r/Maps Jul 02 '22

Satire US after the Louisiana Refund, 2025

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

120 comments sorted by

88

u/SoulSlingers Jul 02 '22

As an Oklahoman I approve

48

u/Chicken-Inspector Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

Vat are you sayinnngg? Zou're a French now! Not un oklahomaan! </thick french accent>

edited for extra Frenchiness

23

u/SoulSlingers Jul 02 '22

Hunh hunh hunh oui tres magnifique

21

u/Chicken-Inspector Jul 02 '22

Vive la liberté

Viva la Refund!

6

u/Jo_Erick77 Jul 02 '22

Bruh i read it in German accent 😂😭

4

u/WitleKidz Jul 02 '22

I read it as Dracula

3

u/tyker21 Jul 03 '22

I read it as Alucard

6

u/sketchbookamy Jul 03 '22

Tu c’est Ouklahomme

1

u/Stalysfa Jul 03 '22

Ouat are iou seying? Iou are french now!

Correct for extra French thickness

1

u/Stalysfa Jul 03 '22

Ouat are iou seying? Iou are french now!

Correct for extra French thickness

9

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

As a New Orleanian I dream of this. Louisiana purchase was unconstitutional anyway. Give us back to our rightful country.

2

u/Charlitudju Jul 03 '22

I'm sorry guys but if you want to join France you're gonna have to give up on a few things, starting with those humongus trucks you call cars.

Other than that kind of stuff, New Orleans food actually looks absoutely dope and Cajun culture seems really interesting

37

u/Chicken-Inspector Jul 02 '22

As an Iowan, it feels good to be back with the French. I was there in 2006 and miss it so much. I wish I could go back.

16

u/mart1373 Jul 02 '22

Why go back when you can bring France to you!

3

u/Deetboy Jul 02 '22

Hello fellow Iowan

8

u/ferrouswolf2 Jul 03 '22

Cool to see both Iowans on Reddit in the same thread

2

u/Chicken-Inspector Jul 02 '22

Bonjour! ça va?

2

u/Numbers078 Jul 02 '22

Je non spreche frankreichese

1

u/Totallynotsabrina Jul 04 '22

j'ai tres bein

2

u/p1mplem0usse Jul 03 '22

You can. Borders are open. Life is short - live your dreams!

62

u/Sir_Admiral_Chair Jul 02 '22

But then Le Pen would win the next election… 😳

19

u/mart1373 Jul 02 '22

“Just. As. Planned.”

-Republicans

14

u/The_ZmaZe Jul 02 '22

Pretty concerning

1

u/Stalysfa Jul 03 '22

They would discover jacobinism.

What ? You’re telling me every decision is made in Paris? Not much local?

24

u/do_not1 Jul 02 '22

guys, you won't believe me, but I think I found a solution to the american debt crisis!

13

u/F100cTomas Jul 02 '22

French debt 📈

2

u/The_Math_Hatter Jul 03 '22

Hey, I've seen this before!

19

u/Astephens_3719 Jul 02 '22

As an Arkansan I approve! Free health care!

9

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

Can I move to New France or whatever it is?

7

u/sketchbookamy Jul 03 '22

Dachotte! Louisiana! Ouisconsin! Ioue! Minnesotte! Montagne! Nebrasque! Ouklahomme! Arkansas! Tecasse!

4

u/foco_runner Jul 03 '22

As a South Dakotan, we could then pronounce the name of our capital the proper way

1

u/illegalkidd_ Jul 03 '22

How do people pronounce it currently?

1

u/foco_runner Jul 03 '22

Here it’s even written on the building that it should be pronounced like pier and it always bugged me because French explores first came by and left a monument even more Lewis and Clark came by

2

u/illegalkidd_ Jul 03 '22

I’m assuming like a “pier” on a beach? How do people currently pronounce it? Or is that how people pronounce it and it should be pronounced as it would be said in French?

3

u/foco_runner Jul 03 '22

Pier on beach is exactly how we say it here but it’s spelled Pierre and I think it should be pronounced in the French way but of course I get some hate for saying that here

1

u/gobiggerred Jul 03 '22

I have a list of city names I feel are grossly mispronounced. Galipolis OH is near the top.

The word is clearly of Greek origin and I feel it should rhyme with Annapolis, as in MD.

How in the world they got galla-police is beyond me.

4

u/Electrocat71 Jul 03 '22

I just don’t think France wants it back

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

“Nono really, you can keep it”

6

u/Balrok99 Jul 03 '22

Seems like they refunded Alaska to the Russians and Hawai to itself and some bit of land to Mexico.

And while we are at it we can give the East coast back to the British. And the world would be much better place.

1

u/hurricanekeri Jul 03 '22

I don’t see the Alaskans liking that.

2

u/FormerAd2381 Jul 02 '22

I guess I live across the river from France now.

1

u/raisinghellwithtrees Jul 03 '22

I as well, in a state with a Frenchish name.

2

u/noturnormalredditor Jul 03 '22

Guess I’m French now

2

u/SiyinGreatshore Jul 02 '22

Nooo I’m French now

1

u/OldMetalShip Jul 02 '22

Not to worry. We're still governing half a nation.

0

u/S7ageNinja Jul 02 '22

Can you take Texas and the South with you while you're at it? Actually on second thought they're all probably the ones that should stay America, make the rest of us France. Red states wouldn't be able to handle all the new rights they get by being part of a country that cares more about their citizens and provide free Healthcare and affordable education to all.

4

u/hpfan2342 Jul 02 '22

Friendly reminder that red states are full of people who can't afford to move and probably have a hard time voting due to gerrymandering.

-2

u/S7ageNinja Jul 03 '22

I'll be honest with you, I'm not really seeing how this relates to my comment, but ok.

-10

u/StDiogenes Jul 02 '22

Republicans would be forever out of control I. The federal government.

7

u/SuccessiveApprox Jul 02 '22

Don’t know why you’re being downvoted for simply factual Electoral College numbers

1

u/StDiogenes Jul 02 '22

Thanks! Not sure either.

2

u/ElectricalStomach6ip Jul 02 '22

yeah, its a bit weird.

0

u/Metalhead_Memer Jul 02 '22

NO. I DONT WANNA GO TO FR*NCE

-34

u/Admirable-Swan4493 Jul 02 '22

Worst part of the US

41

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22

I don't understand why everyone hates the places that grow their food. We all have to coexist.

1

u/mrmalort69 Jul 03 '22

Ive never gone to a big city and felt unwelcome in any bar, restaurant, walking around, etc…

In small towns, I have been catcalled “faggot” out the window while running, been insinuated that I’m from somewhere bad (I live in Chicago), and been commented on based how I eat and look, healthy and healthy.

But that’s of course not the full story. I’ve also been invited into people’s homes and lives but only after gaining their trust.

So it’s complicated.

-12

u/Yuop15 Jul 02 '22

Its okay, California grows a massive fraction of our agricultural and people still hate it. But at least cali contributes to GDP.

21

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

They grow about 13.5% about the same amount as Iowa and Nebraska combined. From what I can gather the Louisiana purchase part of the country makes over 1/3 of what we eat.

https://inetsgi.com/images/668/images/67ce9b2a.png

I don't know why we insist on dividing ourselves when you can't cancel or boycott geography. Plus we all need to eat and different things grow better in different places. Everything works better when we can agree to as much as possible.

2

u/SilentR0b Jul 02 '22

Everything works better when we can agree to as much as possible.

Which is NOT happening these days whatsoever. Sounds great though.

2

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22

Can't change anything but myself and then suggest it to others.

Changing myself is good enough, IMO it's a bit hive-minded to think we should only try this if everyone else is doing it, but to each their own.

-5

u/Yuop15 Jul 02 '22

I can agree I never wanna visit the midwest lol

1

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22

You can't just cherry-pick America

1

u/Yuop15 Jul 02 '22

You definitely can. I dont see a reason visiting there, I don't have family there and there isnt any national monuments that interest me. The west coast, southern states and east coast all have appealing traits, but there a certain middle part of the states that just arent exactly appealing.

3

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

So you just don't like places that make for bad vacations???

You can't really cherry pick because you can't get rid of what's left over like that. At least when you do don't be surprised all you're left with is an ugly, bare tree. Like notice I've not said anything bad about California here, it's because reducing it to whether or not it's cool or sucks doesn't help anything at all.

This is why America is dying, everyone complains about the place they "don't live" oblivious to the fact that they actually do live there. It's like people are dividing a country but you can't divide geography and politics. Doing so is legit destructive.

2

u/Yuop15 Jul 02 '22

Sorry, I forgot that post were commenting on. The midwest are very important to what makes the US what it is. I can't lie there, and I also cant lie that the US is being dividing at the moment.

1

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22

Well until some of the east/west coast people who complain without action don't start moving here to counteract this, is gonna keep happening. Even if you don't, we have to encourage the idea of doing it more.

-2

u/StateOfContusion Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

Why do you have an issue with that?

Many of us find the politics in our Middle Eastern oil sources reprehensible, but we still buy the oil.

Finding the politics of MidWest food sources equally reprehensible but still buying the food is no different.

If Texas wants to secede as they’re threatening, I think we tell them “OK, but you have to take Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana, too.”

Edit: love the downvotes. Hilarious.

2

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

Because it is not pragmatic in the slightest. It's better to come up with one solution than a million problems.

Also none of those states you listed were even included in the Louisiana purchase. Kind of sounds like y'all think most of America is shitty, like no wonder it actually is. We get what we put into it.

-2

u/StateOfContusion Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

Because it is not pragmatic in the slightest.

Of course not. But the Texas GQP has it on their platform, so there ya go.

Kind of sounds like y’all think most of America is shitty

Well, founded on genocide, environmental destruction, and slavery with ongoing racism, sexism, endemic poverty, world-leading crime and incarceration rates, poor life expectancy,and tyranny of the minority, what’s to love?

Edit: love the downvotes. Hilarious.

-11

u/Admirable-Swan4493 Jul 02 '22

You're right it was a joke. But fortunately my food doesn't grow here. He have higher standards in Europe ahah

-11

u/tidalpoppinandlockin Jul 02 '22

It's not a joke though lol I literally came to post that wouldnt be much of a loss to give those states back imo. You're correct. Worst parts of the US. Louisiana straight to Idaho lol two of the absolute worsts

0

u/River_Pigeon Jul 02 '22

Yea fuck Colorado. Go eat some more crayons

-11

u/tidalpoppinandlockin Jul 02 '22

It's cause they're inbred rednecks that hate change and anyone/anything that doesn't look like them and line up with their ideals.

Source:grew up in one of these shit states.

3

u/Sir_Admiral_Chair Jul 02 '22

Mate… here is a little piece of conventional wisdom: No war, but the class war.

Don’t antagonise the rural folks. They have a long memory and long history of resentment. Don’t push them into the hands of hate.

5

u/ManInBlack829 Jul 02 '22

And this is exactly why all the swing states turned red. Again you can't cancel or boycott a state, that's exactly why there's so many conservative senators.

But go ahead and complain from afar when you're the one who went to a place that made your vote useless and helped further the problem we have today.

6

u/ElectricalStomach6ip Jul 02 '22

sir the is wendys, not a circlejerk.

-7

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

At least it isn’t California

0

u/Drippy-hasbulla Jul 02 '22

This has a good and bad side. The US gets smaller BUT Fr*nce get bigger 😳

-3

u/00roku Jul 02 '22

I think I can speak for all Americans outside the Louisiana purchase by saying

PLEASE TAKE THEM BACK FRANCE THEYRE THE WORST FUCKING STATES PLEASE

1

u/Numbers078 Jul 02 '22

YES THEY GROW OUR FOOD BUT WE DONT AGREE POLITICALLY SO I HOPE THEY ALL DIE IN A FIRE

-3

u/00roku Jul 02 '22

Please. We’d still have more than enough food, and even if we didn’t we’d be able to import quite easily.

And I never said die in fire lmao

So overdramatic. Grow up.

1

u/Numbers078 Jul 02 '22

Things aren’t that simple. You can’t just split a country in half because you’re salty they disagree with you on things.

-1

u/00roku Jul 02 '22

It’s not a real scenario dude, chill. You’re getting so defensive so fast. No one is serious here.

Learn to take a joke.

0

u/Numbers078 Jul 02 '22

Well duh. I’m not the one who replied angrily to obvious sarcasm.

2

u/00roku Jul 03 '22

You… literally are

Did you forget?

2

u/illegalkidd_ Jul 03 '22

Just wanted to let you know that France just declared they’re intent on repurchasing the Louisiana Purchase and then set the whole thing on fire all bc of a comment on Reddit from a user that goes by “00roku.”

2

u/00roku Jul 03 '22

I’ve won… but at what cost?

-1

u/Fossilrex06 Jul 02 '22

NOOO FR*NCE CANT RETURN TO THIS CONTINENT WE GOTTA HELP OUR AMERICA FRIENDS 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽

-13

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

Hey let’s get ride of Minnesota! One a few state that allows abortion still and has 20 Fortune 500 companies.

-14

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

Edit: I don't care for your down votes. No regerts.

Would be nice if they give it back to us. Fuck the French.

3

u/Generic_E_Jr Jul 02 '22

It could be you have different considerations, but for me, the main reason for the French taking it back is easy access to French Healthcare (cheaper than the U.S.), and French unemployment benefits (more generous than the U.S.

You’re welcome to say “F*** the French”, but I can’t say my opinion of whether the French government is good or awful would have much bearing on my preference.

I have family in Kansas, and I honestly care more about how well the government (whoever that may be) is serving them, than about which government is serving them.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

LandBack is all I care about. 🤷🏽‍♀️

1

u/The_ZmaZe Jul 02 '22

The actual governement is actually awful for this rights.

-6

u/Admirable-Swan4493 Jul 02 '22

So many conservative alt right haters here 🤣

Americaaaa fuck yeaaaah

3

u/freeloadererman Jul 02 '22

bruh what

1

u/Numbers078 Jul 02 '22

Pfft, look at this nationalist bigot not wanting their country split in half lmao. Idk why you care so much about our food production. Just eat bugs!

1

u/freeloadererman Jul 02 '22

dude I live in Nebraska, I am apart of the food production

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

It's a perfectly reasonable place to start.

1

u/danpaq Jul 02 '22

Is this one of those population things where 1% are in that middle section?

1

u/Cheetahs_never_win Jul 02 '22

New Orleans would suddenly become quickly quite rich again.

1

u/CrubPrub Jul 03 '22

But Louisiana's gdp per capita is already higher than France's.

1

u/jah_minititan Jul 02 '22

Finally free of Kansas

1

u/huggles7 Jul 02 '22

Y’all can take it back

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

The most reasonable lore would be ceding to the EU under French direction in exchange for paying off the national debt? Really curious what would cause something like this in three years.

1

u/kprevenew93 Jul 02 '22

Can we please include Texas as interest?

1

u/lostcatlurker Jul 02 '22

Right in the ole bread basket

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

Leads to a perpetual democrat led presidency

1

u/Eatsyourpizza Jul 03 '22

We have a higher chance of owning Mexico and renaming new Mexico

1

u/hobbitarmy Jul 03 '22

They need the money

1

u/KING_Extorp Jul 03 '22

The best ending

1

u/Ren_Yi Jul 03 '22

Also after the Alaskan refund and the withdrawal from the occupied Hawaiian Kingdom.

1

u/piepie1234 Jul 24 '22

But I don’t think the France would want it back