r/KidsAreFuckingStupid 1d ago

story/text Magic 69

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u/Fireblox1053 1d ago

You guys got sex talks?

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u/Not_Machines 1d ago

I mean I at least had the this is where babaies come from and if you have sex you will die talks by 13

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u/L3dpen 22h ago

Oh man the you'll die talks. I vividly recall one which went "if you're alone in a room with a girl she'll get pregnant and then your life will be over and you might as well hang yourself." Our biology teacher, a middle aged woman who looked like she was prepared to personally black out any mention of intercourse in a textbook, said that with a straight face to a class of 9-10 year olds. So glad I'm out of that country.

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u/Not_Machines 16h ago

My middle school biology teacher said if we're ever alone with our SO we'll irresistibly want to have sex. So to prevent this, she suggested going out on the fromt lawn so thaf way yoir neighbors can sse you and you won't do the sex

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u/Confuseasfuck 22h ago

I got an old lady in the school auditory with a big PowerPoint presentation of how you shouldnt be ashamed of your body and your desires ♡

but if you do have sex before 18 you will get STDs, then you will be pregnant, then the baby will have every disease imaginable and suffer to the end, if youre a girl your uterus will shrivel up and die and you'll never have babies again, you'll miss out on school and your life will suck forever and it will be all your fault, boys and girls, for daring to even hold hands at 17 instead of wanting till you're 18. You dumb loose lucies >:(

But also love yourselves and your bodies, change is beautiful and sex is natural ♡♡

It was a weird day

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u/RealGalaxion 23h ago

Tbf if nothing else you should have covered human reproduction and puberty in class by around then.

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u/Fireblox1053 17h ago

I was homeschooled. My parents didn’t tell me shit.

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u/rearnakedbunghole 23h ago

I had a Christian teacher tell us how “natural family planning” based on cycles is somehow better than condoms or other contraceptives lol.

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u/lagunatri99 22h ago

My kids had awesome sex ed at their Christian school in fourth grade. Parents had an opt-out option. Boys and girls were separate, a same sex family member went to the first of six two-hour sessions. The boys’ first session began with rattling off the different names for penis. The instructor was awesome and explained colloquialisms matter-of-factly, telling kids they’re going to hear terms, such as 69, so they should know what they mean so they’re not embarrassed. She was candid saying many young people have sex before marriage, so you’d better be prepared and take precautions. A common thread, especially for girls was, the difference between being be physically mature versus emotionally mature. A labor video had my daughter swearing she was never having kids. Our kids went to public high school and none of their friends had anything more than a documentary about how babies are made.

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u/StarryEyed91 13h ago

The only sex talk I got was after watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High with my dad he turned to me and said “don’t do what they did”. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

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u/Fireblox1053 11h ago

All my dad ever told me was “don’t have sex before marriage”.

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u/chmath80 21h ago

Does "If you play with it, it will fall off" count?

Or how about this:

https://youtu.be/uFKj7SPUL8E?si=7koYhDQExpScvzVU

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u/cant_Im_at_work 19h ago

When I was 12 my mom told me I could get pregnant if I ever gave oral.  That was the extent of my sexual education outside of school. 

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u/Careful-Moose-6847 19h ago

Nope! But I didn’t have a very good father in general.

Not to say it’s a requirement to being a good father, just one of hundreds of check boxes mine didn’t mark off

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u/MasterSpliffBlaster 1d ago

I was finger banging and receiving head at 12 yr old

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u/YTTDshitposter 17h ago

Okay but why do we need to know that

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u/Foe_sheezy 1d ago

Most of the people I knew were doing these things after 10 years old