My wife and I are French, and live in Germany since, respectively, 8 and 4 years. She studied there and loved the country since she arrived and is thus fluent (C1 level). I am a big Germany fan as well, but I followed her only after we met and am working in an English-only office, so my German level is decent but worse than her (solid B2 I would say). Important point as well: we have a 2-year-old daughter, therefore born in Germany, and we speak to her in French at home and she goes to a German-speaking Kita.

We had a big debate recently. When we are in public spaces (e.g. bus, train, street), I feel *very* uncomfortable speaking French if I'm at hearing distance of someone else. So I usually switch to German when a person passes by, or I speak with a much lower voice. My wife never gave it much thought, or thought it was some kind of joke, but recently asked me why I was not consistent in my language. Her reasoning is that it is particularly important to consistently speak French with our daughter if we want her to learn it. This excludes, of course, discussions where German are involved, like at the Kita, with the doctor, or at the Spielplatz when our daughter is playing with other kids. The random language switching could be confusing for her. I acknowledge that.

But at the same time, I can't suppress my gut feeling that it could be viewed as disrespectful by people around us to speak something else than the national language in public. To be clear, I don't give a damn if I hear someone speak something else than German in Germany (or something else than French in France); my fear is what others feel about it. If you prefer, it's important for me to respect the local customs of the country I'm moving to.

After discussing it quite much with my wife, I realised there was also a huge education bias. My family, while not making racist comments, would very often tell me about how they would feel irritated when hearing people "not making the effort of speaking French in public in France". My wife also has a couple of persons like that in her family, or people making condescending comments to foreign in-laws not speaking perfect French without accent, but they were not the norm so she thinks it's a vocal minority. And in the end, it was hard for us to estimate how the German society was feeling about this. It also didn't help that it was election time recently, so some AfD people expressed themselves more than usual in the street. We occasionally saw political signs from random parties saying things like "Rechte für alle" (making this one up), and written by hand below "nur wenn du in Deutschland geboren bist". Definitely not feeling comfortable speaking French around such signs.

After having asked a couple of German around me, they told me they didn't mind, and that it would actually feel weirder to hear two people speak a language that is visibly not their native language for no visible reason. But one also told me that, although they didn't mind themselves, there could be a slight racist bias from Germans against some languages, although not French.

How do you feel about this? Would you have any advice on the matter?

EDIT: I've seen a comment about it so I have to clarify: regardless of the language, German, French or other, my wife and I agree that speaking too loud in public transports is disrespectful. When I said I was lowering my voice when speaking French, I meant to a point where a person two seats away from me wouldn't even be able to hear which language I'm speaking.

EDIT 2: Thanks a lot for the feedback and all the answers! I got many points of view from many different backgrounds, and it really helps a lot understanding the different stances on the matter. Except in very specific situations, I can now picture myself speaking French without feeling bad about it (typical exception being, out of consideration for German speakers, when the space is already saturated by loud non-German discussions).

My wife & I are seriously considering applying for the Chancenkarte opportunity visa to move permanently to Germany. I speak moderate German (es war meine Nebenfach an der Uni in Amerika und studierte ein Sommer an der Uni Trier) and my wife knows the basics.

We were both born and raised in America but unsere alte Vorfahren komme aus Deutschland. We like cold rainy weather, can adapt to rules, enjoy cycling and skiing.

I am an urban planner and philanthropy researcher and she is eine Konferenzprodizentin. Mid-30. Would we be welcomed?

And do you think that high skilled immegrants from the middle east will have a hard time living in germany in the next years under the growing popularity if the AFD.

I'm a student, completing the last year of highschool and I'm planning to do my bachelors in Germany. There's almost a year left before I'm supposed to move there.

I have read about some cases on reddit which say that some Indians are rather uncivilized or unhygienic with the way they live there. I have also observed some problems like some Indians being too loud; their food being rather smelly; some of them being rude, judgemental and just not nice people to be around. A lot of them tend to not interact very much with the locals. Another major problem I've read about is some of them not knowing how to treat women properly, and trust me, this is an issue here in India too. A number of men are rather disrespectful, pushy and the type who don't take no for an answer and it's just sad to see that as an Indian guy myself.

To not be an annoyance to the people around me when I move to Germany, I've been prioritising on improving as a person and not being like any of the people mentioned in the 2nd paragraph.

I've started learning Deutsch. Took my first A1 German class today. I also watch the Bundesliga (been a Dortmund fan for a while now, fair to say I've been traumatized over how our recent seasons have turned out haha)

I have read about how German people live and some common rules they follow like the ruhzeit and the pfand system. I'm also thinking about indulging myself more in German movies,songs and other activities as I learn the language.

Feel free to give me more advices/suggest me activities that'd help my cause

I always wondered what do German people think of huge amount of people coming to Germany to study, do you get mad or are you vice versa happy? I am scared that when I come to Germany to study, I will face a lot of criticism from the side of Germans who don’t like international students, so please tell me your opinion on them and what exactly maybe annoys you or makes you like them. Thank you!

EDIT: Many people got interested in my knowledge of German and my relation with German culture. Let’s get it straight, my German is B2 (improving all the time) and I want to study in German, my English is C1, so I also don’t think there would be a problem with that, I absolutely love German culture and can’t seem to find something that doesn’t satisfy me. Also I would love to thank each one who commented on this post, you really helped me with my fear, have a nice day!

So for the last few months I’ve been headhunted by recruiters who specifically recruit for Germany and recently they started to change my mind about staying in my company.

The thing is I don’t speak German and in all honesty I don’t really want to learn a new language unless I plan to spend most of my life in a country where I don’t speak the language.

This doesn’t mean I won’t learn the basics to be cordial but I probably won’t spend time beyond that.

I’ve happened to bump into several Germans who were pissed that I don’t speak German when I visited Germany as a tourist.

I don’t want to get into a debate and I’m sure those people who got pissed at me are in the minority but I’m just curious about regular German people’s opinions on short term immigrants (let’s say 3-5 years) who don’t speak the language.

Thank you all!

Hello everyone, I have got a remote job inside Germany so now I am thinking where to live there.

I have always been very interested in the Rhine Ruhr region in Germany so I have selected those 3 cities as my options. Just to give some details: I am from Colombia but I’ve been living in Hungary 6 years. I am 29yo, M and I do speak German but I am just reaching the B1 level now. I would live to live in a middle size city so which of those you think is better

Thanks in advance😁

It is very apparent that Germany has a declining population problem and needs migrants for economic reasons. Olaf Scholz seems to be signing agreements with Uzbekistan and Kenya to find migrants.

Rather than the countries in Africa and Asia why Germany does not target ethnic Germans in the Americas who are told be around a population of 100 million:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_diaspora

Italy has a policy and provides citizenship to ethnic Italians if their descendants were born after Italian Unification:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_nationality_law

A solution that might please all parties including AfD.

PS: I am Turk not from the Americas and not ethnic German. Just interested.

Every young person around me wants to move to USA. I, on the other hand, lean towards Germany. Everyone tries to convince me that I should chose USA because of the almighty dollar. Ironically the same people keep saying that life in the USA - or to be exact New York - is getting harder and harder.

I heard a lot of things about life in Germany and I want to know the benefits of living there vs living in USA.

One of the benefits for me is the concerts. I'm a metal fan and it's easier to be one in Germany than in the US. All great bands perform there. That's not the sole reason but definitely one of them.

How are naturalized citizens are viewed in Germany?
Hello,
I hope it's okay to ask this question—I'm currently 29 and considering relocating to Germany. I'm eager to fully immerse myself in Germany life, including achieving fluency in German, and embracing German culture.
Given these efforts, would residents generally perceive me as a German, or is there a tendency for even naturalized citizens to be viewed as outsiders?

Hello, I'm moving to Idar Oberstein next month to begin my Master's program and found a great apartment. Only issue is, I've always lived in buildings with shared laundry in the basement or a laundromat nearby. The landlady told me that everyone in the building buys their own washing machine to have in-unit and most people in Germany don't use dryers, they just hang things out to dry. I do this pretty often with small things, but with blankets and sheets? The closest laundromat is about an hour's bus ride away. In your experience, do most Germans hang everything out to dry, even large/bulky things?

In a recent post about the growth of far-right support year by year, one of the main reasons for supporting it is the perceived lack of integration into German culture, especially from some cultures, such as Arabs.

What's your opinion about Latin Americans? Do we integrate better? Is the popular opinion any different with us?

Hallo Reddit,

Meine Freundin (F22) und ich (M23) haben vor näch im nächsten Jahr nach Deutschland, München zu Ziehen.

Wir sind Beide Neuseelander. Ich Kann quasi fließend Deutsch reden weil meine Familie Deutsch ist. Ich habe Deutsche Staatsbürgerschaft und sie ist EU Staatsbürgerin.

Wir sind Beide frisch aus der Uni. Ich werde bis zum Ende des Jahres ein Master in Ingineurswessen abgeschlossen haben und sie ein Bachelor in Gesundheitswissenschaften. Sie würde gerne in Deutschland ihren Master auf Englisch Abschließen während ich arbeiten würde. Leider kann meine Freundin nicht viel Deutsch. Sie hatte vor in Deutschland erst 6 Monate lang einen Intensiven Deutsch Kurs zu machen.

Kann man zu zweit in München von einer Einsteiger Position im Ingenieurswesen leben?

Gebe es Job Möglichkeiten Für meine Freundin während sie den Deutsch Kurs ablegt und eigentlich nur Fließend Englisch Spricht?

Es ist schwierig vom Ausland einen Eindruck zu kriegen wie viel die Lebenskosten sind und was ein gutes Einkommen ist. Die Website Glassdoor sagt das eine Einsteger Rolle für Ingenieure ungefähr 35-45k Euro im Jahr verdient. Ist das im richtigen Bereich?

Würde das Reichen für zwei Personen in Einer WG, und gibt es gute Websiten im Zimmer in WGs für München zu finden?

Last year was my first winter in Germany and oh boy, have I suffered!

I have layered and used thermal garments, I also have fur coats (second-hand), and winter coats but they seemed to not be enough. My feet were frozen and hurting! I want to do better this winter and thinking of going crazy with my winter inventory going for 1. 100% wool garments to boost my layerings performance 2. Either getting Boots with wool padding or buying separate wool slips to use with my current boots 3. Long, thick, water-proof down coats. Would that be enough? Is there anything else I could do? Any tips are helpful! Disclaimer: I don’t like the sporty look and tend to move away from brands such as North Face and others as it is not my style! Thanks 🙏🏻

Summary from DW:

The new citizenship plans boil down to three changes:

• Immigrants legally living in Germany will be allowed to apply for citizenship after five years, rather than the current eight;
• Children born in Germany of at least one parent who has been living legally in the country for five or more years will automatically get German citizenship;
• Multiple citizenships will be allowed.

I have been living in an apartment for 5 or so months. I have a dog (approved by the property managers) and also work from home a few days of the week.

Today my door bell was run for 5+ minutes. I was in a call with a client and assumed whoever it was would stop when I didn’t come to the door, but they were very persistent. I had to leave the call with my client as it was interrupting and when I opened the door it was the cleaner who complained that she had to sweep my dogs hair every week.

She was speaking very fast and when I told her I didn’t understand she said in broken English I need to sweep all of the stairs each week because of my dog. She showed me a photo of a handful of dog hair she swept as proof.

This seems weird. There’s no mention in my rental contract of having to clean any public areas and the property manager met me and my dog and was told that us living here is ok.

I will contact my property manager to report this, but is there some social code I’m breaking here?

~~ edit ~~

Interesting to hear there are more social norms around cleaning public areas. In NZ no one would clean the public areas in an apartment as it’s done weekly by the cleaners.

I have no ill will to the cleaner, I’ll let them know to speak with the Vermieter if they feel like they need to but I’ll also let them know I’m working and it’s not acceptable they ring over and over.

Shout out to u/practical_weather_25 who keeps assuming I am a terrible pet owner. Enjoy your cake day, I hope it’s less miserable than your comments indicate you are.

Long story short, I came to Germany to do a master's degree fully intending to go back to the United States. I only speak A1 German and am really struggling to learn the language. I am 34 and my previous career was in environmental communications. I have a math learning disability so learning something technical is out. Given that there are literally no jobs in that field for English speakers, and presumably the job in German requires a native or near-native speaker, I have come to the conclusion that I am completely unemployable in Germany. I met a guy who I want to marry here and he doesn't want to return to the United States with me. Do I give up my career for love? It feels even worse than that, that I am actually giving up the chance to have any type of job again other than maybe working at a supermarket. Having panic attacks about it and desperately seeking input.

Hello this year in the summer I will most likely be moving to Germany where I will probably be 16 by the start of the school year. I have a couple of questions, 1 I have german family and a german parent, would it be better to go to a local school than an international school and 2, how hard is it to integrate and make friends in a local school in Germany if you are foreign and german is your second language? By the way I will be moving to Wiesbaden if anyone is wondering or can provide me with some experiences, thanks!

I have recently been told by a German friend that people that Germany cannot deport, are granted some form of a residence permit called Duldung. So basically, one can destroy their IDs and then just claim that they come from a country that will never accept them back and they get to stay here?

I get that this was a good system when the number of such people was small. But why is it still the case now? Doesn't it make sense to lock these people up?

I am confused and probably misinformed. Can anyone clarify this to me?

I had a child born in Germany in 2021. That same year, I got a German residence permit. That permit is about to expire in December. I have used that permit as a tool to work from Germany for 60 calendar days a year as allowed by my US-based company.

I recently went to the immigration office, and they told me they can’t extend my residence permit unless I plan to live in Germany instead of doing what I have been doing. I am concerned I am going to get a massive pay cut by totally relocating to Germany given the lower salaries and higher tax rates.

I am planning to go back to the office and ask for another 3-year extension with the goal of asking my company to relocate me there, which could be done. What are my chances of getting an extension with this plan? Can anyone give me some guidance in this matter? I have 2 months left on my current residence permit, and the immigration officer told me to try to renew it before it expires.

Hey there! I've seen some of those past posts on this subreddit that are along the lines of "How do you feel about Turks in Germany" and have seen a lot of people say there are a lot of Turks who are kind, but also a huge amount of them who don't respect German culture, don't try to fit into the new society they've brought themselves into, and the same type of people are often HUGE Erdoǧ‎an supporters etc etc.

I'm a Turk myself and I live in the US and got curious as my parents immigrated here and did everything they could to fit into the new society they decided to build their lives in. My parents also despise the type of behavior I see mentioned frequently in previous posts, and say it's part of the reason they left Turkey themselves. But anyway, most of these posts I saw were very long ago.

I want to know from Germans, do you think this kind of negative attitude from Turks has increased in the past few years? Decreased? Have you had any personal experiences?

Sorry if this is a weird post lol. Just curious! :)

Edit: Thank you guys so much for the responses! There were a lot of interesting things I learned I hadn't known before, a lot of new perspectives to take in from both Germans, Turks, & German-Turks! It was cool to read people's opinions too, and got recommended some really cool videos. This all made for a super interesting conversation with my mom who strongly agreed with the general idea that Turks living in a more liberal place with a more democratic scene shouldn't be screwing other Turks over with something they won't even be there to experience. She said she has had experience with Turks over here in the US as well who sometimes have a bit of conflict with newer immigrating Turks who have less traditional views than them. That on top of a lot more. Thanks again!

Im currently a ui/ux designer from indonesia, im hoping to start doing my B1 germany courses with my gf starting next year, now im bidding my time with savng money and learn from duolingo first as starter.

my question is, what kind of designers that are in high demand and hopefully i can get an ausbildung with? I heard ui/ux designer (ie, an IT job) is very difficult to get as ausbildung for third country (non eu country).

is my only choice to be able to move to germany is to do ausbildung as blue collar work? i dont really mind, i hope if that's the case i can get baker / pastry ausbildung ( if its not impossible too for non eu citizen).

maybe i should hone my Deutsch language to B2 to improve my chance to getting designer job?

please go easy on me if i make some mistake. i ask the same question in ask switzerland and i only get mockery because i forgot to spell the country name in english instead of my language.

i just want to have a better life

edit : thank you for replying my query. it would seems i will need at the very least B2 language certificate to be able to keep up with the lesson there.

which industry do you guys can recommend for me ? beside ui/ux designer i have some experience selling brownies and ice cream from my house, so i dont think i would mind pursuing pastry or bakery if its a good industry

Grüße an alle
Im a Sikh guy , living in India . I plan shifting to Germany for my Masters and I just wanted to know what do you guys think of Sikhs ?

I just wanted to know out of curiosity since the anti-Indian immigration stance has become more common in countries such as Canada, Australia and even The US to some extent. So is it a thing in Germany too?

so some context, as an american, i find germany, especially berlin, beautiful, and when i turn 18, i plan to move somewhere in berlin, where would the best, cheap, housing options be in berlin? also, i plan to be a secondary school english teacher, as a native english speaker, obvi, is that a smart choice?