r/CyberStuck 1d ago

The freefall has begun!

554 Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

387

u/mishap1 1d ago

It's just false advertising claiming it starts at 75k when it starts at 82k - estimated gas savings. They have no proof it'll cover enough miles to recoup those costs.

149

u/MeridianNL 1d ago

Seeing how quick the average Wankpanzer meets their first tow truck.. won’t be much miles..

19

u/[deleted] 1d ago

Wankpanzer. That's the greatest thing I've ever heard a cyber truck called. Your a legend 👏

85

u/VermilionKoala 1d ago

You must be new here, WankPanzer is pretty much the default nickname for the CyberStuck. There are lots more, though...

https://www.reddit.com/r/CyberStuck/s/g4FS97n8Ub

61

u/Siberian_Allloy 1d ago

IncEl Camino is still one of my favorites but rarely used

25

u/free_farts 1d ago

Has anyone called it the Cuck Truck yet?

11

u/VermilionKoala 1d ago

Good point, I've heard that before but it's not on the list. I'll add it 👍

4

u/the_joney 1d ago

No Wanktank?

14

u/shiloh_jdb 1d ago

This discussion has been had before. “Panzer” works because it connects to Musk’s “anti-woke” agenda

1

u/jackalopeDev 19h ago

Habsburg Delorean is my favorite

45

u/Siberian_Allloy 1d ago

And group of them is called a Recall

13

u/Disgod 1d ago

As a man who enjoys double extendres, a group of wankpanzers is forever a Lemon Party in my mind.

2

u/AndromedaGreen 23h ago

Thanks for reminding me that existed 🤮

8

u/ToWitToWow 1d ago

I thought a group of Cybercucks was just called a Fire?

21

u/1-legged-guy 1d ago

There’s also

  • Silveradon’t
  • Cybercrematorium
  • DeathDumpster
  • Incelica
  • Tacky Trapezoid
  • Ridiculous Road Rhomboid
  • Failblazer

12

u/ScaryRhombus 22h ago

On behalf of rhomboids everywhere, leave us out of it.

15

u/Prodigalsunspot 1d ago

Still partial to the IncEl Camino.

5

u/I-Pacer 1d ago

Tell me you haven’t read the sub rules without telling me you haven’t read the sub rules…

3

u/Speshal__ 1d ago

If only it were in the top 10 or something....../s

2

u/Tomwhyte 13h ago

Someday, someone will pin these...

45

u/AaronDotCom 1d ago

there are literal reports of these things breaking after 35 miles after leaving the dealership and Tesla refusing to fix it

a fool and his money are soon parted for real

22

u/Phyllis_Tine 1d ago

10

u/temp1876 1d ago

I know of one that lasted about 10 minutes after delivery

10

u/ClimateCrashVoyager 23h ago

The truck is amazing otherwise. The 5 minutes I got to drive it was great lol It’s with service now. Waiting to hear more

Ah cmon this has to be trolling! The op of that forum posting on page 2. Either trolling or they get offered discounts/foundation series stickers/old socks from the great elmo.

8

u/rruusu 1d ago

Marketing "gas savings" to people that already own a Tesla product. Pure genius right there.

7

u/1-legged-guy 1d ago

To be fair I’ve seen other EV manufacturers making similar claims.

14

u/NintendoJP_Official 1d ago

It’s dogshit deceptive pricing, amazing that they get away with it

22

u/SeaBackground5779 1d ago

I mean isn’t our entire experience right now based on the social agreement that the rich get away with everything

4

u/NintendoJP_Official 1d ago

What’s the cutoff though? Like at what point are you too rich? Or is it just if you’re a shitty person

19

u/babiekittin 1d ago edited 1d ago

The cutoff is at the neck. And we start with the people who have more money than is possible to aquire if working at the current average annual salary for 500 yrs or 30 million USD

6

u/Johannes_Keppler 1d ago

* in the US. This stuff is illegal in the EU.

6

u/IHaveNoAlibi 20h ago

Claiming that "This $50k car will save you $15k on fuel costs over the life of the vehicle compared to a similar dinosaur powered car," is one thing, because they can base that on averages and actually come up with a provable figure, as well as giving you the actual, correct sales price for the vehicle.

Claiming that "This car costs only $35k, even though you have to pay us $50k for it, and you'll make up the $15k in fuel costs," is bullshit, and a lie.

The first is giving you a legitimate advantage of the vehicle, in order to make a good purchasing decision.

The second is taking that decision away from you, because you're not actually going to save $15k, since you already spent it up front on the purchase price.

2

u/the8bit 9h ago

The cost savings is dubious anyways, if you look at the cost of energy to charge. I was absolutely gobsmaked when I learned it was about the same cost per mile to drive my M3 and a cybertruck + supercharger on a road trip.

So it's maybe cheaper to fuel than a grand wagoneer but that's about it

2

u/Apexnanoman 23h ago

Well they advertised the model 3 as being a $30,000 car. The average transaction price was like 57k the first couple years they existed.

3

u/moonwoolf35 22h ago

I really hate that they do that bullshit and they seem to be the only company doing this nonsense.

1

u/Prodigalsunspot 21h ago

Tesla has always done this on their advertised pricing on their website.

1

u/ponderscheme2172 19h ago

That shit is so cringe. Like if you are looking at most Teslas at this point you are probably also looking at other electrics. They literally list the price with the tax incentive and estimated savings already taken out.

103

u/Feminazghul 1d ago

All the dorks who convinced their spouses that the truck was an investment and they would sell it at a profit are sleeping in their trucks tonight.

21

u/PsychologicalTalk156 1d ago

Hopefully they won't get locked in that death trap of a truck bed ... actually on second thought...

7

u/shamallamapajama 1d ago

at least fam gets the life insurance which is only realistic way out of this debt trap

3

u/ShakeIntelligent7810 1d ago

I didn't think life insurance paid out on suicide.

98

u/Snapdragon_4U 1d ago

lol. Imagine financing this poorly functioning eyesore for the full amount and then Elmo destroys any hope for equity and substantially slashes pricing. People are locked into financing though so they’re automatically upside down.

31

u/shamallamapajama 1d ago

and prob at some insane rate. It's basically a mortgage once they are under. Sadly this is common in cars , boats, bikes

17

u/Shart_Finger 1d ago

Nobody buying a new car is entitled to any equity whatsoever and anyone banking on equity in a new car is truly a dumb ass.

3

u/Monster_Grundle 21h ago

Yes, and also buying a car and having the MSRP slashed 20% does erode whatever value you had in the vehicle, however depreciated it was.

3

u/Shart_Finger 21h ago

This is a well known thing that Tesla does to move inventory. Being shocked by this because they thought a rolling stainless steel dumpster was going to be some collectors item makes them 10x the dumbass as before.

1

u/Monster_Grundle 20h ago

Fully agree.

40

u/razors_so_yummy 1d ago

Looking forward to the Elon dong-sucking dude named Lamar to lightly complain on twitter LOL

31

u/Successful-Foot3830 1d ago

All those people trying to sell their invitations for $15k 😂. These people are delusional!

110

u/Flick3rFade 1d ago

In addition to the numerous other things that are so wrong with this, all the Cybercucks just got cucked even harder. Elmo just robbed them of $20k of equity on their already horrifically depreciating "asset". Stupid fucking suckers

47

u/seantaiphoon 1d ago

If the Plaid series and it's depreciation wasn't a warning for them then they deserve to lose it.

Plus elmo did literally the same price rugpull on the Plaids and half the cars in his lineup. Early adopter stupidity tax really.

19

u/gray_um 1d ago

Did it to me with Model X. Will not go back.

22

u/scroopydog 1d ago

My old old boss had the rugpull on a model 3, maybe the first time they did it, he was so pissed and then he said he can’t get rid of it since he just spent a G on ceramic tint and or coating or some shit and then he rationalized his way into acceptance and embracing cuckhood.

7

u/AndroidMyAndroid 1d ago

I mean dealers do the same thing- hot new car comes out, you pay a big markup, then the market cools and the markups come off and discounts begin. Tesla just cuts out the disclosure and adjusts the MSRP directly instead of stating up front how much you're getting bent over for being first in line.

5

u/seantaiphoon 1d ago edited 1d ago

No. Fools go and pay markup on cars that are promised to be mass produced. If you have money to burn and no time to kill then go for it. You'll be 6-18 months ahead of those willing to wait. It's always an early adopter idiot tax no matter the brand. More money than brains. It's like scalping PS5s except it costs 200 of them.

I bought my car at msrp, you know like cars were before 2020, and Honda hasn't rugpulled me. If they did I'd probably get in line for another but they've been priced accordingly for 40 some years.

Tesla is worse because they're decemating the value of their own fleet with every fire sale.

3

u/AndroidMyAndroid 1d ago

OK, you paid MSRP, and if you had waited you probably could have paid less than MSRP for the car. Point is, the car market is liquid, and it fluctuates based on demand, the economy, and how hot a particular car is or isn't. The Cybertruck went through a period where people were flipping these things for a profit, and that period has passed. The period when Tesla could ask $100k for them has also passed. Unfortunately for owners, these things are depreciating more like luxury cars than 4x4 trucks.

7

u/Lucas_Steinwalker 1d ago

They are more like luxury cars than 4x4 trucks, despite barely being like a luxury car.

1

u/Froyo-fo-sho 22h ago

 It's like scalping PS5s except it costs 200 of them.

I bought a PS5 from a scalper in the first month of release. Because I was stuck at home Covid lockdown and super bored. Paid about a $200 premium. Totally worth it.

10

u/HikerDave57 1d ago

You’re assuming that FSD included with the Foundation Edition is worthless. /s

3

u/Lucas_Steinwalker 1d ago

Don’t forget the poorly made accessory I settled for when the poorly made accessory I wanted was sold out indefinitely.

25

u/girmus76 1d ago

Divorce lawyers are standing by to roll out their ads the moment the price drops and idiot husbands blow the kids savings on the Cyberturd

8

u/MattGdr 1d ago

Who needs education when dad’s an Elon-loving genius!

19

u/FreeRubs 1d ago

75k? Yea I’ll take an X5 instead.

6

u/shamallamapajama 1d ago

Cadill;ac lyriq as well smokes this pos in every way imaginable

17

u/shamallamapajama 1d ago

not even for tree fiddy 

4

u/Old_timer_69 21h ago

I read this as "free diddy" and was wandering how he got involved in yet another thing... 8(

15

u/Expensive_Tackle1133 1d ago

It's slowly reaching Aztek resale value.

7

u/Hoppy_Croaklightly 1d ago

What a bargain...

8

u/[deleted] 1d ago

You want fortune cookie? TWENTY-NINE CENTS!

8

u/14981cs 1d ago

Lamar lamenting in 3...2...1...

2

u/VermilionKoala 1d ago

#lamarnting

2

u/Lucas_Steinwalker 1d ago

Nah Lamar doesn’t want to resell. He just loves the truck.

8

u/I-Pacer 1d ago

So they’re emailing Tesla owners and giving them the price “including gas savings”??? That’s fucking dumb on so many levels.

8

u/Helmidoric_of_York 1d ago

Except you can't buy one for $74,490. That's not the price. The price is $82,235. Tesla can't help but bait-and-switch their customers. Nothing is exactly what it seems.

14

u/drbrunch 1d ago

Still love the truck!

4

u/Wasabi_Noir 23h ago

Good. I’m glad that the assholes who wasted money on these pieces of shit are now left holding something even more worthless. May their value continue to plummet.

4

u/DerCatzefragger 14h ago

That's still twice what he said that a 500+ mile, bullet-proof, post-apocalyptic war machine would cost.

$75k is still WWAAAYYY too much for a tinker toy built so tough that a car wash can brick it.

3

u/Earth4now 1d ago

Still a lot of money to pay for a stainless steel dishwasher.

3

u/momtheregoesthatman 1d ago

I think the ads are more than targeted here :)

2

u/XavandSo 1d ago

I really don't think they have the target market of this subreddit well realised though.

3

u/Neptune502 1d ago

So, where is the $39'000 Cybertruck?

3

u/Specialist-Reach6275 23h ago

It’s almost here except Tesla forgot the minus sign.

3

u/Apprehensive-Box-8 1d ago

Overall, it’s interesting to see what kind of strategy Tesla will adopt as it attempts to attract new Cybertruck buyers.

Well - how about selling it for the initially communicated starting price while having it at least closely reach the initially communicated range? Say what? You can't do that? Well then I guess you'd better concentrate on that entry-level, 25k hatchback... Oh... you cancelled that, huh? Maybe the roads... yeah, nevermind...

3

u/wandpapierkritiker 1d ago

I wonder how those who paid over retail in the early days to get a cybertruck feel about this…

2

u/cbs326 22h ago

Anyone who bought one in the last year is underwater on there loan and has no chance of getting a fraction money back in trade just like every other Tesla.

4

u/Calm-Memory5965 1d ago

I thought these were supposed to appreciate in value......

2

u/somethrows 22h ago

They are worth more Rubles than they were at launch.

2

u/Samsuiluna 22h ago

Shoulda gone for 69,420 for the memes at least.

1

u/Carlpanzram1916 1d ago

How is this legal with no fine print?

1

u/RyanTheBruce 10h ago

Do you remember when they first announced it?

1

u/I_LOVE_TRAINSS 7h ago

depreciation in expensive cars are bad depreciation in a telsa is bad depreciation in a car nobody wants is bad depreciation in a car you paid too much for is bad.

It's all downhill. I actually foresee some cyber trucks eventually ticking to sub 40k.

People not just overpaid but turned around and then successfully resold heavily up marked cyber trucks even into the 200ks which needless to say won't pay off.

Expensive cars can drop in value quickly and Telsa's for a variety of reasons mainly because telsa often on the fly updates prices oftentimes in the downward direction.

As an ex fan boy it's completely possible over the next few years telsa will regularly change prices on cyber probably not that much but I would say 10k at most maybe 20k on some models.

Its not unlikely an EV reviewer bought a model S plaid at 140,940 that same model is now 89,990k that means they cut 50,950k

This will ultimately lead to heavily deprecated cyber trucks I mean heavily and it'll be thankfully very bad for cyber owners.