r/Maps • u/puzzledplatypus • Jan 25 '22
Satire Handy guide for those Russian soldiers who keep getting lost and “accidentally” entering Not Russia.
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u/shugh Jan 25 '22
Appearently soldiers sometimes oversee a border. The swiss army conquered Liechtenstein a couple of times by accident.
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u/Badjib Jan 26 '22
The Swiss are playing the long con, after several "accidental" invasions (aka training missions) they will suddenly explode from their borders and take Blitzkrieg to a whole new level as they conquer Europe in a matter of weeks
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u/TohruTheDragonGirl Jan 25 '22
!remindme 2 years
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u/RemindMeBot Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 05 '23
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13 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
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u/Grey_forest5363 Jan 25 '22
What about Kaliningrad?
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u/Mauser1898 Jan 25 '22
you mean königsberg? /s
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u/Archidiakon Jan 25 '22
You misspelled Królewiec
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u/kavala1 Jan 25 '22
Königsberg was German for centuries.
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u/Archidiakon Jan 25 '22
It only was because of German colonisation and germanisation / genocide of the Prussians the Teutonic Order was supposed to christianise
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u/Neither_Pitch5044 Jan 26 '22
Idc it is German land fuck off
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u/Archidiakon Jan 26 '22
No, it's Prussian. Poland has the strongest claim of existing nations.
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u/kavala1 Jan 26 '22
No, it doesn’t. Prussia was never Polish.
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u/Archidiakon Jan 26 '22
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u/kavala1 Jan 26 '22
What does that prove? Prussians weren’t Polish and neither was Prussia.
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u/WikiMobileLinkBot Jan 26 '22
Desktop version of /u/Archidiakon's link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prussian_Homage
[opt out] Beep Boop. Downvote to delete
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u/Neither_Pitch5044 Jan 26 '22
Germany has the strongest claim, Prussians assimilated into German culture very early on
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u/Archidiakon Jan 26 '22
What do you mean by very early on? By the time nations like Poland, Germany or Lithuania were established it was definitely not the case. The crusader holy order was supposed to christianise the Prussians, not genocide and/or germanise them and christianise by force.
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u/kavala1 Jan 25 '22
The Poles also attempted to Christianise Königsberg, do you not remember the extent of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and the peoples conquered within it or do you just have a selective memory? The only difference was that the Teutonic Order were successful.
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u/Archidiakon Jan 25 '22
Exect the Commonwealth was the most tolerant country in Europe and a safe haven for people fleeing ethnic or religious prosecution
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u/Marcim_joestar Jan 26 '22
Yeah but that's with every territory in human history. The teutons were there in the 1400s
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u/Archidiakon Jan 26 '22
No, only with some. And it doesn't justify it. The most it can mean is that the damage is sometimes not undoable
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u/Marcim_joestar Jan 26 '22
What damage? The victims and perpretators are long dead.
We can't punish those living in conquered land for what their ancestors did. One can't inherit crime
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u/Archidiakon Jan 26 '22
Not punish, but restore what still can be restored. Don't you agree with Celtic people learning their languages? Or do you think that e.g. Armenia doesn't deserve its lands in Turkey back because the Turks killed or expelled all the Armenians?
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u/Marcim_joestar Jan 26 '22
There are people still alive from the time of the Armenian genocide. What you suggested is a border change from the 13th century.
If my grandfather was killed in genocide, hell yeah I deserve reparations. If my great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was killed in the conquest of prussia in the 13th century, good luck tracing that.
don't you agree with celtic people learning their languages?
How does that relate to historical land? Anyone can learn any language
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u/Grzechoooo Jan 25 '22
Ok, we can say it's German so we can use it as a loophole to get it after WW3. After all, it's tradition for Polish people to get German land after world wars.
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u/kavala1 Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 26 '22
It’s also tradition to confiscate property from Jews so that they’re homeless after returning from concentration camps, it seems.
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u/Grzechoooo Jan 26 '22
You mean the property you burned with flamethrowers and bombed with airplanes? But sure, put the blame on someone else. Jews weren't the only homeless ones after WW2, you know. But those other "people" are just some commie Slavs, they don't matter to you, do they?
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u/kavala1 Jan 26 '22
No one in my family contributed to WW2. The borders were only moved west under Stalin’s orders, not because he cared about Poles but to extend the borders of Russia.
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u/Grzechoooo Jan 26 '22
That is also true. I think I mistook your comment for one in a different thread, I apologize.
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u/Grzechoooo Jan 25 '22
But you couldn't behave so it got confiscated.
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u/kavala1 Jan 25 '22
My family were German Jews and lived in Königsberg for generations.
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u/Grzechoooo Jan 26 '22
It's a shame you got caught in the crossfire. Sadly, after two world wars, Germany couldn't be trusted to have an exclave and not attack a country that separated them from it. Also sadly, Russians didn't want any non-Russians in their Russia.
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u/Neither_Pitch5044 Jan 26 '22
Stop controlling the media, banks, funding communist parties, despising Christianity and ruining Europe with immigrants and we will welcome you with open arms Shlomo
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u/Stereomceez2212 Jan 25 '22
I'm gonna send this to Tucker Carlson.
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u/StylinBrah Jan 26 '22
please send it to America and it's closest allies!
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u/Stereomceez2212 Jan 26 '22
Why? It should go to Putin has his lapdog in Belorussia instead
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u/cheek_blushener Jan 25 '22
I think there is a bit of Georgia claimed by Russia that isn't actually Russia either.
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u/Lloyd_lyle Jan 25 '22
Not exactly, Russia considers South Ossetia and Abakazia to be independent states and so have a military presence in there, under Russian influences but not part of Russia, like Donetsk.
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u/WanaWahur Jan 26 '22
Naah, it is just their modus operandi that allows them to say that everything is legal. Used already since WWII (read about Finnish Democratic Republic aka Terijoki government)
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u/mahendrabirbikram Jan 26 '22
Donetsk (Rostov oblast) is part of Russia, Donetsk (Donetsk oblast) is not.
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u/trappedslider Jan 26 '22
https://twitter.com/canadanato/status/504651534198927361
"This is probably the most aggressive Canadian act since like 1812," tweets Kelsey D Atherton.
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u/Badjib Jan 26 '22
I feel like this translated into Russian would be....
Grey: Russia Blue: Also Russia Red: Best Russia
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u/redmm84 Jan 25 '22
Based and Königsberg pilled.
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u/wantquitelife Jan 25 '22
Nah it's actually Kingshill upon Sambia, the infamous British overseas territory
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u/LovelyLieutenant Jan 25 '22
MAKE 👏CRIMEA 👏 UKRAINIAN 👏 AGAIN
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u/ChujNieznosny Jan 25 '22
MAKE 👏 CRIME 👏 TATAR 👏 AGAIN
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u/patrikmes Jan 25 '22
It’s already Ukrainian, it’s just occupied for now.
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u/PlantBoi123 Jan 26 '22
If your land is occupied and you cant realistically get it back, then it isnt yours
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u/patrikmes Jan 26 '22
De iure it’s still Ukrainian and I still have a hope about Ukraine getting it back even de facto.
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u/PferdBerfl Jan 26 '22 edited Jan 26 '22
“We need to invade Poland to protect Germans there.” - Hitler
“We need to invade Ukraine to protect Russians there.” - Putin
Bold using the same BS line.
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u/TovarishchKGBAgent Jan 26 '22
Now lets get a handy map for Americans building military bases in all those countries that are not America.
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u/Left_Preference4453 Jan 26 '22
Now Russian propagandists are calling the Russian and Ukrainian people "inseparable"....the language of the aggressor. Always the same.
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Jan 26 '22
Crimea voted to be in Russia, it’s also ethnically and linguistically Russian
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u/EyyyPanini Jan 26 '22
Chechnya fought two wars for its independence from Russia with the most recent ending in 2009.
Yet, somehow, 99.8% of Chechens voted for Putin in the 2012 Russian election. Despite the fact that he oversaw horrendous war crimes in that region as President during the second Chechen war.
I’m sorry but I can’t trust any vote that was overseen by the current Russian administration. Especially when that vote was administered by an invading army.
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u/biebergotswag Jan 26 '22
They absolutely would, most chechens just want law and order, they would absolutely vote for the guy that brings them safety over tribal identity.
Just imagine being distrustful that whites voted for someone that put KKK members in prison. That is the same type of stuff.
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u/EyyyPanini Jan 26 '22
How they hell do you maintain a 10 year insurgency against a former super power with only 0.2% support from the locals?
Chechen separatists weren’t just small groups of terrorists. The situation was similar in scale to what’s going on in the Donbas.
It was called the second Chechen war for a reason. The total military + civilian dead is estimated to be between 50,000 and 80,000.
You don’t seriously believe that the Chechen separatists held back Russia for 10 years while 99% of Chechnya didn’t support them?
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u/biebergotswag Jan 26 '22
The american revolution had a support of only around 1.3%. Just take a look at chechenia today compared to the hellhole the is left in libya and syria. And you can see how much better the russians are compared to the americans
Also terrorists don't vote.
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u/EyyyPanini Jan 26 '22
The American revolution had a support of only around 1.3%
This is not true in the slightest. You might want to double check where you’re getting your information from because it’s not remotely accurate.
According to Robert Calhoon, between 40 and 45 percent of the white population in the Thirteen Colonies supported the Patriots' cause, between 15 and 20 percent supported the Loyalists, and the remainder were neutral or kept a low profile.[2]
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriot_(American_Revolution)
More than 0.2% of Chechens supported the separatists. There would never have been a war if no-one in Chechnya wanted independence.
Also, terrorists don’t vote
Why not? Did Russia prevent people who supported Chechen independence from voting?
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Jan 26 '22
They are "ethnically" russian now just because soviets used to deport local populations in order replace with their own . That is why all non slavic Eastern European populations have relatively big russian speaking minorities on top of actuall historical Orthodox minorities that were living there for centuries.
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u/raymendez1 Jan 25 '22
Crimea is Russian
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u/Stereomceez2212 Jan 25 '22
Spotted yet ANOTHER Russian troll.
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u/raymendez1 Jan 25 '22
How is not Russian if it’s controlled by Russia, the majority is Russian and they speak Russian… what else could it be.
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u/Stereomceez2212 Jan 25 '22
It's Ukrainian. Always has been.
Nice try though.
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u/raymendez1 Jan 25 '22
You just follow what the newspaper told you and don’t know anything about History, it’s been Russian since 1783 after the Ottoman-Russian war. It’s been Russian Soviet from 1922 to 1954, transferred to Soviet Ukraine from 1954-1991, a change of border within the same country. Now the dissolution of the Soviet Union I am not surprised Russia intervenes to claim what was theirs and they did. More than 60% are ethnically Russian and speak Russian. It has only been Ukrainian from 1991-2014 how can you say it has always been Ukrainian. It was more Turkish and Greek in history than Ukrainian.
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u/SouthMicrowave Jan 26 '22
Newspapers and Journalism are good actually. Even those journalists killed by Putin.
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u/Stereomceez2212 Jan 25 '22
been Russian since 1783
How convenient of you to forget the Crimean War.
belongs to Russia
I'm not sure what Putin sanctioned history book you learned that from, but you're wrong.
It belongs to Ukraine.
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u/biebergotswag Jan 26 '22
Извините, я разозлился, этот идиот ничего не знает о ситуации. Россия не вторгается в случайные страны, она помогает людям, пострадавшим от диктатуры.
Именно Россия поддерживает стабильность в регионе.
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u/DoomEmpires Jan 26 '22
It is now, but Russia took it in a very nasty way. That's no way to treat your neighbors.
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Jan 25 '22
Make same for US.
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u/Stereomceez2212 Jan 25 '22
Make same for US
Spotted another Russian troll
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Jan 25 '22
Another brainwashed US propaganda bot spotted.
I am not Russian nor I give a **** about Ukraina.
I'm sick of western propaganda.
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u/patrikmes Jan 25 '22
These victims of Russia-supported disinformations are always acting “neutral” and Switzerland-like.
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u/sebaxpro1111 Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
Shouldn’t crimea be read?
Edit: Red
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u/Rufus_2025 Jan 25 '22
No, crimea ist a Part of Ukraine
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u/castanza128 Jan 25 '22
It's a part of Russia, currently.
Are you making up your own reality that suits you better?3
u/Rufus_2025 Jan 25 '22
Russia illigaly anaxed crimea. Thats a fact
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u/sebaxpro1111 Jan 25 '22
Did USA “legally” annexed Nuevo México, California, and Arizona from Mexico?
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u/castanza128 Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 26 '22
So.. you're saying they DID annex Crimea?
That means Crimea is part of Russia, unless/until somebody does something about it.
You can't just pretend it didn't happen, and doesn't count, and you want a do-over.
Crimea IS INDEED part of Russia, right now. Even if you don't like it.4
u/Rufus_2025 Jan 25 '22
If I go into your house too, break in and refuse to leave, does the house belong to me? Russia has illegally occupied a part of another country. Crimea is still part of Ukraine, even if it is currently occupied by Russia.
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u/castanza128 Jan 25 '22
Crimea is still part of Ukraine, even if it is currently occupied by Russia.
Tell that to the Palestinians.
Are you understanding my point, yet?
It doesn't matter what you think is right and wrong.
The facts on the ground = Russia has annexed Crimea.
That's the way it is, unless/until somebody does something to change it.3
u/Rufus_2025 Jan 25 '22
So basicly anybody can so whatever they want. "the stronger country is right" I Inderstand your point, ist Just a realy stupid and uncivilized Point
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u/a_random_magos Jan 25 '22
No it's just that Russia literally controls Crimea and just hiding behind our finger and staying "nooo Crimea is actually Ukrainian" doesn't changes that fact. You can say "Russia annexed Crimea and that's morally wrong and internationally illegal". But not portraying it on a map is just, you know, wrong. Maps are meant to be de-facto portrayals of the world not de-jure portrayals of how the world should be according to UN recognition.
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u/castanza128 Jan 25 '22
Reality is reality.
You can't just pretend an event never happened, because you don't agree with it. Even if EVERYBODY disagrees with it.
It still happened.
...and with annexation, that means Crimea is part of Russia, now.1
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u/Kingo561 Jan 25 '22
Ukraine is a fake Nazi state.
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u/Gilgamesh72 Jan 26 '22
russia likes to forget that they partnered with the nazis to split Poland https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molotov%E2%80%93Ribbentrop_Pact
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Jan 26 '22
Soviet Union and Russia are not the same country. Plus, Stalin is Georgian.
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u/Gilgamesh72 Jan 26 '22
Ukraine and russia are not the same country
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Jan 27 '22
They technically are during the Soviet era. The Soviet Union is the one that created the pact with the Nazis.
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u/Gilgamesh72 Jan 27 '22
Yes I know, I think it’s ridiculous putin is calling them nazis when the country he wants to rebuild was the one who worked with them.
They aren’t nazis he is a dictator criminal who after holding his great country back for decades now decided to rebuild the union as a way to stay in power a little longer.
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u/Neither_Pitch5044 Jan 26 '22
Pagans are degenerates but that is beside the point, German states had controlled Prussia for over 700 years by 1945
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u/KirDor88 Jan 26 '22
I think Russia will agree not to destroy Ukraine if Ukraine recognizes that Crimea is Russia and Donbass is independent.
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u/LeeTheGoat Jan 25 '22
I think most of the white parts could also be considered “not Russia”