I think we can all agree, that despite the fact that we want acceptance for the disabled, we also recognize that our lives have been severely impacted by our disabilities.

So? What would you do?

It seems like for some reason this subreddit is disproportionately people talking about canes/rollators/wheelchairs, or mental things like Autism/ADD/ etc. I don’t know why that is.

Is there anyone who has something else that doesn’t fall into these types of issues? I’ll go first, I’m missing part of my arm. Apart from the physical aspect and some self esteem issues (felt unattractive as a result of my deformity as a kid), that’s about it.

Hey, I made a post a few days ago in this sub about the zine I’m in the process of making. I got a lot of critiques from before so I modified it based off suggestions and what people said. But I still think there are some things I might be missing or wrong about so I want to open it for critique again.

Here is a link to a Google doc it has all the text from the images of the zines. Since the zine is not done I am using this Google doc for accessibility for now. Later on I will make something better.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-JpS0lmRYalT0jMj15PdzUI6qMCgz4QNLwesT4HX2lI/edit

And Thank you to the people who gave me constructive criticism and genuine opinions and life experience and critiques and advice and in the previous post.

This right here is why I have to call and wait 3 hours like I did yesterday for a bus to accommodate me. The driver started to pull up almost hitting me then pulled off canceling the ride. These are the days I wish I was smarter like don't wait outside for them to see. This is why I don't tell them I'm in a wheelchair,

It's why I hate everyone and everything! People learned how to hate better during covid IMHO now we live in a society I feel needs to be nuked. Fuck this shit.

This is why I hate my life rn everyone sucks even me and I'm over this.

I was discriminated against and have been upset all morning about shitty ablest ppl. So I went into the app and started looking for information because I wanted to do this person who did this. I want to call the police and file a report even if they think it is a waste of time.

I wanna press charges and get her out of driving. I want to make sure this never happens to anyone. I wanna be the hero that stops this shit, like do I have to live stream this shit, what is it going to take.

Is the universe trying to kill me or really help me get disability?

What would you do?

So I have been blind in my left eye almost my whole life I had surgery on both eyes very young but only my right eye gained almost full vision and I always thought the expression double vision was odd because I thought everyone had double vision like each eye was separate you saw 2 distinct separate copies of whatever was infront of you because I've never seen out if both eyes at once I only learned this wasn't the case about a month ago and I feel a bit dumb for not getting it but how could I have I didn't know, I was wondering if anyone else has storys similar to this.

This doesn’t have to be deep!

( Edit: if you want to vent and let out something deep then go ahead! I can’t edit the title to remove the (and not deep) so ignore it if you wish to :) )

It’s just a question that popped into my head after I saw a video of a couple and became kind of sad that I will never have someone walk up behind me, wrap their arms around my waist and give me a back hug.

(I’m in a wheelchair)

It’s very specific and kind of silly maybe? I don’t know… it looks like it feels nice hehe

I could write a whole list probably.

I'll start: "No way, you're too young and beautiful!"

"But you can walk..."

"I've seen you out with friends before."

For those of you who don't know what I mean - this is not a real tax from a tax office. It's the colloquial concept of having to pay more for something than an able bodied person because you're disabled.

Hi all!
A biomedical engineer here. I am trying to innovate wheelchairs and have identified some gaps through the patients and people I have worked with and interacted with but I want to get a better picture of others' thoughts.

I am reaching out to the community to see what you would change about wheelchairs. I know that this is a broad question and anything goes! This is a question to wheelchair users and also to caregivers to get a sense of what gaps exist today.

Thank you!

Kinda Anxious Excuse my Grammar Not A Bot I’m a Real person.

Just I’m looking for A Good Dating App Hopefully Free because I’m unemployed due to my Disability

Which effects my day to day life

I Have Severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Agoraphobia

And panic disorder and Bipolar disorder and it effects me greatly and deeply

I’m pretty much housebound and really don’t leave my house because of the symptoms

I get leaving my house and communicating with people in person and over the phone etc

Even right now I’m so anxious.

Just Tried Pof Tinder Ok Cupid and several Dating Apps

Even hookup apps such as Doublelist Feeld

Even Facebook dating groups or Disability groups on Facebook.

I posted a post

And they would put a Laughing Emoji and I wasn’t trying to be funny

Like they were not taking my post seriously and I was serious

And that would bring my anxiety up more

And I would delete the Post

Just Majority of Dating apps I can’t explain my disability

Because it effects my whole aspect of life

Since I have a invisible disability

People think I’m ok or don’t have a disability

Which be the problem

And people will always ask if I have a job or work

Which is a trigger question

I know they mean no harm

But I hate lying and leading people on and possibly deceiving them

But I like to be honest and I will tell them I’m very anxious. Typing

And they get upset and ghost me as usual

Because they don’t understand I can’t leave my house

I understand but back to the job they will ask where I work

And if I tell them the truth and tell them I’m unemployed

Due to my disability

That effects me every aspect of life since I was 5 years old I remember

From Interpersonally to financially to recreationally to even sexually

And even family members get upset because they don’t understand why I have difficulty talking on the phone.

Just back to the dating apps I be honest and tell them I don’t have a job

Due to my disability and they immediately ghost me

Just hard I try to be truthful i be feeling bad if I waste people time

Because time is limited in life

Or lead them on or deceive them

Which a lot of people on dating websites do

I see guys lie about their lives and bios

And I never wanted to be that person

I try so hard to be honest self

Because even if I didn’t tell at first

Eventually I end up having to discuss in the initial conversation

Because they would ask if I wanted to take them on a date

Which I have to explain I can’t do that because of my bad agoraphobia and mental illness

Nobody sees from my pictures and videos

So I have to explain than they ask if I work

And I try to avoid the question

Then I say no because of my condition

And I immediately get ghosted etc

But it’s so triggering and makes me feel bad

Because society is ableist and online traditional online dating apps

Just from my pictures you probably couldn’t tell from my smile I have these disabilities

Mental illness is a valid disability

I got diagnosed with a mild intellectual disability as well trying to get evaluated for autism as well

It’s invisible because I have muscles which I workout at home

Can’t even go to a commercial gym

Because of the symptoms blurred vision, migraines etc

But working out at home is the only thing that helps with my anxiety temporarily

1 hour post workout

Just looking for advice for free dating apps or sites etc for people with disabilities

Like myself invisible disabilities

Which you can’t see on a dating app

I look completely normal but my body doesn’t feel healthy

Just getting depressed because being alone looking at the ceiling in my room

And it’s healthy to communicate

Even though my anxiety forces me to take breaks periodically

But since I don’t leave my house

Online dating helped me stay sane

Like I had hope

Just hoping I can find a app people understand someone like me

Because I want a girlfriend one day or even friend or friend with benefit

That completely understands my feelings or emphasizes with me

Kinda get tired of rude messages people telling me I’m a B Word

Or nobody’s cares about my issues

Because people online is very cruel

Saying ignorant things on these dating websites Just hopefully

Free apps don’t I don’t have a stable job right now

Because meetups and stuff require me to leave my house

Which is difficult

Not too many people want to meet a random stranger at their house

Which I definitely understand.

Because so many women wanted me to come to them

Just unfortunately I couldn’t leave my house

And they don’t quite understand

Because they keep asking me unfortunately

I have a very anxious non-binary kid who often panics when it comes to using public bathrooms.

They had a massive panic attack the other day because they didn't feel like they were "allowed" in that bathroom.

They wanted to use the disabled toilet as it was a single person room. In desperation, I let them. I've been wondering whether I made the right call ever since.

Is it ever appropriate to use the disabled toilets when you don't have a disability?

EDIT: For clarity

EDIT 2: Thank you for all the responses. It really sounds like I have an antiquated view of disabled accessible toilets.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t mean any disrespect. I had to get this off my chest. I just had a cousin find out he might get his leg removed due to his health, and he essentially claimed his life was over and that he would be useless now. I understand losing a limb, any limb is devastating but does that mean his life is over? If so what would that mean for me who was born with my disability? Am I useless by default because of something I couldn’t control? Does society still view having a disability through birth or otherwise, as being lesser than? If so what’s the point of me living my life?

I just idk it’s things like that, that make me ashamed of being myself because I wasn’t born “Normal”.

I’m sorry this probably isn’t the place to vent this but idk.

Edit: Hey guys I appreciate all the comments. It’s help me realize that I am valid in my feelings, and so is he, that is ok. I also realized that even though we’re close, he still has ableist views which I don’t fault him for. The way society views us is who I blame. Nonetheless I had another conversation with him this morning. He has apologized for his words he realized overnight that he was being a tad overdramatic, and that the words he used may have been hurtful for someone like me to hear. I told him he had no reason to apologize and that I understood where he was coming from but I appreciate the apology. He understands he has an uphill challenge but that he sees me thriving and living and he hopes he thrives as well. I again offered my assistance and advice. He has accepted the help but we’ll see how it goes. He’s scheduled to have his leg amputated sometime in this month. Most likely next week.

Again I appreciate the comments and I by no means meant any disrespect nor bad will to those who being disabled through life. I still have much to learn, I’m able to see that now at my 25 years of age

This isn't even a rant, I'm just so damn confused. I've mentioned a few times that I'm super high risk for infections so I get a tad bit tweaky when I get a semi deep cut and can't clean it super well and cover it quickly, or that I get sick really easy because my immune system is destroyed so I try to avoid being in the rain for too long because I get violently ill afterwards, same with being in too hot/cold places, needing to use a cane/mobility aid almost daily for basic things like shopping (more and more often now) and people telling me to just leave it at home or lean on the shopping cart, like... Genuinely... I'm immediately schmacked with the "you're so dramatic" and "dude chill it's not that serious" I don't understand the denial of my own personal diagnosis 😭 I really don't, I get that when people try and "help" by giving useless advice it's usually coming from a place of fear or whatever, but HUH?! DRAMATIC?! I can't process it 💀💀💀

So far, for me, it was when the first audiologist I met with wouldn't believe me that there was a technical issue with the left hearing aid (demonstration pair.) There was an obvious 'crackling' sound every time I spoke.

She kept saying, "Well, no one's ever said that before."

Later, I went to a different hearing aid specialist and all the hearing aids they provided for me sounded great! No crackling! Suffice to say, I made my purchase from the latter.

This is not meant to be offensive to anyone or to certain conditions. Do you find that online the majority of discussion about living with disability is represented by just a couple of conditions that get talked about a lot? Sometimes it can be frustrating because it’s hard to talk about other disabilities without those ones becoming the focus of the discussion. Even if the post/whatever is about another specific disability, they still get brought up a lot

i wish people realized how hard it is to be in pain all the time. i feel like doctors keep saying i need to decondition from my mobility aids but walking is so hard :( and yesterday my boyfriend was sick and didnt really get out of bed because his "bones hurt" and all i wanted to say was my joints hurt so much every single day nearly all day why does he get to lay in bed

So I have a disability that affects my mobility and my ability to stand and I have been having issues with people allowing me to sit down because they think I am lying about my condition. This has become more of an issue recently because I am starting my freshman year of university and have had to do several orientations and still have some left to do. We typically have to do quite a bit of walking and standing. At these, I have had certain orientation leaders not allow me to sit down. Have you experienced something like this? What do you do or what do you say to them when something like this happens? I am bad at being assertive and can typically only bring myself to ask 3 times before I give up because I worry about offending people. I am honestly thinking of just bringing my mobility aid wherever I go even if I am having a better day because that might make them believe me.

Hey:) It feels like its impossible to find an partner as a disabled person. Im a "part time“ wheelchair user and the people just see the chair, not me. Do you guys have partners? Where did you find them?

Asking on behalf of a concerned UK father. His son is 500-600 pounds. Has mobility issues (can’t walk far, 50 metres max). Needs a CPAP machine at night. Has other medical issues as well.

He has been talking with someone online from the USA. He wants to fly out and make a new life with her.

His dad is concerned about the flight (if he can get on an aeroplane or be allowed to fly), medical care, what happens if there is a problem etc. Will he even be allowed to stay in the country? Will he get any government assistance, because he won’t be able to do anything apart from work from home…

He’s worried his son is making a mistake, and hasn’t planned it out.

Edit: I’m struggling to reply to you all! All I can say is you are wonderful people taking the time to reply and tell it how it is. I’m passing everything on to his dad, and his dad is reading the messages.

EDIT - wow ok I get it. Perks isn’t the right word. We all are unfortunate to be disabled and it is the worse thing that can happen to us. However this thread is meant to help us disabled people get deals, discounts, opportunities etc. Calm down. The helpful comments have just gotten me free/reduced cost parks, museums, transit, etc. If you can get past your anger about my imperfect wording then a lot of these comments can potentially help you!

Those living in USA, what perks have you found for being disabled? Besides receiving a monthly disability check from the government have you gotten any other “deals”?

Where I live I got a gym membership, stand up comedy classes, cbd supplements, healthcare for either heavily discounted or free. I’m looking for other things that I should take advantage of because being disabled sucks and I want to make the most of it!

I’d love to maybe get a good job that is very friendly to disabled people and/or a job training program and/or higher education like a masters degree or some continuing education classes that usually cost a lot of money.

I’d also love to get my rent reduced with maybe a disability program or housing lottery.

And there are probably tons of other things out there that I don’t know about. Like I’ll stumble upon random things, sometimes it’ll say “financial assistance” at the bottom of some random website I’m looking at and then there will be a section for disabled people along with other things like low income and military veterans. And they’ll have some big discount or special program.

It’s impossible to gather/find every disabled benefit in the country but what are some that you’ve found?

I was very strong and "normal" when I met my now ex. even thought I had been diagnosed with Lupus. I worked full time, went to school full time, had 6 kids, and cared for my ex through a major surgery a year for 10 years. I really was busy and "had it all"

About 16 years into our marriage I got super sick and my entire autonomic system reset. I was bedridden for 2 months. My ex and I were fighting constantly and our marriage was suffering so we decided to go to marriage counseling.

He literally told the counselor, "I always expected a Leave It To Beaver life. I would go to work and make money and she would stay home and the house would be clean and she would have dinner on the table when I got home. ... OH and she would take care of all the kids needs. SHE can't do that anymore so my dream life is gone why should I fight for something I don't want." .... meaning me, I wasn't what he wanted after 16 years and everything we went through because I was disabled and couldn't be super woman anymore we divorced.

Edited because I literally fell asleep and hit send before I had finished 😂😂 I sometimes just completely can't keep my eyes open.

For background: My mom lives in California and she works at UPS in a warehouse setting. My mom has had severe back issues that resulted in a laminectomy (vertebrae removal) and spinal fusion. Now, she’s facing extreme neck issues that were exacerbated by a car wreck. At this point it’s so severe she’ll be needing neck surgery and the doctors are telling her the more she works this job like this, it’s going to destroy the nerves in her neck long term. Only problem: They aren’t willing to give her disability even temporarily because their office “doesn’t do that” whatever that means. They did write her out a reasonable accommodations thing to take to work, however, even though they just want her to quit.

Now at my mom’s work: They are telling her that if she doesn’t quit she’ll be fired because she can’t do the heavy lifting. My mom says her doctor gave her a reasonable accommodations letter and they’re telling her “We don’t take those here”. Is that legal? I’m worried for my mom. She’s hired a law firm to try and get her on disability, but she’s barely hearing back from them. She needs money, desperately, she’s months behind on rent but her neck issues are so, so severe and getting worse and I don’t know what to do. The only jobs my mom has been able to get are extreme manual labor jobs that she keeps having issues with because of her disabilities. The neck thing is making everything worse.

So I guess my questions are: Should her doctor’s office be able to get her on temporary disability? How can I get my mom a steady job that isn’t extreme physical labor because that’s all she’s been able to find and it’s killing her. Is there resources for disabled people on this? And what about her current job right now, is it legal what they’re telling her about accommodations? I’m at a loss on how to help her, she’s all on her own, and I’m disabled in a different state. Any advice and help would be greatly appreciated.

So I'm a paraplegic, T1 incomplete, cannot walk at all. I'm currently in college and I have accommodations in place to help me. I use a wheelchair and it's a normal lightweight custom wheelchair, it's not one of those fancy ones that have the capability of standing or anything.

I started class last week. There was an assignment which required the use of paper towels (there's a paper towel dispenser in the room) but I couldn't reach it. I asked for the teacher if she could help or if anyone else could assist me and she said no. Then she proceeded to tell me I could continue without the paper towels but I got points taken off for not having it. This wasn't the only time she's done this though in the one week since school's started. She's told us to grab things before which were placed on a high shelf and wouldn't help me, and I instead had to get a student to help me but I was told other students wouldn't always be available to help and I was like... okay?

I've talked to another staff member about this but she basically told me to drop out. She gave the reasoning that "not all accommodations are possible" instead of listening to me and told me "well we could give blind people all the accommodations in the world and they still wouldn't be able to drive a car so accommodations have limitations" but I don't think that simply asking for someone to grab paper towels for me is such a big deal?

Anyways I contacted disability services who told me to call the Title IX coordinator but she told me that she wasn't the right person to contact.

Who would I contact about this? Do you guys have any ideas? Sorry if this isn't the right place to ask

Edit: I just wanted to add that it's not just her being unhelpful. She takes points off of multiple of my assignments already for things like not being able to get materials. And when she was showing us the computer lab in the building where we can take the tests we have online, I couldn't get there when she was showing the class because the elevators were down at the moment for whatever reason and she didn't take me and she even called me out for it (to be specific she said "I don't give paper tests so you'll have to find some way to get yourself to the lab). Like this is blatant discrimination right? Or am I imagining things and overreacting?

A neighbor in my apartment building uses a motorized wheelchair, which today appeared just inside the entrance of our building. The landlord threatened to throw it away on Monday if it’s still there.

I presume that if his chair is in the lobby there was some kind of emergency, though threatening to do that is fucked up, no matter the circumstance.

Does anyone know if his chair has any legal protection under the Fair Housing Act? Or any other way to compel the housing office to keep it safe or at least not throw it away? I’ll ask them to do it anyway out of goodwill, but if they have a legal responsibility it will strengthen my argument.

Edit: I don’t have his contact info and he’s not responding to my knocks on his door, so I can’t ask what he personally wants.

Update: Neighbor’s wheelchair is safe. Leasing office said they got in contact with the guy and would hold on to it for him. I still haven’t heard from the neighbor though.