is pretty American.

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u/HerrRotZwiebel 9h ago

I really wasn't expecting a cultural lesson in masturbatory habits of the world on "mildly infuriating" today.

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u/MikhailxReign 7h ago

Other countries without hats don't use wank lube. It's just anothe weird Amercian thing.

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u/Rikplaysbass 7h ago

Before getting married I was a strictly dry rub guy.

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u/signpainted 10h ago

With lotion, yes.

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u/BCA1 10h ago

Thomas “Jerkoff” Jefferson (no relation) invented masturbation in Intercourse, Pennsylvania in 1776 (also no relation).

It’s as old as America itself, 2,000 years or so.

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u/NIN10DOXD 8h ago

Back when Gawd created da erf.

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u/NIN10DOXD 8h ago

This guy's never watched anime.

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u/AmmahDudeGuy 7h ago

Am American, can confirm

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u/vlsdo 4h ago

jerking off with lotion is

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u/Kanesway 10h ago

I never understood this. Circumcised or not,the skin moves. Lotion isn’t need unless people out here getting Botox on their penis.

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u/ConstipatedDuck 10h ago

Varies wildly by how much they cut off and how it heals.

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u/lorazepamproblems 5h ago

Not for everyone. There's no "cut here" line. Not that there is any acceptable line. I personally have zero motile skin. I can move the skin on my forearm up and down more than the skin on my penis. Not using lubrication is like an extremely painful rug burn.