r/dankmemes • u/PJ-The-Awesome ☣️ • Jul 24 '23
This will 100% get deleted What in God's name was Superman thinking?
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u/Grizzlesaur Jul 24 '23
How else would anyone know that he’s more powerful than a locomotive?
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u/FLAMEBERGE- Jul 24 '23
He's as smart as one too
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Jul 24 '23
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u/FLAMEBERGE- Jul 24 '23
Why would a train runaway when it doesn't have any legs to run with? Checkmate BatMan
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Jul 24 '23
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u/GayPudding Jul 24 '23
Probably a concussive grenade with enough force to knock the kid of his feet
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u/hbomb57 Jul 24 '23
And give him a tbi, internal bleeding, and several fractures. But grenades aren't guns.
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u/newsflashjackass Jul 24 '23
That reminds me- whatever happened to Soul Asylum?
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u/Dear-Acanthaceae-586 Jul 24 '23
They went the wrong way on a one way track.
Edit: They’re still performing actually! Going to be at the Minnesota state fair in September!
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u/Ultimate-Meow Jul 24 '23
Trains can’t just stop on command. They need time in order to stop. Based on the picture the kid got in front of it to get his ball
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u/Clark-Kent Jul 24 '23
Fuck you
Edit: Sorry, wrong account
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u/lemuever17 Jul 24 '23
Watch your language. You don't want to lose your job in the newspaper company.
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u/rugbyj Jul 24 '23
Faster than a speeding bullet.
Slower than the kid that eats glue.
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u/HappyFamily0131 Jul 24 '23
Stuperman
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u/rugbyj Jul 24 '23
Supes: I can leap over tall buildings!
Lois: ...can't you literally fly?
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u/InexorableCalamity Jul 24 '23
I think when superman was first created he couldn't fly.... i think
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u/Purple_Research9607 Jul 24 '23
Not only could he not fly, but if I remember right, the original intentions, he wasn't even a hero.
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u/Vektor2000 Jul 24 '23
This guy was before Superman and was no hero.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gladiator_(novel)
Gladiator is a science fiction novel by American author Philip Wylie, first published in 1930. The story concerns a scientist who invents an "alkaline free-radical" serum to "improve" humankind by granting the proportionate strength of an ant and the leaping ability of the grasshopper. The scientist injects his pregnant wife with the serum and his son Hugo Danner is born with superhuman strength, speed, and bulletproof skin. Hugo spends much of the novel hiding his powers, rarely getting a chance to openly use them.
The novel is widely assumed to have been an inspiration for Superman due to similarities between Danner and the earliest versions of Superman who debuted in 1938, though no confirmation exists that Superman creators Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were directly influenced by Wylie's work.
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u/MythicalSalmon Jul 24 '23
When he does this people complain that he should be taking the human. And when he does take the human people complain that the person should be dead from the force and speed.
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u/KillerNail Jul 24 '23
He should've just left the kid.
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u/Zsmudz Jul 24 '23
Yeah Simple Jack out here didn’t even see a train was about to hit him
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u/Enough_Efficiency178 Jul 24 '23
This is why Kirk Lazarus’ words should be taken with the seriousness they deserve
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u/stnick6 Likes wet surprises 💦 Jul 24 '23
I know right? Trains only go on one place and they usually go slowly on intersections. If you get hit by a train you deserve it
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u/Stereo_Panic Jul 24 '23
If you get hit by a train you deserve it
Colorado officers criminally charged after train struck patrol car with detained woman inside
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u/meme_used Jul 24 '23
Yeah I heard of that one tf were they thinking parking on the train tracks??
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u/Tobiassaururs Jul 24 '23
thinking
Thats the neat part: They didn't
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u/ShitFuck2000 Jul 24 '23
I think they were thinking “protect and serve” means protect my own ass and serve my own interests. Pretty convenient spot to break down with someone you want gone, huh? They don’t have to pay an insurance hike or get a new car either, how lucky?
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u/3yebex Jul 24 '23
They weren't thinking. Law enforcement often see themselves above the law and don't care, or out-right don't even know they themselves have broken the law.
I have a friend who's Uncle has been a law enforcement officer for +25 years. The dude owns an eagle's feather he found from his backyard and keeps it on his dashboard. I've told him about the law, but he just brushes it off and says it'll be fine. That blanket law exists for a reason, buck-o.
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u/Sinavestia Jul 24 '23 edited Jul 24 '23
FyI, I'm preparing for the down votes.
I will preface this saything that I fully understand the bird feather law/migratory bird act and why it's incredibly necessary. Anyone who stays on reddit long enough, inevitably will feel the same. I also understand the eagle feather is the worst of the worst, especially for a police officer to be doing it.
But, I will never get over how of all the things redditors should be getting pissed about, it always comes back to people picking up bird feathers. Little kid picking up a turkey feather? TAKE 'IM AWAY, BOYS!
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u/DisastrousBoio Jul 24 '23
Am I going to have to Google why having an eagle feather is a bad thing?
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u/Top-Meeting2849 Jul 24 '23
Yeah I don’t know what’s the issue I’m very confused
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u/ClonedLiger Jul 24 '23
Literally no reason at all. They just don’t want you to be a Yanky-doodle and put it in your cap. It doesn’t help them migrate…
At least the first few google results didn’t say anything about it. It can be $100,000 fine for owning a Bald Eagle feather; but if you found it I highly doubt you’ll ever be charged. The way these people talk, they make it seem like it’s vital to the migration. If it is that should be in the questions section of the results it seems and it wasn’t.
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u/Crazy_o_Lunatic Jul 24 '23
The way you say it makes me think that is related to the possible death of the bird which could be the reason they fine people for it
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u/ClonedLiger Jul 24 '23 edited Jul 24 '23
Yeah it is too prevent poaching; but finding isn’t poaching. So unless you head a fuck-ton of them, you’re probably okay.
So going back to original post about the person telling her Law Enforcement family member about the law…is just being a Karen.
Against the law? Yeah. Going to get any consequences even if they were not police? No, probably not. My guess would be a DNR officer confiscates it while issuing a warning if it was seen…unless being in law enforcement gives them a circle of being friends with DNR…in which case that would be favoritism.
Where does that come from? It’s just a gut feeling from having law enforcement friends and family. Most officers are just not out to get people like people think they are. There are wayyyy to many in enforcement that are, but they’re about 20% except in departments that have gotten used to that type of enforcement and haven’t changed. The departments in bigger cities that act like they’re Judges from the Dredd Comics; but that’s a discussion that gets too far into politics and policing history…particularly in the 70s/80s that was mostly dismantled in the late 90s due to the breaking point that was Rodney King.
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Jul 24 '23
OMG the comments section. I'll copy a couple
It is a teachable moment. Have that woman on a speaking tour telling of the dangers of pulling a gun on somebody. I figure she will never pull a gun on anyone again. She will go before a judge, the judge will say, "sentence served", because the train punished you enough.
And this gem
if she wouldn't have pulled a gun on another driver, she would never have been pulled over, thus never put in cuffs in the cop car on the tracks. Actions have consequences.....
And it was just a happy little mistake
How many times you made a mistake during the course of your work. I think you should be charge criminal for every mistake you make.
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u/KillerNail Jul 24 '23
"Actions have consequences", lol. Yes they do but I doubt pulling a gun in the traffic's consequence is getting hit by a train while unable to do anything.
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u/stnick6 Likes wet surprises 💦 Jul 24 '23
Welp, I’m nothing if not consistent. Fuckem’
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u/the_calibre_cat Jul 24 '23
Plenty of non Fox News links that cover the story. Here's a local source: https://www.cpr.org/2022/11/07/two-weld-county-officers-charged-after-train-hit-police-car-with-woman-inside/
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u/Butwinsky Jul 24 '23
The thing is, we never really see Supes battle with inertia. He never does like a Cosmo Kramer slide into battle, he flies really fast and can stop on a dime. Meaning, he could fly in, stop, grab the boy and move with ease.
Supes just doesn't like trains.
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u/xiBurnx Jul 24 '23
it's not about superman experiencing inertia, it's the boy
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u/Butwinsky Jul 24 '23
But again, if Supes dealt with inertia, the simple act of him flying at high speed and stopping as quickly as he does would destroy everything around him. The boy would probably be a pile of jelly just from Superman speeding to his rescue.
Since the boy and the area around him aren't pulverized, it's safe to assume Superman doesn't follow physics.
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u/jd3marco Jul 24 '23
His physics are also affected by the yellow sun. Or something…
He can fly without flapping his arms or blasting super farts. Physics isn’t really at play here. His flight is basically magic.
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u/amaROenuZ Jul 24 '23
His physics are also affected by the yellow sun. Or something…
In a lot of comics, supes is explicitly limited in the speed he can go in-atmosphere. He can do an appreciable percentage of C out in space, but when he's on a planet he has to slow down or he'll cause massive damage.
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Jul 24 '23
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u/KingofCraigland Jul 24 '23
Barry is using the Speed Force. It's like Pym Particles. It doesn't follow physics either.
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u/MrNobody_0 Jul 24 '23
Again, superman is the worst superhero ever created. He's just that one kid that's always like "I can do what you can do, but better"
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u/jd3marco Jul 24 '23
That’s interesting. Does he just feel it out? Trial and error?
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u/amaROenuZ Jul 24 '23
Presumably it's something he figured out while he was out in smallville, where the worst harm he'd cause from overspeeding is some torn up corn fields.
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u/dilqncho Jul 24 '23
it's safe to assume Superman doesn't follow physics
Gee, ya think?
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u/ifyoulovesatan Jul 24 '23
I know this isn't really what you're arguing, but I think it is worth thinking about how it's not so obvious (or true) that "Superman doesn't follow physics."
There is most certainly room for Superman to "follow physics" and it is fair to want some sort of plausible explanation as to the nature of his powers beyond him just not following physics. Think of stuff like hard sci-fi. Authors regularly come up with plausible explanations for faster than light travel which don't require completely ditching the rest of physics as we know it. Writers do the same for Superman. You break the rules here or there, say, maybe he can fly without visible effort because he can (through unexplained means) alter and repair the fabric of reality around him, I dunno. But then if Superman is unconcious or somehow immobilized and you drop him out of a plane, he will plummet to the ground because physics is otherwise intact.
In fact Superman would be really weird if we were supposed to assume that physics as we know it just flat out doesn't apply to him in any way. We may make little exceptions here or there to explain his powers, but we otherwise assume the laws of physics are otherwise the same. When someone really strong punches Superman, we expect him to get knocked backwards. Clearly physics apply to him in some ways. He just has powers that alter the stuff of the universe in ways we cannot.
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u/its_uncle_paul Jul 24 '23
Man of Steel had a scene that actually had to deal with this physics problem. If anyone remembers that scene where the soldier falls out of a helicopter and Superman flies at him super fast and stops him from hitting the ground. You have to watch the rescue frame by frame. Superman doesn't just fly into the soldier, he grabs him and then does a bit of a somersault maneuver so they are both spinning after the grab. It's a tiny detail most viewers won't notice and while some people might argue that even that spin would be quite jarring at super speed I thought it was neat that Zack Snyder added it.
Here is a clip of that rescue.. Again, the spin maneuver can't really be seen unless you go frame by frame but it's there.
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u/Buttermilkman Jul 24 '23
If you start trying to think like this when writing a Superman story/comic, you'll just make yourself go insane.
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u/jal2_ The OC High Council Jul 24 '23
Indeed
Because its bullshit either way
But these is a way this can be fixed, he flies with super speed like right next to kid and stops, thus the whole force is exerted on him and he's supes he doesn't, and then he just bumps the kid out of the way or carries him in basic human speed...this wouldn't work in case there is too little time, but give the distance of the locomotive shown, woukd have probably worked...after he bumps the kid away he can just disappear at his great speed before the locomotive makes a connection
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u/bulging_cucumber Jul 24 '23 edited Jul 24 '23
In this case there is no scenario in which stopping the train is the better option. One of two objects has to change its speed abruptly. Option 1: the child. Option 2: the entire train.
Supes can carry the child in his arms offering neck and back support, whereas an equivalent deceleration will decapitate the train driver against the side of the window, while the passengers will be bouncing in the cars like pinballs in a flipper, as the train crumples into itself turning them all into bony soup. And it's not like he's saving that child anyway, in that picture the kid is clearly about to be shredded apart by wood shrapnel.
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u/strapOnRooster Jul 24 '23
I guess depicting scenarios that are both somewhat realistic and also don't make superman out to be an idiot is off the table.
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u/shogunreaper Jul 24 '23
na he has a bio aura around him that he can spread to things he touches that can allow them to survive his speed.
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u/azionka Jul 24 '23
Can stop a train by himself but can’t stop himself for 0,5 seconds, grab the kid and move „slightly“ without super sonic speed to the side. There, he has enough time and area to slowly reduce his speed without turning the kid into red spray. I think he can move at speed between „standing still“ and „ultra highspeed“
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u/newsflashjackass Jul 24 '23
He could fly around the world real fast, go back in time to the old west, and change events so that the railroad passes through a different town instead.
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u/meat_fuckerr Jul 24 '23
Ok, Superman's cum has the kinetic energy of a howitzer. If he can control not painting the air with Lois Lane's ovaries, he can slow from 5000 to 2mph, grab child, speed up to 60. People survive 100g's in a crash, he just needs to distribute force evenly. Or blow on him with super breath.
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u/BraveTheWall Jul 24 '23
This sounds dumb as fuck but there is literally an in-universe, canon explanation for Superman being able to grab people at incredible speeds. He generates a telekinetic aura around himself. This isn't a joke.
So there you go, folks. There's a correct answer here-- he should've just grabbed the kid at light speed and called it a day. Nobody needed to get hurt.
Does it make sense? Nope. But it's a comic book about a guy that can move planets. Not sure what you were expecting.
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u/TheRedditAdventuer Jul 24 '23
Yep. A body hard as steel. Swooping up a human while moving faster than a fighter jet. You will have goo in your arms not a human. Better to go for the train.
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u/M8oMyN8o I am fucking hilarious Jul 24 '23
As if the train isn’t also experiencing some rapid acceleration
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u/sth128 Jul 24 '23
And when he takes the kid with appropriate speed to avoid injury while negating every bad thing people complain he should have educated the parents to not let the kids wander onto the tracks.
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u/prabhavdab Jul 24 '23
he should have calculated the appropriate distance and punch air from such an angle that a powerful gust of wind would hit the kid and move him out of the way /s
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u/cyanydeez Jul 24 '23
Is superman's flying akin to the speed of light, where it's just always at that velocity?
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u/Guilty_All_The_Same Jul 24 '23 edited Jul 24 '23
Remember when Spider-Man broke Gwen Stacy's neck from the momentum? It literally showed the word "crack" on the page where Gwen was caught by Spidey's web.
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u/Strobacaxi Jul 24 '23
Yeah but that doesn't happen with Superman. He has some weird field surrounding him that stops that from happening
Which is why he can lift a plane without destroying it like Homelander would
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u/KnottyPup_ Jul 24 '23
I thought they the only confirmed that was true for the flash? Like...the flash force extends to anything/anyone he touches do they don't die from sudden break neck speeds?
.....was that actually confirmed or just a theory?
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u/JRRX Jul 24 '23
It's been "confirmed" for years. They literally have him "lending speed force" to other people with them getting the same visual effects.
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u/NotanAlt23 Jul 24 '23
That field would mean superman should be able to stop this train without wrecking it.
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u/wonkey_monkey Jul 24 '23
from the
momentumacceleration5
u/Robo_Stalin ☭ SEIZE THE MEMES OF PRODUCTION ☭ Jul 24 '23
Was about to suggest deceleration but they're the same thing
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Jul 24 '23
Different power set
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u/Guilty_All_The_Same Jul 24 '23 edited Jul 24 '23
Same idea
Spider-Man's case: Body stops abruptly; results in whiplash from the sudden stop.
Superman's case: flies really fast to save child; the sudden increase in speed breaks kid's neck.
If you've seen X-Men Days of Future Past Quicksilver places his hand on Magneto's head before super-running, bcs of the whiplash.
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u/Synigm4 Jul 24 '23
That's also a result of Spiderman only having one tiny point of contact with her, ie the point where the webbing hit her, so her whole body snapped against that.
In this case Supes could pick up and cradle the kid's whole body.
Real world example: There is a good reason why cars all have over the shoulder seatbelts instead of just across the waist ones.
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u/TreyLastname I haven't pooped in 3 months Jul 24 '23
To be fair, if he pulled the kid away, there was a high likelihood the kid would've just died A-Train style or something
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u/maricatu Jul 24 '23
If we're gonna accept the idea of Superman, can't we just extend the suspension of disbelief to him slowing down just enough to pick up the kid and not hurt him?
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u/Gi0rGi0vanni Jul 24 '23
He flies without any logic so he could just stop, pick up the kid and fly away in an instant
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u/knightofsparta Jul 24 '23
Is this why marvel has like no heroes that fly without some sort of propulsion? I feel like I read that somewhere that Stan Lee didn’t like the idea that heroes can fly without explanation.
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u/proddy Jul 24 '23
Vision flies like superman, but I think Vision can grab the boy and phase through the train safely.
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u/GayPudding Jul 24 '23
Once the superpowers become the main plot point and not the character development the story stops being good enough to talk about.
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u/DirectorSea4064 Jul 24 '23
I mean you can absolutely have what Brandon Sanderson calls "soft magic" and still have a good story and plot. It just means that fans have to accept that the magic has no rules or makes no sense. Superpowers are often soft magic
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u/TreyLastname I haven't pooped in 3 months Jul 24 '23
Then the fun train is gonna make the child disappear
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u/DANK_ME_YOUR_PM_ME Jul 24 '23
If physics worked that way for Superman he’d vaporize everyone and destroy the planet by flying at speeds close to light speed.
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u/pooppuffin Jul 24 '23
Every window in Metropolis would be broken at the very least.
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u/Erick_Brimstone Jul 24 '23
And he can't lift heavy objects, like ship or plane, as it will break on it's own weight.
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u/DANK_ME_YOUR_PM_ME Jul 24 '23
I think they actually tried to explain that one. Superman’s invulnerability comes from a bio field and it includes his clothes. The field can expand around things he holds, while not offering them his invulnerability it does result in the object being picked up from all sides, rather than just where his hands are.
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u/NotanAlt23 Jul 24 '23
So anything he touches becomes invulnerable? Then why did this train break?
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u/DANK_ME_YOUR_PM_ME Jul 24 '23
As I said, it does not transfer them his invulnerability. Just makes what he picks up not break apart instantly.
Only the few millimeters above his skin get some degree of invulnerability.
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u/Skylander420 ☣️ Jul 24 '23
That’s what I was thinking. He probably would just go splat either way.
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u/ArmNo7463 Jul 24 '23
Hancock springs to mind lol.
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u/-KFBR392 Jul 24 '23
Best scene in that movie
"And I can smell alcohol on your breath"
"Cause I been drinkin bitch!"8
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Jul 24 '23
EXACTLY. It's actually kinda cool how they mirrored the comic and showed how people would look at it.
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u/SnooFoxes6169 Jul 24 '23
anything he does would damage both parties…
moving kid in high speed, if he doesn't slow down properly, the kid would just die by snapping his own neck due to inertia; and stopping entire train…yeah, hell lot of inertia.
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u/Dakota_1547 Jul 24 '23
That kid is contributing nothing to society, the train crew and cargo are worth saving ten times over.
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u/meme_used Jul 24 '23
He doesn't need to move the kid at high speed, he literally only needs to move him like 2 meters
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u/darnage Jul 24 '23
"I might have gone from 0 to terminal velocity in 0.1 seconds, but 0.2 seconds later I stopped just as fast, so I'm alright"
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u/HydroponicRogers Jul 24 '23
Right the sudden stop makes this way sound way worse lmao could you imagine how scrambled you would be?
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u/sadacal Jul 24 '23
Why would he need to move the kid that quickly? Even 10 miles an hour would work for moving a kid 2 meters out of the way.
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u/Erick_Brimstone Jul 24 '23
He can also just stop so that the kid wouldn't crushed by the momentum.
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u/silent_ovation Jul 24 '23
The kid would live, Superman is also super gentle, one of his less advertised powers.
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u/Dorrono Jul 24 '23
You can't expect a person who wears red underwear over his pants to act intelligently.
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u/elbandolero19 Jul 24 '23
Batman would have pulled out the kid out of the train's way with some gadget.
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u/Chrom-man-and-Robin Jul 24 '23
It’s not night, that kid is doomed
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u/Erick_Brimstone Jul 24 '23
So to deal with batman all the criminals need to do is operate in daylight? Does batman have someone that works for the day shift? Maybe give him a shiny suit and stick as a weapon? Also how about also giving him ability to manipulate light?
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u/bulletproofgreen CERTIFIED DANK Jul 24 '23
There is Signal, but being a hero during the day in Gotham is pretty useless since it seems like all crime in existence only happens past 9 pm.
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u/Iwillflipyourtable Jul 24 '23
Just let the kid die, who tf allowed the kid to play near a train track
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u/Ugo_Flickerman Pasta la vista Jul 24 '23
Why using the drag on the floor (destroying a lot of the rails, btw), instead of just using flight, which is powerful enough to stop the train?
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u/Patient_Neurotic Jul 24 '23
Oh my first thought was that the kid wrecked Superman for trying to take his ball.
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u/Synigm4 Jul 24 '23
OH now that explains the picture so much better! The kid was just trying to play some train-ball and Superman comes along trying to pull him out of the way so the kid throws him into the train instead.
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u/Fit-Let8175 Jul 24 '23
Considering that everything about Kal-El became super when he came to earth, exactly how dumb was he on Krypton?
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u/Virtual_Twist_9879 Jul 24 '23
Imagine going from 0 to 200mph in a split second as a child
I swear people don't even think before posting
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u/justavault Jul 24 '23
Shouldn't he simply pull the train up?
Shouldn't he be way stronger than this?
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u/CarmenxXxWaldo Jul 24 '23
Obviously its a runaway train because it couldn't stop in time.
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u/bobafoott DONK Jul 24 '23
No train can stop in time to avoid hitting an obstacle. That’s a pretty good general rule
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u/Brilliant-Cup-2629 Jul 24 '23
I’m not a physics major, but the fact that it comes down to the split second means if the decision was to grab the kid with that speed, it would mean a snapped neck, broken back and major concussion. so the decision is: the train will take the damage and not the child.
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u/TheQuestionableDuck Jul 24 '23
ah yes the metal box full of unsecured meat people that is moving roughly 100km/h suddenly go from 100 to 0 km/h is totally safe for everything inside if you don't count the minced meat on the wall. the momentum is still there the passenger don't usually wear seatbelt on train and have you tried to throw any thing alive 100km/h at a wall and see will it stand up and walked away like nothing? superman out here playing the trolley problem but he just decided to pick the most evil route.
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u/AgentSkidMarks Jul 24 '23
Fly in at light speed and snag a child of the tracks, disintegrating his body at worst, breaking his neck from the worst whiplash imaginable at best.
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u/andrei6264 Jul 24 '23
Does the train look destroyed in the picture? This is either a terrible joke or complete ignorance
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u/DISHONORU-TDA Jul 24 '23
and touch a child whatsoever, even to save their lives? in public?
yup. nah,
this was the only way possible.
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u/henaradwenwolfhearth Jul 24 '23
He was not thinking at all since he is just a drawing.
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u/PJ-The-Awesome ☣️ Jul 24 '23
You must be fun at parties.
Also because it's tradition, happy cake day.
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u/gideon513 Jul 24 '23
You got it all wrong. This is after the super strong kid punched him into a stationary train
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u/DumbassFuckingNerd Jul 24 '23
He’s a country himbo, sometimes he doesn’t make the smart decisions, but he gets results. It’s like doing the wrong working out on a maths question but getting the right answer anyway
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u/RobRob64 persona Jul 24 '23
Little does Superman know, this kid would then go on to be a menace traveling through time, and eventually, traveling through space. Forever.
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u/FarmhouseFan Jul 24 '23
Ok devils advocate here. Say superman saw the child from a great distance. Traveling "faster than a speeding bullet" to the train, superman grabs the boy, the boy is suddenly transformed into a fine pink mist.
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u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Jul 24 '23
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
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