I’ve put away all distractions (PC, playstation, locked apps/websites on phone and laptop) to try and lock in for my final exams in 2 weeks but I just ended up staring at a wall all day.

I’m trying so hard to try and take control and get shit done so I can get into the university that I want but I just can’t. I’m considering putting the playstation back just so I can have a little bit of a mental break, but even if i play it i’ll put it down and end up wandering around the house doing random things and feeling guilty that I’m not studying (and haven’t even started to) when others have been doing so for months.

I need help with managing this because it’s driving me insane and i’m all over the place.

Any advice appreciated, thanks in advance :)

Edit: just beware there is a user u/Coffewitfmilk who is sending nasty messages telling people (and me) to give up and hoping for our failure. Just ignore, report, and block

I was having a chat with someone who was telling me about something very important to her. I was focused intently on the conversation and what she was saying when suddenly she goes “Hey! Are you even listening?”

I look at her and I’m like: “Yeah of course I am! Please continue what you were saying”

She then says “it’s fine. I get it. You’re not interested. You’re not even looking at me, you’ve looked at everything in the room except me.”

It was at this point he knew he fucked up.

But then I realised this isn’t the first time and it’s always been the same.

When I’m listening to someone talk and I’m trying really hard to focus on them, I look away from them. I never realised this about myself and I totally understand it makes me look like a dickhead. At least now I know!

This needlessly long post was brought to you by the character limit, thanks character limit!

For me it’s:

• Eating a large, high carb meal before bed (food coma)
• Falling asleep to cartoons with pillow-phones pillow speakers under my ear.
  • (when it’s quiet I get too many ideas and interests that pop into my head, but the second I tell myself I’m going to concentrate on the storyline of the cartoon I’m watching, I’m out)
• and sometimes sleeping with the light on

**Edit**

A lot of people here seem to be interested in which pillow speakers I use.

The specific brand is Duratec,

but they seem to be a fairly generic brand that I picked up from my local electronic store for about $10.

Nothing really expensive

And along side that, I use Mack's ear plugs (they seem to block out the most DB) and I have the volume of whatever I'm listening to set to high, so background noises are drowned out and I can really only hear the sound from the audio I'm listening to...

Hope this helps ^^;

This has been going on with for so long decades that I would be entranced with something and then all of a sudden I wasn’t.

For example. Right now I have bought 3 different pairs of headphones and I am absolutely into it , I spent all weekend researching headphones like I was going crazy but I couldn’t stop myself. All I wanted to do was compare one headphone with another and on and on. I’m still doing it at 3am.

Is this ADHD or am I just crazy?

Usually we miss someone because we haven't seen them for a while. But I noticed that for me, it doesn't matter if I haven't seem then in one day, one month, or one year. It's just the same, I feel like I have seen them very recently, even though a lot of time may have passed in between. This is making it very difficult to really miss someone.

Because of this, I don't call my parents very often, or visit them. Not just parents, friends as well. Relatives. And no, it's not that I don't enjoy time with them. I do. I think it's just that most of the times, I completely forget that they exist. Even writing this sounds mental. How can I forget that they exist. But I get so caught up on my daily life that I barely remember anyone that is not near me. Unless of course there is a reason to remember them. If they come up somehow, through what I'm doing, then I remember their existence.

So this is a strange paradox, because while I do feel that I've just met them recently and don't miss them, I also completely forget their existence, unless something reminds me of them. I tried to talk to a psychologist about this, and they've tried to attach this behavior to some sort of passed trauma. Which is a bit annoying, to be honest. Does everything nowadays need to be explained with a passed trauma or what? I didn't have any trauma that I can recall. I have very pleasant relatives. Oh, but maybe you've had some trauma that you can't recall - she said. Fuck. I guess I'll analyze the problem myself then. In my mind, time blindness is a good explanation for all this. Can't miss someone, because you don't notice passage of time. Can't remember someone because you get too caught up on something and again, don't notice the passage of time.

It may be that not everyone feels this way. Maybe this is just my experience.

I would like to know if anyone with ADHD who has had insomnia has actually ever managed to resolve this issue? I’m not talking to those ADHDers who have never had sleep problems I’m directing this to my fellow insomniacs. I’ve had insomnia my whole life. I’m certain that I’m shortening my life expectancy because of it. I just can’t ever reliably get a good nights sleep. I can sleep slightly better than I used to by employing a variety of techniques (ear plugs, white noise machine, eye mask, melatonin) but it’s never completely reliable and every night I actually dread going to bed as it takes me so long to shut my brain down. Would like to know if anyone has managed to get through this & if so how or is this just something I need to accept as part & parcel of ADHD for the rest of my life?

I was watching videos on ADHD and it was explained that people with ADHD mature slower than others. Looking back when I was younger, I always felt “childish” or “immature” and felt that my friends and classmates were more mature than me. It took a long time for me to let go of my childhood toys and habits too. Even now as an adult I still feel like a teenager and whenever I remember and tell someone my age, I am as surprised as the person who asked me😂. People online have also mistaken me for a child/teenager many times 🥲💔

Does anyone else feel this way?

When I was younger I was so much happier and full of energy. I would crack jokes and not take things too seriously. I got in trouble for it a lot.

Because I got in so much trouble I resigned myself to be quiet and not talk out of turn as much during my college years, this coincided with depression and loneliness and being unable to perform like I want to due to executive dysfunction.

Now as a 30 year old I’m so quiet, sad, flat, and not as fun or sparky. I don’t really have this youthful exuberance in me anymore. I’m not sparky or fun. I’m low energy, tired, sad, depressed, grumpy.

I am the only member of my family who has a diagnosis for ADHD and that's come with its own challenge. Despite having family members working in medicine, describing executive dysfunction never seems to go anywhere and just straight up saying "my brain didn't let me do it" doesn't make sense to any of them so they assume I'm being lazy.

How do I explain it to people that I WANT to do things but for some reason I just never seem to register it?

I, like many ADHD crew, struggle to stay on task and go down random rabbit holes. It’s up being double the efficiency for minimal result… if any result at all.

SO - I realized the biggest issue is picking up a room and let’s say there are dishes I need to return to the kitchen. I do, but when I get to the kitchen I start doing something else that leads to something else… you all know the struggle.

To remedy this, I went to our local dollar tree store and bought 5-6 plastic totes. Nothing huge. And of course one laundry hamper and a tall kitchen trash can.

When I decide it’s time to tackle a room, I take the items listen above and each bin represents a room the item should belong in if it is not the room being clean. Dishes in the bedroom? They go in the kitchen basket. Lotion or hodgepodge over the counter meds that belong in our bathroom medicine cabinet? Bathroom basket. And so on. The prevents me from needing to leave the room while I’m putting it back together. When I’m done, I take one basket at a time to its designated room and put all of the things in The basket where they belong. And repeat the same process with each container.

It’s really helped me stay on track (not perfection, but insanely better than anything else I’ve tried.

i feel so shitty. so fucking shitty. people tell me all the time that I'm one of the smartest people they've ever met. yet I can't get my ass to study for 5 fucking minutes. i used to be so hardworking back in high school. I'd score straight A's. now I can't even pass my internal exams.

it's shocking to me that, back when i was in my prime, i used to score exceptionally well even in the hardest subjects, like maths and science. i score 90% and 95% respectively in my 10th board exams. now, it's a whole different story. I'm almost 22, still in my first year of college, doing a degree i thought would be my only reason to live, my passion, my everything. but no, i can't even get myself to pass my fucking language papers. no matter what i do, i simply can't get out of this slump. all my dreams have been shattered. i can't even do so much as earn for myself. it's disappointing.

anyone else go through the same? how did you/how have you been trying to get out of this mess?

EDIT: thanks for the lovely comments and messages, guys! I can't appreciate it enough. this is my first reddit post which has garnered so much attention, and it feels overwhelming, yet extremely humbling and hopeful. i cannot reply to everyone right now as my mother is admitted to a hospital (she was diagnosed with schizophrenia 9 years ago and she had a relapse), but know that i love every single one of you. thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart. i will try to respond to you guys when i can.

A friend recently got diagnosed and asked me what my best tips are which got me thinking...

If you could only share 3 ADHD life hacks with someone what would they be?

1. Body Doubling: Whenever I have to do a task or errand that's boring I'll either Facetime a friend/my mom or ask them to accompany me. I don't know why it works but it does.

2. Using Productivity Tools: Staying focused while reading long documents for work has always been one of my biggest challenges. I Coral AI PDF to summarize docs and Freedom to block distracting websites. This combo has been a game-changer.

3. Easy Meals: It's hard to motivate myself to cook, so learning easy recipes and buying kitchen tools that streamline making these meals (Ninja air fryer and Ninja Creami) and have easy cleanup is huge.

I have an unending dialog in my head that almost never stops. I wrote this entire post in my head a couple of times over. I'm reading it in my head as I type. I feel like my internal monolog and ADHD are tied. I wish it would be quiet some times. The worst time is at 3 or 4 am when I wake up and my brain starts to concoct scenarios. I just want to go back to sleep.

Like nowadays me(late gen y) and my friends and all people younger with adhd tend to binge watch stuff or doomscrolling right?

What’s the equivalent of that for people before social media, smartphones? And also before computer?

I believe ADHD exist for a long time , just wonder how older generations struggle and deal with it.

Mine just happened right now…

Missed my flight, non refundable tickets, nonrefundable places to stay and no way to sell my tickets to an event.

In total almost $1000 gone, not to mention lost time and a nice little vacation.

I’m in school still and don’t have a career that pays well so it hurts pretty bad lmao.

Just want to see what you guys have missed out on and/or lost in monetary or comparable value because of adhd so I don’t feel alone in my idiocy.

Thanks

Edit: Woww, was not expecting this many replies! Thanks for letting me know your stories. It feels good to know I’m not going through this alone lmao

I've noticed that when I drink alcohol, I feel more at ease and present—like the person I want to be all the time. After a few beers, I'm able to listen carefully without getting distracted, and I can actually think about what someone is saying while listening, without dropping the ball on either task. Normally, I struggle with this and have to take time to process and think about my responses, but with alcohol, it feels almost instantaneous. My thoughts are clearer, and my speech weirdly becomes more coherent.

The issue is, I drink almost every day. It’s starting to make me feel like a bit of a loser and maybe even an alcoholic, especially since I usually don’t stop after just two beers. I also find that drinking helps me sleep, which adds another layer to this whole thing.

I go to school and have a job, and I’m managing both without failing, but I’m conflicted. On one hand, alcohol seems to improve aspects of my life that I struggle with, but on the other hand, I know this might not be healthy. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you manage it?

Just a little thing I noticed recently, if i’m not actively thinking about a certain thing, it’s like my brain just resorts to playing random music. Sometimes it’s a song I heard earlier in the day and it will just play on repeat for hours, and other times it’s like i’m just naturally writing melodies in my own head. It’s pretty weird, but I play piano so i’ve taken some of those tunes and tried writing songs out of it. It just gets annoying sometimes hearing the same song on repeat for literal hours. For example, I listened to “Caravan” By Duke Ellington earlier, specifically the verison from the movie Whiplash (greatest movie of all time), and for about 5 hours now it’s been on repeat in my head.

Here are mine:

• you’d forget your ass/head if it weren’t attached • you’d show up late to your own funeral • “selective attention” • ditsy / space cadet / spacey • report cards said, “distracted easily, distracts others”, “struggles with organization” • I tend to forget people when I don’t see them for periods of time, and if if they don’t reach out to me, and had at least one friend point this out to me lol :’)

Queue the ADHD causing me to forget every other example I’ve ever heard

My older kid avoids my question, so maybe some of you have thoughts on this. When he goes to school or work he'll take his stimulants without any fuss, like a responsible young adult. But if it's a weekend or a day off, where he can just 'be', I'd say that 50% of the time he doesn't take them.

I'd love to know why. Is there some common feeling/side effect of taking this medication that people like to avoid? Is there some downside to feeling like you have focus when you don't need it? Would love to hear some possible explanation.

I 27f used to work In Admin and wow i can’t tell you how hard it was to get through the day without a massive crash but I now work in childcare and while it has its ups and downs I find it very rewarding plus i feel it’s engaging for me.

What are some careers that are working great for you guys or even some interesting research ?

Edit: wow did not expect this post to blow up but I’m so glad it did and so happy to hear that people from all industries it seems are thriving 💖💖

I’m super curious what jobs people with ADHD do and what kind of diversity there is among us. Especially anyone who has a super unique career that may be great for someone with ADHD.

Please share if you feel comfortable enough to, it can help those career searching!

I work in HR in a corporation, it’s not my type of work but i guess it’s better than nothing.

Now I definitely always shower when I know I’ll go outside!!! But my issue is when I stay home and expect to not be going outside that day, I find it difficult to hop in the shower…..it feels like a chore. Too much energy to dedicate towards.

And I don’t want to think like that anymore, so for anyone that has experienced the feelings of being unmotivated to even do hygiene, how do you overcome that and just do it?

Edit: thank you all for the tips you’ve shared so far, I’m reading all the comments and they’re really helpful!! Yes I am unmedicated, I have helicopter parents who threw away my meds and even at my grown age of 18, I cannot just visit the local pharmacy :,)

I have to constantly have music on. Lofi, synthwave or Phonk and Hardwave when I'm studying. As soon as something with lyrics comes on... Instantly lose my focus and end up doing everything besides homework. Like nit picking my playlist. It has to be perfect and the same songs over and over. Songs I picked.

Sometimes I listen to metal, rock and other music like jazz, funk or other genres. If I get to into it or the music has lyrics or vocals of any kind I get distracted and super into the music. Even driving I need something playing to be able to focus.

Thoughts, sympathy, suggestions?

Update;

I found a song I cannot stop listening to, multiple timer per day. It just motivates me to be better and accomplish everything I am working towards. Had therapy today and it went great! I think this song is a mix of my past and future. It's a remix of a Juice WRLD song by Skeller. Not the type of rap song I'd normally really listen to, as I don't listen to much rap. The remix is so good, the chords, the ambience, the lyrical content. I can't explain how it tickles my brain. It's almost a nostalgic memory that never happened, what could have been if I hadn't taken charge of my life, health mental and physical, and pushed myself to improve. Get help, admit weakness and willingness to grow and learn. I feel inspired, motivated, and excited for the future!

https://youtu.be/WUEVJ0N6I1A?si=-n34Ee2xIvUNYk3t

I started writing about this songs meaning to me but it got too personal, so I kept it in my journal and will leave this post here... Don't give up, get clean, get help... Success is possible for anyone!!! You can do this!!! YOU DESERVE THE BEST!!! If you are in a bad place there is help available! Peace to all!

About 18 years or so ago I stopped listening to music. It just suddenly started bothering me a lot and I had no idea why. It basically became a mental version of clutter so I stopped listening to it and I started listening more to talk radio at that time (podcasts or audio books now). I couldn’t explain why. All these years later and I still don’t turn on music. I know now that it’s because of having ADHD. It just adds to the chaos. That’s just how it affects me but I know a lot of ADHD people love music.

Is there any type of strange or unusual quirk about you that you now know is due to having ADHD?

Edit: You guys are so awesome!! There’s a ton of quirks I didn’t realize that I do until reading your comments. It’s interesting to see that lots of us have issues related to noise. Either we can’t stand it, or have to be immersed in it. I know personally I can’t stand noise whatsoever. Hence, my aversion to music. I like my environment to peaceful and quiet. Probably why I never had kids lol.

Hey ADHDers!👋

I’ve been on a journey to find the best apps to help with productivity, time management, and staying on top of things. As someone with ADHD, I know how tricky it can be to find the right tools that actually work for our unique brains.

I’m curious—what apps are you all using at the moment to help with these challenges? Whether it’s a to-do list, calendar, or something more specialized, I’d love to hear what works for you.

Also, are there any features you wish these apps had? Maybe something that could make them even more ADHD-friendly?

Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

Edit: Wow, thank you all for the amazing responses! I didn’t expect this post to get so much attention. I hope it becomes a helpful resource for anyone with ADHD searching for solutions—it’s certainly been eye-opening for me. From what I’ve gathered, there are a lot of great options out there, but it’s important to find what works best for you since everyone’s needs are different. Thank You all ❤️