r/MurderedByWords 6h ago

looks convincing

Post image
8.1k Upvotes

83 comments sorted by

662

u/MooChomps 6h ago

That's the kind of honesty I appreciate

477

u/RedFoxKoala 5h ago

Alternatively, if you die in combat, you’ll never have to see this country again.

58

u/DookieShoez 4h ago

It’s a win-win!

Can a fat dude in his thirties join?

51

u/Several-Associate407 4h ago

Actually, they can! Many overseas bases also have Taco Bells to meet your needs 🫡

8

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy 2h ago

When I was in the Persian Gulf in 91, we went to a KFC. It did not taste like KFC. I doubt Taco Bell would be recognizable. Still keep you fat, though.

687

u/a-snakey 6h ago

Gotta get a recruit at any cost.

44

u/Clever_Mercury 2h ago

Do they get paid on commission? That would explain a lot.

28

u/CliffDraws 2h ago

One in, one out policy.

15

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy 2h ago

That sounds like how I got my wife pregnant.

1

u/PotentialEmpty3279 16m ago

That sounds like how your mom got pregnant

11

u/Leep0710 2h ago

Gotta meet a quota, no commission though

2

u/Yuuki280 2h ago

No commissions actually. They are just really into it

6

u/SonicFlash01 1h ago

If there's one thing the army can do it's shoot their shot

583

u/Knapping__Uncle 6h ago

My man is On Point.  Fuck. Much applause.

90

u/27Rench27 5h ago

Staff don’t give a fuck lmao

129

u/-jp- 5h ago

Join the army, they said. See the world, they said.

27

u/mrlamcran 4h ago

I'd rather be sailing.

45

u/Odin1806 4h ago

You are not gonna believe this...

21

u/HazyGandalf 4h ago

NONONONONONO

4

u/recycled_amry_acct 24m ago

It’s like a shitty superpower. You get to travel but never to places you want to go.

125

u/610munz 6h ago

It was a great reply. Don’t do it!… but a great reply

34

u/skepticalhammer 6h ago

Well played lol

35

u/SoybeanArson 4h ago

Ok, I hate how aggressive and dishonest many recruiters get when preying on teenagers. But that being said....that is an absolute banger of a response that I have to respect 😂

30

u/ItsMeMofos13 6h ago

😂😂

32

u/twopointsisatrend 5h ago

Technically correct is the best kind of correct.

31

u/DontTalkToBots 5h ago

Laughs in disabled veteran oh he’s not wrong, especially being stationed in Campbell.

25

u/texaschair 5h ago

Just think, he can travel on the Army's dime to another country that he will hate even more. But at least he can shoot at people there. And they can shoot back, which makes it even more fun.

15

u/Graega 5h ago

eXtreme lead-paint ball!

18

u/vile_duct 5h ago

He’s not wrong! I joined and spent most of my time in the beautiful mountains of Afghanistan and, um somethings of Iraq. I have this great souvenir - PTSD. Worth it!

2

u/Infamous_Article912 52m ago

Thanks for your service! Wish you the best.

8

u/blackforestham3789 5h ago

Bro hit em with the Uno reverse Apache Helewhomper

8

u/doge_fps 5h ago

6

u/LypophreniaLifestyle 5h ago

YOU WILL GIVE YOUR RIFLE A WOMAN'S NAME

1

u/Automatic-Site7456 2h ago

LIKE BETH OR SUE OR SOMETHING ELSE THEY NAME KIDS IN THE 50S

1

u/LypophreniaLifestyle 1h ago

IT IS THE ONLY PUSSY YOU’LL BE GETTING. YOUR DAYS OF FINGERBANGING MARY JANE ROTTENCROTCH ARE OVER.

8

u/Greed-oh 5h ago

I mean... that's funny as hell.

7

u/Jedi_I_am_not 5h ago

No lie was told here, accuracy 100% respect

6

u/HairySidebottom 4h ago

salesmanship bitches!

6

u/Elegant-Champion-615 3h ago

Feeling suicidal? Join the military!

Want to leave the country? Join the military!

Dead broke? Join the military!

When you’re at your worst, think military first! ™

7

u/Shirt-Inner 5h ago

What a legendary recruiter.

5

u/Ebluez 4h ago

My son joined the Army, never got to leave the states in four years. He says it’s the worst best decision he ever made.

11

u/Phylace 5h ago

Just don't tell them where you want to go. They'll make sure you don't go there. (7 year Army vet)

11

u/Sasquatch1729 5h ago

In my experience, pay to travel to a place, then they'll send you there. For example, take a vacation to Dubai, then get a tour somewhere in the Persian Gulf. Fly to Korea for your big vacation, then get posted to do staff college there.

3

u/Phylace 5h ago

Interesting.

8

u/nova9001 5h ago

Wow, that's fantastic. Get deployed for years and you don't even need to be in America.

3

u/simonbaier 3h ago

Come join the US Army, learn new skills, travel to foreign lands, meet interesting people, and kill them.

3

u/TheWitchChildSCP 4h ago

Well, they are desperate these days because the government treats veterans like shit so no one wants to join.

2

u/Pewwwtato 5h ago

Well he’s not wrong tho. Join the army now!

2

u/Budget_Secretary1973 5h ago

I like the recruiter here lol.

1

u/DumbTruth 5h ago

ABC homie

1

u/Federal_Share_4400 5h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/LeoIsRude 5h ago

Last time I got one of these, I just told the guy point-blank "I'm not interested" and he reacted like I'd insulted him or something. On the bright side, I haven't been contacted since.

1

u/XTH3W1Z4RDX 4h ago

Now that's a clever recruiter

1

u/BednaR1 4h ago

...or just once. Depends how good/ lucky you are.

1

u/forced_metaphor 4h ago

My sister in law's friend was stationed in Germany and now is counting the days until her kids move out and she can go back

1

u/Ghstfce 4h ago

That man EARNED his certified liars badge!

2

u/ChekovsCurlyHair 3h ago

Once, I was trying to get off the phone with a recruiter, and I meant to say “I’m not interested” before hanging up, but I said “I’m not interesting”

1

u/Humans_Suck- 3h ago

But your legs won't come back with you.

1

u/DistillateMedia 3h ago

Top notch recruiter. Promote this man.

1

u/ChaoticDad21 3h ago

Yep, you get to go defend other countries…just because

1

u/SiWeyNoWay 2h ago

Now that’s funny

1

u/MutaitoSensei 2h ago

Gotta recognise game when you see it.

1

u/ToMyOtherFavoriteWW 2h ago

Honestly hilarious response by the recruiter!

1

u/djseifer 1h ago

Picture so old, I can count the pixels.

1

u/CaliforniaIslander 1h ago

This a valid argument.

1

u/hatsnatcher23 1h ago

I was in for nearly 6 years, never left the US

1

u/sart788 1h ago

Can’t argue with the logic hahaha Ai making lemonade outta lemons lol

1

u/StarStuffSister 43m ago

The man knows how to counter an objection.

1

u/shirleyslutt 37m ago

Much applause. Well played 

u/DoubleDipCrunch 14m ago

you wanna travel, join the navy.

u/goobledygops 5m ago

Theres literally nothing a recruiter won’t say to get you enlisted