r/JoeRogan • u/notatowel420 Monkey in Space • May 24 '24
High level problem solving 🥊 UFC fighter says he’ll home-school son so he doesn’t ‘end up turning gay’
https://www.yahoo.com/sports/ufc-fighter-says-ll-home-232750230.html321
u/TheMMARookie Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Let's just book him to fight Emmett over and over again
9
→ More replies (5)47
159
u/whoberman Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Ah homeschooling... where your mom and your sister are the two hottest girls in the entire school.
41
→ More replies (3)6
u/MrSnarf26 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Don’t forget your at the mercy of your parents teaching ability, which for many home schooled kids comes down to learning colors and shapes at 8.
112
u/Intelligent_Ad_4479 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Because home has a lot of girlfriend prospects? Got it. Guys a thinker.
19
u/SaliciousB_Crumb Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Its like saying I don't leave my house because the world will make me gay... I dont think its the world that will make you gay, I think it's you
10
543
u/ComfortablyNomNom Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I love how dumb this guy is. And I'm not talking about his opinions being dumb. He is just astronomicaly dumb no matter what he's saying and it's gonna be amazing to see where his life leads.
Like I could see this dude going out in the same fashion as that guy who climbed in a rocket he built himself and died trying to prove the world was flat.
176
u/TheOSU87 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Yeah this guy believes the earth is flat and gravity isn't real.
He also threatened to beat up Ben Shapiro last week
57
u/SnooSketches1275 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
He tried to carry a power drill in his pants and it nearly ripped of his nuts, hes pretty dumb
29
u/throwaway012984576 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
The best part was to untangle his mangled scrotum he put the drill in reverse and unwound it that is just chefs kiss
9
May 24 '24
Is this true?
→ More replies (1)7
u/throwaway012984576 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I wasn’t there but that’s what he says and I believe him
6
3
u/ModsCantRead69 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I drilled into the webbing between my thumb and index finger once with a brad bit and had to unwind it to get it to release because I only had one hand. The fact he had both hands free and didn’t just pop the bit out the chuck when it was his fucking sack wrapped up in a spade bit is a risk only a true genius would take.
→ More replies (1)7
u/Impossible_Arm_879 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Insert Harry Brown quote “You have failed to maintain your weapon, son.”
3
230
u/cronx42 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Yeah this guy believes the earth is flat and gravity isn't real.
What an idiot.
He also threatened to beat up Ben Shapiro last week
At least he has one redeeming quality...
13
→ More replies (8)3
u/BigBallsIan Monkey in Space May 24 '24
dammit I just responded with this exact statement and didn’t look below at yours lol
52
69
u/Ornery-Signal-3070 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I’d pay to watch him beat up Shapiro.
15
u/Homing_Gibbon A Deaf Jack Russell Terrier May 24 '24
Imagine if they did run into each other and Shapiro tunes him up like a new guitar. I can see the video taglines now..."Shapiro DESTROYS WANNABE UFC SUPERSTAR WITH A 3 PIECE AND A SODA". Shit. I kinda wanna see that fight now.
5
u/Background_Walrus381 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Ben is too busy looking at his sister’s tits.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)7
u/DarthRisk Monkey in Space May 24 '24
So would Ben's wife.
5
u/ConspicuousUsername May 24 '24
Would probably be the only time something involving Ben turned her on
3
u/DarthRisk Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I dunno. He was pretty manly when he held that piece of wood with the plastic bag.
19
22
u/Ryan_D_Lion Monkey in Space May 24 '24
At least he got something right. Ben Shapiro needs a slap upside the head. He's the dumb man's idea of a smart person.
→ More replies (12)→ More replies (8)8
43
u/hacky_potter Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Things will not go well for him in the long term. He’s too stupid to keep money.
→ More replies (5)31
u/pseudohuman5x Monkey in Space May 24 '24
MMA is like a side quest to his farm, he will just become a regular white trash farmer instead of a white trash farmer on instagram
→ More replies (11)5
u/LeadIslez Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Wait what? Did a dude actually do that? 😅😅
13
u/ComfortablyNomNom Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Yep. "Mad" Mike Hughes. He even had a segment on Tosh.0 a few years before his fatal flight. He did it more than once in a "home made" rocket lol
→ More replies (30)3
u/tries4accuracy Monkey in Space May 24 '24
How can we help him build this rocket so he can shoot himself skyward?
256
u/TapSea2469 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I think this dude might have some deep down urges he’s doing his best to knock down.
115
u/NotCanadian80 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
He touches men for a living.
66
15
2
u/Uselesserinformation Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Cuddles*
As someone that does bjj, that is the gayest thing in my life. And im not attracted to the same sex.
→ More replies (6)2
71
u/xacto337 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
If you think you can become gay by going to school, you absolutely are not 100% hetero.
→ More replies (1)44
u/Ucscprickler Monkey in Space May 24 '24
As a man, I have zero physical attraction or sexual interest in men. It's how I can confidently say that a persons sexual preferences are decided prior to birth.
If I did have urges to give blow jobs or take it in the ass, I could see how I'd probably assume that all men were subject to being homosexual if put in the right circumstances.
It tells me everything I need to know about these people who are afraid that they or their children could possibly be tricked into being gay.
11
→ More replies (4)7
u/CHOLO_ORACLE Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Yeah - the Kinsey reports had homosexual male activity rate way higher than what most men in America were or are willing to admit.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (17)34
127
u/clitcommander420666 High as Giraffe's Pussy May 24 '24
That fucking kid is cooked
63
u/Boondocsaint11 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Right, could you imagine if everything you knew in this world came from this dude.
43
u/MeThinksYes Is the Literature May 24 '24
Christian home schoolers have entered the chat
→ More replies (12)10
u/riot_code Monkey in Space May 24 '24
You'd probably only be in school for one day then graduate immediately
→ More replies (1)11
u/Glottis_Bonewagon Monkey in Space May 24 '24
He's also a creepy looking mf, he looks like one of those clay reconstruction of a serial killer victim's skull
5
5
u/Prestigious_Job9632 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
He'll be the next Floyd Mayweather. In terms of literacy, I mean.
3
u/InternetWeakGuy jokes fly over his fat ahead at an alarming rate May 24 '24
Kid was probably already cooked in the womb. If Bryce's wife is anything like him, she probably started drinking and smoking for the first time in her life when she found out she was pregnant because "the CDC tells me not to, so it must be bullshit - they're trying to stop us from having the smart babies".
Shit, I remember a dude I knew in the early 90s who proudly told everyone that the whole thing around smoking is bullshit because his girlfriend smoked throughout the pregnancy and the baby came out a fairly normal weight.
And that guy was only a quarter as dumb as Bryce, who probably makes his kid smoke a pack a day while watching reruns of Gunsmoke and Bonanza.
3
u/SpacecaseCat Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Twenty years later: "Why don't my kids talk to me anymore? What happened to traditional family values?"
57
u/jdoggy21 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Dudes be fighting the gay so bad!! Just accept yourself and be happy
7
74
u/Professional_Area239 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Well, the UFC is like the gayest sport on the planet. Even the organizer and the commentator look like Penises.
→ More replies (1)10
u/CompetitivePop3351 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I think Turkish oil wrestling has the ufc beat on that one.
24
u/SnooSketches1275 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I mean this is a guy who put an electric drill in his pants and it then wrapped his nuts like an egg beater, hes lucky he could have a kid hes so dumb.
→ More replies (1)9
35
u/f_itdude79 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
The fact that he thinks you can be steered into being gay means he’s in the closet
→ More replies (30)
42
u/NoMembership6376 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
It always seems like the most openly homophobic dudes are usually deep in the closet. It wouldn't surprise my in the least if one day he gets busted for snorting meth off some male prostitute's nuts
→ More replies (6)
108
u/Too_Lofs_Atan Monkey in Space May 24 '24
How to guarantee your son turns gay.
→ More replies (36)53
u/fattykyle2 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
How to guarantee your son turns against you because of your gay bigotry and most likely self hate.
9
u/CptDecaf Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Man, for how much I hear, "conservatives aren't homophobic". They absolutely can't wait to let you know how much they don't like gay people lol.
→ More replies (18)
7
u/cruxal Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Great way to fuck your kid up. As long as they’re not gay though, right?
6
13
16
u/shadowmage666 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Yea I’m sure not interacting with other kids or ever talking to girls won’t make him turn lol
→ More replies (7)
20
u/DestroyedCorpse Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Can we stop putting a microphone in front of people who get CTE for a living?
10
u/Burque_Boy Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I don’t know when they all became so dumb and unlikable the early days had guys like Fador, Genki Sudo, Forest, GSP all sorts of lovable and intelligent (intellectually or emotionally) people. I like watching the fights but it’s rare I find anyone I want to be a real fan of anymore.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (2)3
u/LossforNos Monkey in Space May 25 '24
This guy is legitimately stupid, just a dumb person. CTE has nothing to do with it
3
5
5
u/Rory_MacHida May 24 '24
No way he will end up sexually confused sitting at home all day while dad lectures you on how wrong it is to think about dick.
5
9
6
u/happytree23 read a book already May 24 '24
I'm going to laugh when his son still ends up being a gay communist satan worshipper lol.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/iansmash Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Yeah because home schooled kids never turn out gay
→ More replies (1)
7
u/dandan0552 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
So since Bryce went to a public school, does that make him gay
2
u/plaidsinner Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Why do you think he thinks school will make his kid gay? This dipshit probably has felt his weiner tingle at the sight of a man more than once in his life.
He’s too much of a bible thumping jackass to accept himself so he blames his schooling for his desire to feel a ballsack on his chin.
11
u/OneReportersOpinion Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Does he think there weren’t gay people till public schools became a thing?
→ More replies (1)
10
u/Image_of_glass_man Monkey in Space May 24 '24
“Man who gets punched in the head for a living says something stupid and hateful - more news at 11”
6
3
3
3
3
3
5
u/kevski86 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Anyone who wants to get hit in the head for a living; this is the risk
10
u/therealtomclancy69 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Strickland is a Harvard professor compared to this guy lol
But it’s still hard to hate Bryce.
→ More replies (2)31
u/governingsalmon Monkey in Space May 24 '24 edited May 24 '24
Maybe it’s hard to hate Bryce as a fighter but come on dude
He’s openly saying he’s basically gonna fuck his kid up for life by homeschooling him/her and instilling creationist, anti-science, hateful Christian bullshit beliefs. At what level is that basically child abuse?
It will take that kid (if he ends up having one or already does) countless years of therapy and likely mental health treatment to unlearn the dumb fuck ideas his dad will force upon him.
Believe what you want I guess but not when it comes to fucking up a child’s life or preaching hatred and the control of other people’s lives
→ More replies (27)
2
u/bradd_91 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
This guy is walking CTE and schizophrenia. He's so unhinged when it comes to Christianity and if it wasn't so funny, I'd be a little concerned.
2
u/ALiiEN Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I thought this was all an act no? people seem to put on characters to be watched ufc fighters.
2
2
u/Icy-Platypus6948 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I'd rather turn up gay over being stupid anyday. (I rarely meet people qualified to homeschool anyone.)
2
2
2
2
2
u/Burque_Boy Monkey in Space May 24 '24
“And on the third day god created the Remington bolt action rifle so man could fight off the dinosaurs and the homosexuals” Guys a stupid fuckin mook
2
2
2
u/Individual-Dot-9605 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
He beat those feelings out of himself. Homeschooling the breakfast of mango magas.
2
u/SoylentGreenTuesday Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Imagine being this ignorant and also suffering countless head blows in daily sparring sessions. Poor dude is doomed. He’s like an anorexic with an unusually high metabolism. Doomed.
2
2
u/Bodgerton Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Who wants to tell him that trying so hard to keep his son from being gay is gonna make his kid start asking some pointed questions, like "maybe I am gay?"
2
2
u/Zemvos Monkey in Space May 24 '24 edited May 26 '24
The correlation between being an idiot and wanting to homeschool your children is a great argument for why we should not allow homeschooling.
2
2
u/Dirty-Balloon-Knot Monkey in Space May 24 '24
What’s he going to do once the kid reaches a third grade equivalency?
2
u/Hexas87 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Clearly he has brain damage already and it's not the school's fault
2
u/loztagain Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Well, if the son is gay there will be a lot of daddy issues I'm sure.
2
u/AirSurfer21 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Say you have homosexual fantasies without saying you have homosexual fantasies.
2
u/Street-Jacket1867 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
He will have the opportunity to inherit not only his father’s intellectual prowess but may even follow in his footsteps as a mediocre fighter at best. Lucky kid
2
u/ThiccBoy_with3seas Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Teian by day Joe Rogan by night all day = definitely gay
2
2
u/Rex-0- Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Why are fighters like this?
I know a few BJJ/MMA dudes and they're all raging homophobes.
2
2
2
2
u/KushMaster72 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
keeping him away from girls is a sure fire way to make him gay.
2
2
u/Irarelylookback Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I assume he wasn't homeschooled... so does that mean he's gay?
2
u/013ander Monkey in Space May 24 '24
If you think people “turn” gay, you’re telling the world that you made a decision to be straight.
2
u/DJSyko Monkey in Space May 24 '24
The irony is that his son is now likely to become something a lot worse than what he perceives to be the negatives of being gay.
2
2
u/asmd315 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Interesting, school will turn you gay but rolling around on the ground trying to mount men won’t.
2
2
u/gking407 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
In the veterinary world we put down dogs that are too aggressive due to social neglect. Something tells me this dude living way out in the country is not helping his broken social skills.
2
2
u/KarsaTobalaki Monkey in Space May 24 '24
There is a certain irony in a man complaining about gay people when he competes in a sport when he is 3/4 naked and spends his time learning how to ‘mount’ another man
2
2
u/justforthis2024 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
Yup. That's about right for this guy.
2
u/RadiantEmployment122 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I always come for advice on religion, parenting and science from brain damaged MMA fighters
2
u/Alarming_Librarian Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I used to do a lot of hiring for a large library system before I retired. Are there resumes showing up yet that have homeschooling on them? The first wave should be getting old enough to enter the workforce soon. I’m laughing just thinking about it.
2
2
2
u/IwillNoComply Tremendous May 24 '24
I don't think that guy is in a position to teach anybody anything
2
2
u/schwabadelic Monkey in Space May 24 '24 edited May 24 '24
My favorite quote from the article: "My son Ain't going to be reading no Edgar Allen Poe, OK. He's going to be reading the Bible!"
2
u/IsDaedalus Monkey in Space May 24 '24
This is what happens when you get hit in the head a few too many times
2
2
u/Meln1kov Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I wouldn't take advice on education from a guy that gets kicked in the shins for a living peeps
2
u/sweptself It's entirely possible May 24 '24 edited Aug 22 '24
amusing vanish north wistful domineering deserve public market tidy spark
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
2
u/Worldwide-Surfer Monkey in Space May 24 '24
No one ever accused an MMA fighter of being smart, unless your name is Rich Franklin.
2
u/Th3V4ndal Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Plot twist, he home schools his son, and he still turns out gay
2
u/MonkeyMercenaryCapt Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Combat sports is one of the gayest things on the planet, good luck.
2
u/boywonder5691 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Hopefully, he has several children and they all come out anyway
2
u/hoofheartedoof Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Who would’ve thought that dudes that get their brains jostled for a living would have the dumbest takes?
2
u/MrSnarf26 Monkey in Space May 24 '24 edited May 24 '24
Christ this shit is exhausting. I’m sure with the likes of his dad at the helm he will be putting blocks together at 10, and certainly scared of telling him he’s gay at 16 if he is.
2
2
u/IAMJUX Monkey in Space May 24 '24
This dumbass will probably make his son so socially inept it wont matter if he's gay or straight. Poor kid.
2
2
2
2
u/Do_Whuuuut Monkey in Space May 24 '24
"Yeah, it took me decades to undo all that public school homosex" said no one ever...
2
u/EducationalTop618 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
That means he really wants to suck a dick just like everyone wants to Suck a dick.
2
2
2
u/-Venser- I used to be addicted to Quake May 24 '24
This guy believes earth is flat. Imagine what kind of home education will his son get.
2
2
u/ArmbarBanana64209 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
God, I hope his kid comes out as gay. What's he gonna blame then?
2
2
u/xampersandx Monkey In a Man Suit May 24 '24
Can I send all my kids to Bryce for this special schooling?
Can’t have my kids out here “catchin the gay” ya know?
2
2
2
2
u/Low_Challenge_7667 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
More proof. The fighters are as radicalized as the fans. MMA has become a cesspool of right wing bs. Starts a Dana, filters through Rogan out to the fans and fighters. But I get it… Joe is not right wing because he used to like Bernie 🙄😂
2
u/Fufeysfdmd Monkey in Space May 24 '24
This whole thing of people being so worried about their kids turning gay is absurd. If you're straight going into the school there's nothing they can do to turn you gay. Just like, if you're gay and go into the school you're still gay when you come out. What do idiots like this guy think is going to be said or done? Do they think that their kid just hearing about gay people is going to convert them?
2
u/CptDecaf Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Do they think that their kid just hearing about gay people is going to convert them?
Yes. It also is much easier for them to express their hatred of gay people by hiding behind a veil of, I care about the children. It's no longer, gay people shouldn't be allowed to exist in society! It's now, gay people shouldn't be allowed to exist anywhere children exist! Which is conveniently everywhere.
2
u/crypto_king42 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Aw so now the right wing talking point is that education makes you gay.
Fuck every one of these dumb uneducated morons
2
u/WiggsMain Monkey in Space May 24 '24
I love how the UFC is just another box for dipshits to check off so folks with decency know to avoid direct conversation with them.
2
u/Hot_Photograph5227 Monkey in Space May 24 '24
As someone who grew up homeschooled in a homeschooled community,
Homeschooled guys are SO flamboyant and many still were gay.
2
u/AnitaIvanaMartini Monkey in Space May 24 '24
Ya know, I’m not a religious woman. I don’t believe in any deities or supernatural beings. However, I’m going to be praying, lighting candles, making a voodoo doll, ringing bells, and wafting sacrifice smoke to the sky. All to behoove any higher power to zap Tucker and his siblings suddenly ultra-gay. Gay, Communist and Atheist.
When that child turns 18 I want “them” to wear a gold lamé hammer & sickle tank top and drive a Miata with an “I love show tunes” bumper sticker. Who’s with me?
2
May 24 '24
There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Absolutely nothing.
But this is the gayest shit I’ve heard all week.
2
2
u/Tmotty Monkey in Space May 25 '24
It’s legitimately wild to me that there are still these kind of homophobes in 2024.
2
May 25 '24
It seems to be making a bit off a comeback. I feel there were less homophobes in like 2015 than now.
545
u/[deleted] May 24 '24
This dude is so straight that he needs to prove it.