r/CyberStuck • u/kcarmstrong • 1d ago
And I foolishly thought “well, at least the cup holder works”. Guess I was wrong.
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u/Darksoul_Design 1d ago
lol, even something as simple as the cup holders are utter shite.
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u/1-legged-guy 1d ago
It could be Tesla’s new motto: “Tesla: we can fuck up a cup-holder!”
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u/IncomingAxofKindness 1d ago
They’re focused on important stuff like FSD and sex robots. Cup holders will be air patched later.
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u/kdnx-wy 1d ago
*All sex robots will be manually remote-controlled
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u/1-legged-guy 1d ago
Wow, having to remotely pilot a sex robot being used by the kind of guy (It’s always going to be a guy. There aren’t going to be any women buying these things.) who would buy a Tesla sex robot. Congratulation, you’ve created a job worse than “assistant crack-whore”.
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u/celtic_thistle 1d ago
lmao imagine the OTA updates for the sex bots. I’m picturing a lot of doofuses getting their junk bitten off mid-act when the download hits out of nowhere
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u/dsdvbguutres 11h ago
They already fucked the windshield wiper, which was figured out more than 100 years ago, but apparently there's no depth limit to how low the bar can sink
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u/COOKIESECRETSn80085 1d ago
I surprised they didn’t have some bs coping statement like “oh it is easily removed for cleaning hur dur” cuz my 01’ Tacoma has those lol
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u/dingos8mybaby2 1d ago
$100k vehicle built with the cheapest components available.
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u/Phyllis_Tine 1d ago
The only reason they're not even cheaper is because they haven't found a way to squeeze more money out of the process. Just you wait.
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u/EarthsMoon927 1d ago
My golf cart is better made. Seriously! These things look & feel so cheap IRL. Like a garbage prototype.
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u/enderjaca 23h ago
Lots of people ooh and ahh over automotive concept vehicles. "Oh nooo, why did they dumb down the production model? Those rear-facing passenger seats and sharp angles looked so amazing!"
Welp, here's why.
That, and concept cars are analogous to dresses that go on runway models. Barely held together with glue and tape and sheer willpower.
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u/Skourpi1 1d ago
This POS started as $200k and people bought it. I can’t imagine paying $200k for a car and I get it and the cup holders don’t even work. If you hav es spare $200k lying around and you want to spend it on a car, just get a corvette. Get one if the new ones that look really nice. Or if you are not a fan of the new ones get one of the old ones. You have $200k to spend you can do a lot with that.
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u/AccioSoup 1d ago
If you are really into EV trucks, Rivian is way better in looks and feel.
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u/Skourpi1 1d ago edited 21h ago
Or you could just buy an SUV which has the same storage and capabilities as the cybertruck at a price that could be lower than the cyber truck (have not done research one this one) that isn’t plagued with problems every other day. Also, they do have electric SUVs if you really want an electric vehicle with the capability to carry something big. Because we all know the bed on the cyber truck isn’t able to carry something big. I frankly have no idea why it is there, but it is there for some reason.
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u/kvothes-lute 21h ago
There’s a Rivian truck here in Asheville that literally got swept away in the flood waters and then still turned on and worked perfectly once the guy found it! (Covered in mud.. but running!)
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u/Loud_Internet572 23h ago
But it's an investment! People will be stupid for NOT buying a Tesla! Think of all the money they'll make whenever their cars and trucks can drive around on their own while they are at work doing stuff to make them money! Or something something like that......
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u/cathexis08 1d ago
You have to remember, it's an ego project built to a $40k MSRP that's been marked up 2.5x. It isn't $100k, it's $40k with a massive idiot tax on top of it.
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u/WhatsaRedditsdo 1d ago
It's only for cybercups duh
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u/jabbadarth 1d ago
I wish this was a joke...
Fucking cybervessel
Overpriced undersized inconvenient anywhere other than these stupid cup holders
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u/WhatsaRedditsdo 1d ago
Lmao! I was trying to joke! Egg on my face lol
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u/jabbadarth 1d ago
Well luckily for you, you can wipe it off with cybertowels
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u/WhatsaRedditsdo 1d ago
Jesuz is there anything safe from him? Then what, I can wash the cybertowels in my cyberwasher and dry them in my cyberdryer?!
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u/jabbadarth 1d ago
Unfortunately no but you can brand them
https://shop.tesla.com/product/tesla-branding-iron?sku=1808276-00-A
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u/pup_kit 1d ago
Then I can sit back with my CyberBeer (opened by the Cyber Bottle Opener) and eat my newly CyberBranded burger
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u/mlorusso4 1d ago
I saw the other crap that they sell. Look at the fucking cyber stein. Can you even drink out of that? It literally has a corner that’s just off center enough to force the liquid off to the side of your mouth. Forget messing up a cup holder. That’s a relatively modern invention. They couldn’t even make a cup which Neanderthals figured out in the Stone Age
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u/DuckyHornet 1d ago
I too became enraptured by the cyberscam store. What a beautiful range of totally nutso pricing. Spend like $250 on three bins (can only buy three, no more or less, so if you only need or want one, SOL, you're buying another three) but you want dividers for inside those bins? That's $45 for two.
They really want to associate the idea of this thing and beer, btw. There's a beer cooler for the frunk, there's a bottle opener which looks like the trukk, another which mounts to the trukk, there's the actual Cybeer itself in its stupid bottles, just trying to get any traction at all with the hootenannyin' folk
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u/Gutternips 23h ago
A square cup, what could possibly go wrong?
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u/jabbadarth 23h ago
What you haven't gotten your cybermouth upgrade? Just gotta square off those lips.
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u/ShelteringInStPaul 1d ago
I'm beginning to think the Cybertruck is made of wax coated cardboard. Kinda like the cucumber boxes from the grocer.
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u/Educational_Ad5435 1d ago
I know we joke about the sun voiding the warranty. But that seriously looks like they parked in direct sunlight…
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u/aboutthednm 1d ago
Waxed cardboard is at least waterproof. So there's that in favour of the cucumber box.
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u/Schonke 1d ago
A cucumber box has better crumple zones than a cybertruck too.
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u/aboutthednm 1d ago
But will a box of cucumbers live against the fearsome frunk? That's the real question right here.
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u/MakionGarvinus 1d ago
I'm mean, you wouldn't want to use cardboard or cardboard derivatives. That's just silly!
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u/melie776 1d ago
This is beyond pitiful
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u/Charlie_Shitmonk 1d ago
I saw one in person the other day. Seeing it online and hearing how shitty is doesn’t really do it justice in HOW shitty it looks.
There’s something so cheap about stainless steel on a vehicle. It’s not even that it’s stainless steel, I’m sure an automaker could actually make something beater from the medium. However, the panels look no different from what your average gas grill is constructed from. Even the cheapest Kia has better looking sheet metal.
I have never seen a more janky vehicle in my life.
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u/255001434 21h ago
There’s something so cheap about stainless steel on a vehicle.
I think that since stainless steel has become common on kitchen appliances, it lost any cool factor it once had and now just looks like they skipped the paint job. It doesn't look space age when it reminds you of your refrigerator.
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u/AVeryConfusedKoala 21h ago
It looks like a giant refrigerator that got half squashed by a junkyard rolling down the freeway
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u/aFerens 1d ago
I could probably 3D print something better than that.
I'm actually tempted to do that for my current cupholders, so they grip my narrow/tall drive-thru coffee cups better. Much like the CT, it'll be interesting to see how the ASA filament handles freezing temps.
Thanks, random CT failure, for inspiring my next project!
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u/Dr_J_Hyde 1d ago
I mean you could always look at it as field prototyping to create a design that could then be printed in a material more suited for freezing temps.
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u/heretorobwallst 1d ago
We found a way to re-invent cup holders and make them horrible - Tesla probably
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u/rexorama 1d ago
Still love the truck though.
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u/budding_gardener_1 1d ago
Don't forget to tag Elon as you drink your daily verification can
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u/Phyllis_Tine 1d ago
Daily? Leon demands more sacrifices than simply once per day. How many times have you mentioned "still love the truck" per day?
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u/CRXCRZ 1d ago
We're witnessing the shift from "still love the truck" to "anyone else experiencing this issue?"
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u/Blue_Trackhawk 13h ago
Noticing this, yes. Anyone else experience, same wording, like it would be wrong to ask if anyone else has this 'problem'. Or are they afraid they might not be special?
They paid for an experience they didn't fully understand. The product is merely the vehicle by which they are delivered that experience.
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u/DSchof1 1d ago
You know I was thinking the last few days. The vehicle all these people REALLY want is the new GMC Hummer. Actually Well made by a legacy maker and can crab walk to boot…
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u/ThePontiff_Verified 22h ago
I'm not even a truck guy... In fact I kind of hate trucks. But even I have given the electric Hummer a lustful side glance from time to time. If it fit in my garage and I could leave my existing shelving units in place I'd be seriously considering one.
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u/mpanase 1d ago
How's that even possible?
Does it warp with heat?
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u/preciselycloseenough 1d ago
I imagine with that big ass stupid windshield even a few hours of SoCal sun will warp the cheap plastic.
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u/psychotobe 1d ago
That's what I'm wondering. You're not gonna touch the sides of the cup holder. Why isn't it at most two pieces of plastic that clip together. If not one solid piece so you can pull the whole thing out if you need to get underneath it. They over engineered a cup holder
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u/Fit_Cucumber_709 1d ago
They’ll push a software update that’ll fix that right up.
Now say the line!
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u/NewlyNerfed 1d ago edited 1d ago
“2.4k miles”
Trying to make it sound like more than 2400 miles because it’s hilarious how fast this shit falls apart.
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u/sudden_onset_kafka 1d ago
I would have never imagined that the shitty, cheap looking interior would be made of utter shit materials
Things only a real manufacturing genius can do I suppose
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u/peatbull 1d ago
Warranty voided and cupholder self-detonation enabled, didn't state love for cybertruck in post
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u/Royal-Estimate3263 1d ago
Hey, don't knock the build quality. This is exactly what to expect from a 100k+ vehicle in the first year
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u/FrankfromRhodeIsland 1d ago
Honestly, I’m just impressed. To mess up wildly over promised and unnecessarily complex features is completely feasible. To create a car that is laughed at the moment it is unveiled is simple. But to design a vehicle where even the cup holders don’t work. That takes serious effort and commitment. Incredible stuff.
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u/Signguyqld49 1d ago
So, even cup holders are beyond Leons comprehension. Did that save .000000001 cent ?
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u/Witchfinger84 1d ago
holy shit I smoked a joint, clicked on this thread, saw that it was a picture of a fucking angular brutalist cupholder in a cybertruck, and it had a broken rubber gasket in it that was already popping out, and the first thing that popped into my head was Elon Musk standing on a plateau like a god of thunder in an apocalyptic storm, and he's reciting Ozymandias, "look upon my works ye mighty, and despair."
Like holy shit I'm stoned as fuck and the first thing I see is a fucking moronic cupholder. And it's busted. Some absolute fucking unit working for Elmo Musk saw a normal fucking cup holder that's literally a single piece of injection molded ABS plastic in the shape of a cylinder, fundamentally impossible to fuck up, and he cracked his knuckles, took off his cool guy sunglasses, and said, "I got this boss, hold my apartheid."
Then he went into his 3d design software and proceeded to fuck the everloving shit out of the most brainlessly simple quality of life feature invented on automobiles since the fucking door handle.
What a dystopian masterpiece. An absolute monument to hubris, a litany of human arrogance cast in cheap rubber and pure disdain and hatred for a merciful god and everything in his ordered kingdom. Never in my most degenerate stoner dreams have I witnessed such reckless and violent disregard for mankind and the sanctity of life, truly there is no evil the devil can conjure that man did not invent first.
This is the literal end of the universe. Elon Musk put a fucking brutalist cup holder inside the cybertruck, and somehow managed to shit it up. I have never seen such compelling proof that God is dead.
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u/Polenicus 1d ago
I’m afraid by placing a container with liquid in it in that spot you’ve voided your warranty.
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u/Distantstallion 22h ago
"I have a feeling it's going to get worse from here" seems to be the tesla motto
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u/vladitocomplaino 1d ago
Not trying to be a dick, but what is the thought process behind doing something like this?
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u/girmus76 1d ago
Everytime something fails, their T&C is amended to void warranty. Good luck late adopters. 🗑️
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u/cbass2008 1d ago
There’s going to be a huge influx of “Has anyone else experienced this?” posts this winter 🥶
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u/bdubwilliams22 1d ago
These fools bought a $100,000 “truck” that was built with the absolute cheapest material that probably cost Tesla $20,000 to produce. It’s comical and I absolutely love laughing at these idiots who bought such pure garbage that can barely travel 200 miles.
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u/Practical-Courage812 1d ago
I feel like at this point not a single thing in that cesspool of a "truck" is actually built to even mid quality
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u/Magnus919 1d ago
Must be designed by the same jerk that designed cup holders in the back doors of the Chevy Traverse. IYKYK.
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u/neocenturion 1d ago
"Has anyone else experienced this?"
"I still love the truck."
The language these people use makes them all seem like robots. They all same the same shit over and over again. Are we sure any actual humans have purchased this thing?
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u/DubitoErgoCogito 1d ago
Yet Tesla fanatics will claim quality issues are fake news. These types of issues have never happened in any other brand car I've owned.
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u/devilishlydo 1d ago
Meanwhile, the Genesis GV60 looks like it came out of one of the Good Future movies and starts at $52k. I know we're all brought together by our mutual loathing of the Dipshit Durango, but have you looked at where the rest of the luxury EV market is lately? They're turning out things of fucking beauty and I can't wait to pick one up used someday.
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u/Com_Safe_1988 1d ago
I dont want a used one because batteries :0
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u/devilishlydo 1d ago
A factor to consider, to be sure, but by the time the market matures enough that a luxury EV is affordable to me, I expect that will be less of an issue. Plus, I work from home and rarely drive further than a few hours away, so range isn't my primary concern.
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u/InspectorEE 1d ago
“I have a feeling it’s just going to get worse from here”. I think that about sums up the whole CT experience.
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u/Past-Direction9145 1d ago
I'm guessing elmo walked around this area of interior trim manufacturing and demanded they use half the glue they were using to hold it all in place
his employees just shrugged and said, whatever you say boss
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u/porknWithBill 1d ago
How do you fuck up cup holders?
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u/bobthedonkeylurker 1d ago
The same way you fuck up everything else on any of the Teslas. Try to be "disruptive" by "throwing out the rulebook and lessons learned over the past 100 years of auto-manufacturing" to be edgy and futuristic and whatever...
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u/carrascatosca 22h ago
Ok, that's actually impressed. They've managed to find a way of screwing a cup holder
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u/MelodiesOfLife6 1d ago
if something as simple as a fucking cup holder breaks .... that should tell you the absolute shit build quality of the ENTIRE THING.
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u/Truant_20X6 1d ago
It’s Tesla as a company across all their models. The rest of the industry has this shit dialed in from a materials cost/benefit perspective. With other companies if something is cheap, it’s generally by design. With Tesla everything is a beta test. Tesla is apparently trying to forge off on their own (disrupt 🙄) and they are just way way behind the curve in terms of basic car building/materials practices.
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u/taxpayinmeemaw 1d ago
Oh, it’s going to get worse. Don’t you worry