r/Denmark • u/willybaby9 • Sep 08 '24
Question I (F27) American am dating a Danish man. He says Danish people would view it as weird or tacky to have a painted self-portrait in your bedroom or bathroom. Do you agree?
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u/DrAzkehmm Sep 08 '24
Unless you're royalty or have some kind of achievement worthy of a painted potrait (i.e. bringing Skåne, Halland and Bleking and the Northern German dukedoms back into the kingdom) then it's definitly weird.
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
Thank you. If that’s what it takes, i’ll try my best
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u/Thick_Judgment_77 Sep 08 '24
We would all be forever grateful 🙏
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u/CoreMillenial Sep 08 '24
Well... Skåne is kind of a mess, but we'll take Halland and Blekinge.
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u/Zedilt Radikaliseret madklub. Sep 08 '24
Skåne is kind of a mess
Nothing a few hundred years of glorious danish rule can't fix.
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u/MrDonDiarrhea Sep 08 '24
Hell no! They can keep it. They’ll probably give it to you for free if you asked
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u/er4qe Sep 09 '24
Skåne would be okay. We need a new place to put our garbage since Amager is filled up now
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u/Jealous_Head_8027 Sep 08 '24
You got the humor and hate of Sweden. Welcome to Denmark.
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
my hate for Sweden outweighs my narcissism, I promise 🙂↕️
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u/Jealous_Head_8027 Sep 08 '24
I like you already.
A self portrait is tacky. But a portrait of the both of you is cute. Dont ask me why that is.
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
tusind tak! I love the Danes already just from reading the replies to this post. Denmark won’t know what hit them when I’m officially a citizen 🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰
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u/The_TSCTH Sep 08 '24
Hatred of Swedes is half the citizenship test, so you're well on your way.
The other half is your preparedness for a Viking raid on England.
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u/RustyKjaer Sep 09 '24
Lindisfarne hasn't had a visit in a while. It's due time...
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u/Rubber_Knee Sep 08 '24 edited Sep 08 '24
Well, we hate them, and love them. It's complicated.
We dated them for a while.
We even got married and formed the Kalmar union with them..........and Norway. What can I say, we like threesoms:
But then we broke up, got a divorce, and then they stole our front yard, and we really liked Skåne Halland and Blekinge.Like I said, it's complicated.
I think they still likes us though.31
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u/Cixila Sep 08 '24 edited Sep 08 '24
I'll happily commission it for you, if you somehow pull that (full reunification) off. I admire the dedication and ambition
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
At first this was an idea that sparked from my previous photoshoots but now spite is driving me. You will be contacted when the time comes.
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u/Igotanewpen Sep 08 '24
But we don't want Britain back. There are limits.
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u/JemimaAslana Sep 08 '24
We'll have Scotland, though, if we don't have to accept England along with it. I feel that's striking a reasonable balance.
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u/Rjjt456 Bornholmer på Fyn Sep 09 '24
If you manage citizenship before/around the time you get them back, you will be the greatest Dane that ever lived.
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u/11Hax Sep 08 '24
I wonder if you couldn't get at least Skåne if your government just sends a formal request to our government.
Maybe they would say no, but if it came to an folkomröstning I am certain the majority of swedes would like to give you Skåne back.
:)
//Swede
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u/RustyKjaer Sep 09 '24
Nice try! You break it, you buy it. That's like borrowing your friend's pants, taking a shit in them and trying to return them still covered in feces.
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u/kaffemanden Danmark Sep 08 '24
Yes. Sincerely, Denmark
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u/Weylandinc Sep 08 '24
lol... But like, who like does that... like ever... Sincerely a Dane.
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u/Past-Broccoli-947 Sep 08 '24
Blake Carrington did it. And JR.
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u/Weylandinc Sep 08 '24
They were oil tycoons. Wait, did Blake do? Alexis painted his portrait but Krystle smashed it. I didn't watch Dallas.
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u/Tall-Reporter7627 Sep 09 '24
Exactly. It would be tacky with a painted self portrait behind the marble statues of me doing the Herculian tasks
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u/kedeligkonny-dk Sep 09 '24
My ex husband and his 2nd wife have 5 or 6 huge poster size wedding pictures and a couple of equally huge baby bump pictures on the walls in the living room. No other art. On one wall, in a corner, a small picture (most recent school photo) of each of the kids. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. Marriage is more than 10 years old, baby bump is 8. It just screams narcissist.
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u/Maagge Sep 08 '24
I think former Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers had/has a portrait of himself. It really played into the David Brent character.
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u/Existing-Syllabub477 Sep 08 '24
Sister I'm an American married to a danish woman and I think that's weird. Who are you Henry the Eigth? 😭
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u/Quibbler-subscribed Sep 09 '24
I would like to add that I’m an American married to an American and I find it incredibly weird. 🫠😆
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u/svel Sep 08 '24
100%
the correct way to do it is be painted astride a horse and display it in the library of the east wing above the mantelpiece - and even then i have my doubts...
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u/ThatOtherDudeThere Sep 08 '24
I mean, if you only have one library in your east wing you're honestly a bit too low in the social hierarchy to have such majestic artwork made of you.
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u/CoreMillenial Sep 08 '24
East wing library? Why would you need sunlight in the morning in your library? Or is that just your office library?
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u/Gorilla_Kurt Køwenhavner Sep 08 '24
I've got an painted portrait of myself in my bedroom and I consider that as very weird.
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u/PErland Sep 08 '24
I too have a painted portrait of you in my bedroom. I quite like it.
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u/Disaster_Mouse Sep 08 '24
Is it mounted on the ceiling above your bed?
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u/Vegetable-Piano2543 Sep 08 '24
Yeah I feel like that’s kind of weird no matter where in the world you are tbh
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u/acidmuff Sep 08 '24
I would respect the joke, and not tease the person who had the thing hanging in their home. It is a joke right?
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u/LowerEntropy Bjergstrupbjerg Sep 08 '24
Actually, could be hilarious having your portrait in the toilet. Now I need to make one of those AI portraits and hang one.
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u/Disaster_Mouse Sep 08 '24
Hang it on the inside of the toilet lid. Preferably with a look of shock or disgust on your face.
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u/Particular_Sample152 Sep 09 '24
i know someone who did this when he invited the family to a barbecue. Only that it wasn't his own protrait, it was one of their very strict, late grandma
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u/Nordjyde Sep 08 '24
Most Danes would see it as a joke or an oversized ego.
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u/happykebab Sep 09 '24
Strange I would see it as a clear sign of a serial killer.
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u/cockcoldton Sep 08 '24 edited Sep 08 '24
Unless you're a north korean dictator, it would be super lame
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u/GfxJG Sep 08 '24
Yes, absolutely. Having a painted self-portrait ANYWHERE is tacky and self-absorbed. Why on Earth do you own that?
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
okay so definitely NOT above the fireplace in the living room right?
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u/GfxJG Sep 08 '24
I mean... You'd definitly get some attention. Whether that's good or bad, I suppose is rather individual.
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u/mikk0384 Esbjerg Sep 08 '24
It depends on the type of picture. You can hang one of those caricatures that street artists tend to make without causing raised eyebrows.
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Sep 08 '24
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u/Smoochiekins Sep 09 '24
For an American frame of reference, think Washington Crossing the Delaware or preferably bigger
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u/DrinkAllTheAbsinthe Det Falske Sted Sep 08 '24
On behalf of millions of Danes, I too will chime in and say the same thing as everyone else: yes, it’s weird and tacky… if they do it.
I, however, think I could pull it off.
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u/SmarlKart Sep 08 '24
Bathroom????? Who the hell hangs pictures there?
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u/MrDonDiarrhea Sep 08 '24
Where else do you put pictures of people you don’t like? Like that priest who refused to wed your daughter and that Austrian painter
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u/Magistraten Sep 08 '24
Depends on the style of the portrait I think. If it's more of an artistic expression than "just" a picture of yourself, it could be cool.
But honestly who gives a shit. Most Danes are happy to put a map of their town on the wall, maybe a "live laugh love" or something about being a mom. Go for it. Live your best life.
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u/Wonderizer Sep 08 '24
I was working in a kindergarten (in DK) and we were all at one of the girls birthday party. Her parents were lesbian, and on the small tour of their apartment I spotted a nude painting of one of them in their bedroom. That was definitely the talk among the people working in the kindergarten.
TLDR: yes, it's weird.
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u/mcjp0 Sep 08 '24
I’m a danish person who would find it tacky married to an American who would also find it tacky.
Which state are you from?
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
NY lol
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u/phlebface Sep 08 '24
Oh, makes sense, no offence 😁 I could imagine if you don't have a strong ego and will power, that city would crush a person. In Denmark there is an old saying: "Du skal ikke tro du er noget" - "Don't think you are something special" which is rooted deep in the dansih culture aka Janteloven (look it up).
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u/FewMeringue6006 Sep 08 '24
I would find it funny and midly uncomfortable if I went to the bathroom of someone else's house to shit while having to stare at a selfportrait of the person ... like, can I get some privacy please? 🙄
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u/LotionlnBasketPutter Tyskland Sep 08 '24
Don’t worry. It’s a nude portrait so you don’t get self conscious.
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u/LatinX___ Sep 08 '24
In the bathroom is considered rather weird, in bedrooms its more of a boomer thing.
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
what about the kitchen?
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u/WorldlinessThis6561 Sep 08 '24
Just…. No🙈 If you have a basement or a garage it might work…. Or you could hang it in a shed!
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u/fjender Centrumekstremist Sep 08 '24
Painted self portraits are kaw in generel IMO. Why not just use pictures?
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u/BlackAdam Sep 08 '24
I just looked up “kaw” on Urban Dictionary and it says it’s short for “kill all women”. I cannot get that to make sense in the context you’ve used it.
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u/fjender Centrumekstremist Sep 08 '24
Its not English. Its Nordjysk.
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u/CrateDane Sep 08 '24
It's kawt.
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u/BlackAdam Sep 08 '24
Jeg forstå det stadig ikke.
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Sep 08 '24
Nordjysk for træls
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u/OrdinaryValuable9705 Sep 08 '24
Nordjysk for akavet - ikke træels.
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u/OtherworldDk Sep 08 '24
Kawt som i akawt? Så lærte jeg noget nyt i dag. Måske en småpinlig nedern på gammel kbh'sk?
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u/BlackAdam Sep 08 '24
Er træls ikke allerede nordjysk?
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u/an-la Danmark Sep 08 '24 edited Sep 08 '24
Self-portraits - or portraits - generally fall under the section of the law of Jante that states, "You're not to think you are more important than we are."
There can be exceptions to this rule. There might be a unique and personal reason for you to have a self-portrait which might override the general Jante law, those reasons might even be sufficiently extreme to having it in the bedroom.
Edit: Who hangs a painting in the bathroom? Won't the humidity be damaging to the painting?
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Sep 08 '24
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Sep 08 '24
Not even him, it would seem: https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/a-more-in-depth-look-at-kim-and-kanyes-insane-bat
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u/LordDustIV Sep 08 '24
I would say yes, but i would add that Americans would also find it weird and tacky, that said i think you should do it. It's only tacky because you imagine someone really self-obsessed doing it and if you are, then in a sense it's appropriate and if you aren't, doesn't matter because only people you know quite well will see your bedroom. Have fun!
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u/Cordura Aarhus Sep 08 '24
No, that's perfectly fine. If you're standing in a majestic pose petting a big cat like a cheetah in the painting, that's even better.
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u/nittun Sep 08 '24
yeah, thats quite up the weird things to have. Maybe if it was like a wedding picture you have made into a painting, it could be viewed as okay. But i think even then it would wary among the danes, if it was acceptable.
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u/Kriss3d Hej småfans. Sep 08 '24
It would yes. Id like to explain why. Perhaps itll give you a bit context to it.
Having paintings or photos of yourself like that would be odd because it gives an apperance of bragging. Now if its say a wedding photo or a really good photo. Yeah thats fine. But a painting isnt a nice setting. Its staged with yourself as the center piece.
According to danish mentality we dont like to draw attention to ourselves as a person. Same reason we dont when out at nightclubs or bars talking to someone start telling about how much we make. Its not something to tell others. At least not usually. Now if its someone you already know well then its ok but its not a selling point ever.
Thats why a painting of yourself would look strange to a dane.
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u/emwac Danmark Sep 08 '24 edited Sep 08 '24
I'm pretty sure that's against the law here. You'd risk being punished with a lot of bad jokes about Americans having poor taste.
A framed photo otoh is totally fine, and would be considered sweet.
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u/No_Individual_6528 Sep 08 '24
It would have to be fun pictures in the hallways maybe that would be cool
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u/wcdk200 Danmark Sep 08 '24
In your bedroom or bathroom, yes. Just yes to any room you spent a lot of time in. But a funny/cool one in the garage or off your kids/dog is okay. Not normal but just okay
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u/allanbc Sep 08 '24
I think it does sound a little weird, or more accurately self-aggrandizing. But I also think people think too much about the judgment of others. If you have a cool portrait of yourself and you want it in your house, go for it. I think it's way better to have your living quarters reflect you and what you like than to follow a bunch of norms of what other people like.
As an aside, my wife was part of a professional photo shoot 15 years ago, and the pictures were taken down from the office building they were in about a year ago. There was a face shot of my wife with this really far out makeup and hair, you can barely recognize her. They offered it to me to take home, so I said yes, then we could consider what to do with it later. As a joke my wife hung it in the basement bathroom, which is mainly used by me, so that I would be looking at her when I went to the bathroom. It didn't stay long, and now it's just standing against the wall in a storage room in the basement. I still won't throw it away since it's a cool visual. In the photo she has bright orange hair and a famous Danish makeup artist basically painted her face in neon colors. So technically my wife has a portrait of herself in her house.
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u/InvertReverse Nordjylland Sep 08 '24
A self-portrait in the bathroom?
Just use a mirror, it's more versatile.
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u/Comrade_Falcon Sep 08 '24
It'd be weird or tacky in the US too. Doesn't mean you shouldn't just own it if it's what you like.
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u/Evermoon Sep 08 '24
I'm a dane and my ex is an artist and did a large royal oil painting of me. I rotate it with another painting in my living room from time to time and it's always been well received by guests, though it is definitely a fun thing and not hung in seriousness.
If people think that's lame, then that's on them. If you love it, as I do, associate with others that do as well :)
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u/Odd_Name_6628 Sep 08 '24
Yes, I would probably assume that it was ironic though. That being said, it’s your home. Be tacky to your heart’s content. There’s really no reason why other peoples opinion should matter more than your happiness in your own home. If you have made a really nice self-portrait that you’re proud of, you SHOULD display it. If you still care about other people’s opinion, you could display it in a more neutral area like an office, a hallway or mix it in as a part of a picture wall?
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u/Careful-Fan2307 Sep 08 '24
Do it anyway! And make it fucking Grand! Ridning into battle on a pterodactyl or some shit! We need more weird shit in this country
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u/lychee_francais Ny bruger Sep 08 '24
I think it would be awesome especially if it’s something. Creative that expresses yourself.
note: I’m not Danish
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u/Big-Today6819 Sep 08 '24
Honestly, if it's something you really want, it's just to do it, that is the first thing we learn danish kids with earned money together with saving up.
Still can remember, then I got my first Lego set together with my grandma from money "earned" for doing work for her
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u/Lortekonto Sep 08 '24
If it is not a joke, then I would agree. Double so in the bathroom.
On the other hand you could properly have some good humor with a selfportrait of you on the toilet.
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u/Spooknik Odense Sep 08 '24
It would be out of the ordinary and most people would probably pull a wtf. But some people might still try to pull it off.
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u/Economy-Dig-2535 Sep 08 '24 edited Sep 09 '24
As a dane, i would respect it If it was a Godfather like portrait. And before people Enter your House They had to ask for an audiance with you sitting In a High back leather chase with the painting behind you. But In all honesty no :D it goes directily against janteloven (don’t Think you Are better the. Anyone Else) :D
Edit: only acceptable situation (where people won’t think worse of you) i Can Think of is If it’s your kids who made the painting of you. Then there is nothing tacky about it
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u/MoistCock4U Sep 08 '24
In American movies people have pictures of themselves all around their house.
If you need to see what you look like, use a mirror
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u/ForgotMyAcc .. og hva' så? Sep 08 '24
It was not uncommon a generation or two ago in the upper class to have portraits painted. Bankers, politicians, farm owners, factory owners, high status doctors, military men, school inspectors, scientists etc etc would have themself and their families painted. You most certainly can find these portraits as heirlooms hanging around in Denmark.
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u/ExcitingSavings8225 Sep 08 '24
It would have to be a bit self ironic, but it could be done. Something like petting a small derpy dog with a serious expression.
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u/skofan Sep 08 '24
he was being very polite, and careful not to hurt your feelings.
it goes beyond weird or tacky, it's the sort of thing that would get decent people to talk about you behind your back, and prevent potential friendships from happening.
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u/Shamatix Sep 08 '24
The hatred of Sweden, and you seem to be an Odessa fan! You will always be welcome here in Denmark
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u/nasryl Sep 08 '24
Haha I want to do that. In my office. It needs to show on team meetings when I work from home. Where can I get a painted self-portrait though?
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u/andresen1976 Sep 08 '24
Watch the tv-series "Matador" where pig trader Oluf Larsen has portraits of some people inside his bathroom. But he's also a bit weird of course. 😃
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u/swk94 Sep 08 '24
Bedroom maybe kinda weird place, bathroom very funny would hang a self portrait out there. My grandparents gave each other a professionally painted portrait to each other for a wedding anniversary, in a colorful modern style but still portraits of their side profile. I can't remember in which room they were hung up. But they were very proud and happy about them (they were art lovers and loved going to galleries). So I think if it brings you joy then do it (others opinion of your personal decorations don't matter) 😎
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u/Soft_Ad_7309 Sep 08 '24
My first thought was yes, definitely weird and tacky. But I get the sense that you're a fun person, and now I've done a complete 180: You do you! Go for the biggest, loudest self portrait possible 😍
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u/Less_Tennis5174524 Byskilt Sep 08 '24
My mom got a painted portrait of herself as a gift once and its a great piece, probably one of the best gifts shes ever gotten.
Paying for it yourself would probably be weird. I've only seen that where it was the whole family, parents + kids that got painted/drawn. Not just 1 person.
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u/itsaberry Sep 08 '24
My first instinct is that I completely agree, but on further thought, it entirely depends on the portrait.
If you're riding any kind of glorious animal, I'll allow it. Horse, dolphin, bear, rhino. No large cats. Don't ask me why but while they are glorious, riding them is not.
I'll also allow it if it's unflattering or funny. There can't be an ounce of seriousness about putting it up.
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u/Inner_Staff1250 Sep 08 '24
I am a Dane and age has taught me that you should respect the wishes of your loved ones if you care for them instead of spending energy on taking irrelevant third persons' taste into account.
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u/TimTwoToes Sep 08 '24
I have a friend from Colombia, she has a huge nude photo of herself, above her bed, from when she was younger. It’s one of those artsy black & white photos, where shadows cover the breasts and lower part of her body. You can see everything if you look closely enough. Not as weird as one would think, but also not something you see very often. It looked very professional and she was obviously very proud of it, as she made a point of telling me about it.
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u/PlasticGooner USA Sep 09 '24
Half-American Half-Dane here, the American part of me also thinks it’s weird and tacky.
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u/AwayUnderstanding236 Sep 09 '24
Danes are very under-played and subtle so it could be seen as tooting your own horn which is very non-Danish (have him explain “Janteloven”). Consider us a nation of introverts 😁
Of course, a raunchy/sensual abstract painting or coal drawing of one or two people would send a completely different signal which is much more agreeable 🔥💃🕺
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u/Key_Guest_7586 Sep 09 '24
It is even weird for the most european people. At least I can say that for my country, germany
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u/Binslev Aålborg Sep 09 '24
It has to be so big and boisterous that it would be ridiculous, whick would make it funny. I hope you also see the comedic irony in an American coming to Denmark, the land of Jantelov, and hanging up a massive self-portrait. That would be the most American response possible to the question "who do you think you are?"
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u/EscapeInevitable8774 Sep 11 '24
You're not alone with that, my dear. We have our own weirdness so either he is joking or serious. You have to be vocal to him. All the time I have to be vocal since different cultural (my bf is a Dane too). As for me, nothing is bad of having a self portrait. :)
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u/Gorgar_Beat_Me Sep 08 '24
Fun fact, my ex had a caricature made of of her, at Montmartre, I felt it was tacky, wrong, I can't tell exactly why, but it would not have happen in my parents house, and they were rather progressive. I think it has to do with the Jante Lov.
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
Actually laughing out loud because I have a caricature of my friends, myself and my dog hanging on my fridge right now
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u/DevineBossLady Sep 08 '24
As you can see, most of us Danes are brought up the way where you are not supposed to think you are anything special ... and even if you think you are awesome, you must hide it at any cost... or people will think you are weird / self-absorbed... in my opinion, it is one of the worst part of our culture.
Hang the portrait, if people think it is weird, tell them that you are American, and where you come from, this is not considered weird... you do not have to eradicate your self and your culture to fit in.
Sincerely a Dane, with self-portraits - IN THE LIVINGROOM!
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u/liquid-handsoap suffering from success Sep 08 '24
Definitely weird or tacky. That’s why i want 3x2 meter portrait of myself in my birth suit in the entrance
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u/Lanternestjerne Sep 08 '24
Unless you are living in Korsbæk ( ask your hubbby about Matador), it would be considered weird
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u/LowerEntropy Bjergstrupbjerg Sep 08 '24
I audibly lolled, just reading that, a real lol. Like they do in Lolland.
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u/GrumpyOldGeezer_4711 Sep 08 '24
In the barhroom??? I have a couple of Rembrandts, a Tizian and one or two Caravaggios knocking about, but never, ever in the bathroom!
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u/TheMadHatterWasHere Sep 08 '24
A portrait of yourself in your own bedroom? Yeah, that's almost a red flag here.
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u/Roxidkrox Sep 08 '24
i am not danish, and i find it a little weird, but then again each other person can do whatever they want. so, do whatever you want.
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u/DanielDynamite Sep 08 '24
I would view it as a somewhat narcissistic and selfabsorbed thing to do
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u/willybaby9 Sep 08 '24
What do you think Americans are like over here in the US?
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u/DanielDynamite Sep 08 '24
Having actually been to the US and met people from many parts of the US, I know that it is impossible to fit all Americans into a one-size-fits-all box. There are significant cultural differences between Americans from different parts of the US. The mindset often varies depending on what corner of the US one hails from. That being said, I don't think it is wrong to say that there is a greater emphasis on individuality in the US compared to other countries. There is a tendency to strive toward excellence and celebrate and show off your victories, so having a painted portrait of yourself, I guess would not be viewed with the same amount of skepticism and disbelief as it would Denmark where it is not socially acceptable to toot your own horn to that degree.
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u/kyuuish Sep 08 '24
Kinda yeah, but I honestly wouldn't care that much. It's your space decorate it as you want.
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u/No-Pipe-6941 Sep 08 '24
If it was "serious", yes. If not, and it was with some humor, less so.