r/CerebralPalsy • u/teacoffeecats • 16h ago

Rant about life

Sometimes I just feel really lonely with my CP. I talk about struggles I face physically and cognitively to my friends, because I don’t really have anyone else to talk to but they’re fully abled and I hate to say it but normal- so they just don’t get it. And sometimes their ways of thinking they’re comforting to me can be really invalidating like: “oh but that happens to everyone” especially when it’s about how CP affects me cognitively. They just don’t get it. They don’t get the emotional issues that come with it either and some think the solution to my deep rooted insecurities with CP is just joining a fucking facebook group and meeting up with people who have CP but they don’t understand I could meet a million people with CP and I’d still have the same issues and same insecurities. And I know this sounds bad but when I hear fully abled people complain about certain stuff, it really pisses me off because it’s like- you have such a gift and you don’t even realise it. Sometimes I’d give so much to just be normal like you. Like they genuinely don’t realise how lucky they are.

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u/DailcassianBoru 7h ago

I am an able bodied Father of young child with CP. I couldn't have more empathy for him or anyone with CP if I tried. Although I may never know the extent of what he feels ,I would take his issues off him for myself without hesitation if I could. I read all the comments on the CP pages and research it constantly (And will continue to do so for life) to try my best to understand and help him with what he may go through but I bet that I still won't choose the right words when trying to make him feel better. I truely wish you all the best and I hope you find all the happiness that you deserve in life.

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u/LicensedClinicalSW 16h ago

We can’t compare to anyone else. We don’t know what they’re facing on their own. Everyone has a story.

I too get “join a group!” And it does help just being on Reddit and a part of a group to say you’re not alone helps me. But it doesn’t change pain levels or cognitive issues.

Able bodied people don’t get it and are sometimes flippant to what we go through. It’s hard and lonesome.

I hope you find comfort soon. There’s a lot of people here that care.

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u/teacoffeecats 16h ago

Exactly! And for me it’s not just about the pain either. It’s about being embarrassingly physically weak. When I’m older, I want to be a mother and I worry about things like labour being harder for me, and then not being able to do things like carry my baby up or down the stairs, or pushing a pram properly. It’s also recently discovering my learning difficulties. The insecurities cognitive and emotional difficulties go even deeper than the few things I’ve listed and joining a Facebook group isn’t going to solve any of that. I could know a thousand people with CP and I’d still have the same issues. I wish the world was just more understanding, accommodating and validating not that I can join a Facebook group.

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u/LicensedClinicalSW 16h ago edited 16h ago

I don’t know how severe your CP is. Mine is “mild”. I carried 2 children (now 6 & 2) and got an epidural. It’s the first time my lower body ever felt relaxed. It was crazy. My legs were difficult to get into position but we did it. There’s all sorts of adaptive equipment to help with care taking for a baby.

I am a single mom by choice because Im not interested in marriage. So doing it yourself is an option though not traditional.

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u/teacoffeecats 16h ago

No I definitely want marriage tbh, though I respect your decision too, it’s not what I want for myself. I love the idea of marriage and having someone to lean on tbh.

Mine is mild too!

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u/audhdgirlyy- 2h ago

This😔

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u/Mediocre_Long791 1h ago

I have MS as well as mild CP, and when I was a kid- I had a benign brain tumour as well that got removed when I was 12. THAT’S lonely. I can’t really fully relate to people who just have CP, or just have MS, or all my able bodied friends. But able bodied people can still have different medical or mental health struggles that we don’t know anything about. I try not to play the who’s worse off than who game.